Jump to content
OtakuBoards

Manga Rajio Rabu


Takanutsu
 Share

Recommended Posts

In this manga description you wont be left hanging, along the way ill introduce the three main characters and give away thier secrets.

In this action/adventure manga we follow down a teen named Makais path. Know Makai is just an ordinary 15 year old, with an unordinary twist. You see Makai is 15 years old and owns his own house with the view of a beautiful landscape,and hes the most mature kid in high school.The story begins when Makai finds out some madman is trying to conquer Asia and Japan to create his own monarchy with him as king, all to avenge his family who were tragically killed by the guy who happens to be Makais Father.

The madmans name is Takanutsu and his quest is to wipe out the entire human population on Asia and Japan, no questions asked. In order for hm to takeover Asia and Japan he takes a man from both of the places. He fuses thier molecules to form one person, a whole new race called Apans.This new race will be his army, his sword and his shield. Soon in the series the other continents around the world nbuild up thier armies and a whole war begins, so called The last war.

When Makai finds out he gathers up all the people he can includng his friend Taki, a gang leader named Mountain Man and his gangs. Just one last thing.....Mkais girlfriend is in Asia, one of the places everyone will be killed in. so Makai must save his girlfriend, kil Takanutsu and save the largest populated places on earth.

Know for character bios

Makai
Age:15
[U]Gender:[/U]male
[U]Things he carries:[/U]A metal rod, a marker spray paint and a book called a True warriors guide to the untouchable
[U]Enterests:[/U]fighting,vandalism,forums,overcoming
[U]Best Friends:[/U] Taki,kukochi,MountainMan
[U]What makes him tick:[/U]rocks,if anyone touches his girl,idiots, and war
[U]Born:[/U]Kohuto,Japan
[U]Know lives:[/U]Richmond,Virginia
[U]Personality:[/U]Quiet, misunderstood, enraging, easily disturbed
[U]Fatality:[/U] in Vol. 4 Makai dies while facing Takanutsu, the rest of the volumes go down Taki and MountainMans path as they fight to destroy Takanutsu. Makai is the last of hs family the others died in a bonfire.
[U]Secret:[/U]in Vol. 6 Makai is brought back through reincarnation, when Taki found the crypt of lives that gives 3 people a choice of powers.Reincarnation, power to give others powers, and powers oif mass destruction.

Taki
Age:16
Gender:Male
Motivation:Joins Makai to destroy the Apan empire
Things he carries: a lighter,a knife,some matches,and a three year old comb
Enterests:fighting,girls,food,adventure shows,Tv,and flying
Best Friends:Makai,MountainMan,Jerry
Worst Enemies:Takanutsu,Tutol,Manlason
what makes him tick:annoying kids, getting weak,defeat,and that wierd accent germans have.
Born:Kohuto,Japan
Know Lives:Richmond,Virginia
Personality:ready for action, upgoing, strong
Fatality:His uncle who works for Takanutsu is killed by MountainMan
Secret:Takis mother is the mayor of virginia and is the woman in Vol. 7 who sends armies to asia.

MountainMