Writing The Write Obession [M]

[demonchild781]

[FONT=Arial Narrow]Hello every one, DC here.

Decided to start my reappearance on the OB here in the Anthology. Not sure how many of you will actually read this thread and reply, but I'm hoping a few so I can continue this thread for awhile. So anyways, before I start I want to warn you all that the reason for the M-rating is because some of my work is very graphic and violent. I do have a tendicy to swear frequently in my more passionate writing. The reason for that is because my work (which will be short stories, poetry, and songs) tend to reflect how I feel at the moment I write them. They are a way for me to release all that is bottled inside me do to the fact that I have yet to learn how to express myself through verbal comminucation. I will give brief decribitions at the end of each piece, but I would still like to see how to connected to them and/or felt when reading them. Thank you :)[/FONT]

[COLOR=SlateGray][FONT=Arial Narrow][U][B]Felt Compelled[/B][/U]

I?m not sure why
To sit here this night
3,000 miles away
And tell you a tale
That I?m sure you know better than me
Of heart ache
And half truths
The burden we all bare
I wanted to share a poem with you
That went with a story called
Angels Must Die
A story of betrayal
And love
The truth of the forgotten
And the deceit of the forever
Though I know a hatred burns inside you
I hope that you will listen
To the soft tale the following poem whispers
Because I think it holds true
In more than just one girl?s world

[I]Bitter sweet pain
Envelopes itself around me
And all I can think about
Is your touch
There is no blood thirsty regret
That lays heavy on my shoulders
As it does yours
I'm free to admit
That my heart belongs to you
Go ahead
And tell me another lie
For I'll believe it
Until the day I die
I did not ask to love you
Only to hold your hand
And share your pain
To take flight
Or battle the light
Wait out the dark
Or enter the night
I will love you
Until my dying breath[/I]

And though one girl's pain
Has evolved into what is now hate
She still continues to carry the burden
We all wish to forget
The truth behind the story books
The lies our faiths have took
A thing we all long for
But yet never strive hard enough to achieve
Cursed thing it is
Bringing upon such pain
But we all wish for it
All want it
And are willing to kill for it
Love
May it be with you always[/FONT][/COLOR]

[FONT=Arial Narrow]I wrote this little poem talking about my very popular RPG "Angels Must Die". I had realized one night, while re-reading some of the posts in the first chapter, how much it talked about the struggles of the heart and soul, and I felt that a once very dear friend of mine should here that even though we had grown apart, I would still always love them.[/FONT]

[COLOR=SlateGray][FONT=Arial Narrow][U][B]Giving It Away[/B][/U]

Clutch me tight, oh valiant lord
Stick your hand up my shirt
Take hold, oh yes, there
Can you feel it?
Yes you can!

Damn you
Damn you to hell, my precious love
Your firm grasp so sweet
Your taste oh how succulent
Fuck me like you do
Because I?ve always been worthless
To you
Yeah

Can you feel my chest
Rise and fall
Faster as you press against me
Ah, that?s how I like it
Feel my warmth
How I ready for you

Damn you to hell
To hell, my precious love
Your firm grasp is so sweet
Your taste oh how succulent
(Oh please) Fuck me like you do
Because (you always did) I?ve always been worthless
To you, to you baby

Oh now you?re through
You?ve had your fill of me
Crying out for you to come back
To return to me
But, oh how you don?t
For you misunderstood my invitation
You fucked me
Not loved me!

Damn you
To hell, my precious love
Your firm grasp so sweet (so sweet)
Your taste oh how succulent (succulent)
Fuck me like you do (oh like you do)
Because I?ve always been worthless
Yeah, I said worthless
To you
(But you meant the world to me)[/FONT][/COLOR]

[FONT=Arial Narrow]Um...well I must say that I rather enjoy this piece of work, despite the fact that its really violent and bitter. You'll find a few of these that will pop up with my work. Hopefully I can find a little bit more cheery piece for the last one of this post.[/FONT]

[COLOR=SlateGray][FONT=Arial Narrow][B][U]The Obession[/U][/B]

As we seem to joke
Has brought my yet another burden to bear
And though my love grows stronger
With each passing day
I seem to find myself slipping from you
A numbness
Creeps up on me
Filled with bitterness
And uncontrolled anger
The feeling growing faint
My obsession slipping away
But then when embraced in your touch
Your glory of words
I seem drawn back into it
Though I know I?ll never have you
I can?t seem to stop
Entertaining the thoughts
Of making love to you
Just one more time[/FONT][/COLOR]

[FONT=Arial Narrow]Not as cheery as I was hoping, but better than last one, right? Well I hope you enjoyed at least one of these and I hope to see some pretty comments, good or bad. If you didn't like them, please feel free to state so and why you feel that way. I like people to express themselves freely, especially about my work.

Thank you,
DC[/FONT]

[Sage Kaley]

Well I must say I really liked your work, what you posted I mean. The Obsession is my favorite, I think I connected to it the best thought because of er, past relationships. Although it was well written and the feelings were easy to see regardless if you've felt them before or not.

Same goes for Giving it Away, violent as it is, I loved it. The girl's feelings were so strong and sad but it was a beautiful poem.

I don't like Felt Compelled as much but I suppose it's because it was the middle italic section. It felt a bit out of place, like it should be on its own rather than in the middle of another poem. I did enjoy the ending. Sorry, that's just my silly little opinion, ignore it ^^;;

I'm glad I looked into this thread. I love your work and wait for the next post eagerly. ^^

[Kamuro]

[SIZE=1][B]Writing Style[/B]: The first poem is a unique one since it introduces and concludes itself seperately. I like this idea though, since it gives you a little background on the poem itself and your thought process concerning it's creation. The second work resembles a song and maybe that was your intention? Words in brackets are usually spoken softer then those of the song or at the same time by a different person. I'm not sure if thats what you had in mind when you wrote it, but maybe it means something. The third work has the classic poem feel and it's a welcome feel after the first two unique structures. All three flow well for the most part and their structure, however abstract they may be, works well in this particular situation.

[B]Felt Compelled[/B]: Most of your work seems to be about love and in some situations lack there of, and this poem is no exception. Although it's almost a morbid feeling of love you say yourself that all would kill for it and endlessly search for it, discarding the chance that it might not work out, which is true. No matter how much pain we endure, it's about getting up, brushing yourself off, and continuing on. Love has obviously taken it's toll on you and a lot of the time has left you with baggage you didn't want. You've been expected to bare a cross that you didn't deserve, and become a martyr for the other's happiness.

[B]Giving It Away[/B]: I was pretty surprised at this writing, since it's very blatant and cluttered with passionate emotion. There's so many things you could be "giving away" it's hard to choose just one. Virginity is something that comes to mind, but it's obviously something more then that. The physical interaction is represented, but the mental connection is there also. You're not only giving your body to the counterpart, but your heart as well. However it seems like the other entity in the poem took your both, and ravaged them equally. Having his way with your body and tossing your heart aside. And even after coming to this realization you've already fallen in love and are left with a lacking body and mind, but a love as strong as ever.

[B]The Obsession[/B]: This work has a classic poem feel and relates to love just as strong as the others. Perhaps this one was mutual but even so it seems to be slipping away and leaving you alone once again. It's a terrible feeling, being alone, with nothing to do but analyze your own insufficiencies. And no matter how far you seem to distance yourself from this loved one, when you see him you fall in love all over again. Whether mad, sad, confused, the emotions go away and all your left with is that familiar feeling of longing to be held.

[B]Conclusion[/B]: It's hard to draw a clear conclusion since each work was so different and exemplified different styles of writing. Although there isn't a consistent structure, the passion is always there. I think your poems offer something we can all relate to. Whether or not there's a defined structure doesn't matter, you can find your own rhythm while reading and make each work your own. I think you have a knack for writing and unbridled potential in the area. Nice work.[/SIZE]

[demonchild781]

[FONT=Arial Narrow]Thank you Sage for stopping by, and I look forward to your comments in the future. :animesmil

Dear, dear Kamuro, how well you've interrupted my work. One could look at it in a negative light, but I shall see only the good. Some one to talk to freely about the harsh world that comes with love.

Not sure why I'm so overly obessed with love and its workings. Its been a running trend with my life since I was a little girl. I loved watching romance movies like Grease ect. But as I grew older I realized that the real world does not work like the story books. Sadly enough to say. Well here is some new works.

Another poem about the fading light of love for some one who never truly loved me in return. Hate it when that happens. What was that quote again, read it in a short story about the Lockness Monster...in short it said something along these lines "There's always some one out there long for some one who doesn't care, and in the end they try to destory it to stop the pain" Yeah...not those excat words, but close. Anyways, here's my next piece.

[COLOR=DarkSlateGray][CENTER][U][B]In Front of Me[/B][/U]

Lost in the world
Of fading memories
The glory of the warmth
That left your lips that night
And though I lay alone
To dream of better days
Your memory still burns bright

I?ve been traveling
On the barren streets of love
Not a soul to be found
And though I weep silent tears
Of unforseen pain
I know that your wounds
Still burn brightly in my eyes

And I can?t seem to find my way
And all my joy left that day
Holding onto nothing
Desiring for regret
And I miss you more than ever
Even though you stand before me now

Hope did not shine in your woeful eyes
Like the stories told
By those before me
Saw your breaking point
With wounds screaming loud
But I was of no help to you

You feel to your knees
Begging for mercy
And I could only show you pain
The temptation of my lips
And the thickness in my hips
Was a lovely destraction
From all the pain

And I can?t seem to find my way
And all my joy left that day
Holding onto nothing
Desiring for regret
And I miss you more than ever
Even though you stand before me now

What can I say
I?ve lost my way
Your scars burn brightly
And I?m stuck on that day
Holding onto nothing
Desiring for regret
And I miss you
Yeah I said I miss you
More than ever
Even though I see you
Standing in front of me[/CENTER][/COLOR]

My next piece is a short story I wrote about four years ago about a dragon's love for a human. Of course my style has changed and my overall writing has improved, but I very much enjoy the story and meaning behind it. I hope you all enjoy it just as much I as I have.

[COLOR=DarkSlateGray][CENTER][U][B]The Heart of a Dragon[/B][/U][/CENTER]

?Shut up! I?m trying to tell these humans why I?m here, in heaven, and not still living on the earth. Gees?centaurs these days.? I turned to face the two young humans. Well, they weren?t that young, but compared to me they were. ?Now, where was I??

?You ended by saying like you died for us, I mean mankind.? Said one of the humans.

?Ah, yes?I give my life for you ungrateful creatures. I won?t start from the beginning because it will take to long. I had lived on the earth, protecting humans for a living. I loved humans. They were my favorite creatures. They were so much different, than any of the creatures I knew about. They just were so much different. I could look at a human and none of them would be perfect, like unicorns or my kind. They were so not perfect they were perfect.

?Though I risked my life for them. They still continued to hunt me down, as if I was the blood- thirsty hellhound. I had saved many female humans in the day and quite a few males. But one day I met a male human that was so much different then any I had ever met. Before him I kept my emotions out of my rescue missions, so not to be heart by their unkindness.

?But I must admit that I had fallen for a couple of male humans. But nothing compared to the feelings I had for this one. He was shorter than most of the males I had encountered before he. He had short sandy hair with these dazzling blue eyes. He went by the name of Damion. It?s so hard to describe him any farther. His personality was something else.?

?Does he still live on the earth?? asked the other human.

?Of course. When I lived there, he would come to my cave every now and again and tell me his stories about his adventures. He would tell me of how the fair mermaids had swept him off his feet and how much he liked this one human girl. All the time I was fallen even more in love with him and his kind. Then one day he stopped coming to my cave. I waited for him for two months and he still had not returned to talk to me. Just before three months had passed I decided to go look for him. I had not stepped one talon outside, when he appeared before my cave.
Let?s just say this had happened servial times afterwards.

?One day I decide to see how all the other humans were doing. So one warm summer night I took flight over the land. As I was about to turn around to go home, I saw the huntress, whom had a firm grip on a human. I flew down to her. She snapped, ?this does not concern you, Oceanbreeze?. I looked at her then at the human she had a hold of. It was the human, Damion! ?What has he down to you, Young Huntress?? I asked her. ?He has played me for a foul for the last time. Now he must die!? she answered angrily. Blood slowly oozed from under her nails, which were in bedded in his neck. I closed my eyes for a short moment. ?I will make a deal with you. I will never protect humans against another huntress if?you let this one go? I told her. She looked at him, then at me. She let him go and he tumbled to the ground. Then she said sternly ?I shale kill you if I ever see you trying to stop my kind.? Then she was out of site.?

?So, what did you do?? asked a human.

?I did what I said I would do and that was not to protect my beloved human. All for another human. I hadn?t seen Damion since then and I lived in my own stupidness. I had told myself that I would never turn my backs on the humans just to save one, but I had anyhow. One stormy day, I lay, alone, in my cave. I heard the sound of footsteps I brought my head into the air. Damion rushed into my cave and fell to his knees. He was gasping for air as I approached him. ?Why have you returned to my cave, Damion?? I asked him. He looked up at me, then said, ?You must come?you?re the only one that can stop them!? The cave fell silent. ?Stop who,? I answered. ?Huntresses?they?ve attacked a human village. My home! Where by fair lady lives! Please, oh mighty dragon. Please, help me one last time, Oceanbreeze?!? He stared into my eyes with his. Water dripped from his for head down his face. I lowered my head and closed my eyes. ?I am not helping you, but the other humans.? ?Oh thank you, Oceanbreeze. May the high powers have mercy on your soul, because you have done no wrong in this world.?

?I lowered by body to the ground so he could climb on. When he was comfortable on my shoulders, I raced out of my cave and jumped into the stormy sky. The rain poured down onto my body and soaked my face. ?There?there it is.? He shouted.

There below us humans and huntresses collided. Humans lay every where and time was running out. I darted towards the village and shot a cloud of fire towards the huntresses. The humans ran into their homes while the huntresses prepared to face my rage. I landed on top of a very large stone home. I let Damion off and told him to run to his lady. Once he was gone, I leaped into the air and began to shoot fireballs at the huntresses making sure not to hit the buildings. But I knew I was bond to make a mistake and I did. I flew to close to the ground and the huntresses jumped onto me. I fought with all I had as I hurled to the ground. I was lucky that there weren?t that many huntresses. I was able to kill them all including Young Huntress.

?I fell in the center of the village on able to move. I could slowly see the humans coming out of their homes. They stared at me with fear in their eyes. Then suddenly they rushed toward me and began to beat me with knives and clubs. They were killing me, even after I had saved their miserable lives.?

?Where was Damion?? asked one the humans.

?He stood with his lady and watched them kill me! He didn?t even tried to stop them. He just stood and watched. Well that?s how I died. Well?I must be going. Nice talking to you.? I turned around and joined up with the centaur I yelled at earlier.

?What is the point of telling them all that.? He asked.

?Oh?they won?t be staying here long. It?s not their time. I?m hoping they can change how humans feel about us dragons. Because we really do care. Well?at least I know that I do.? [/COLOR] [/FONT]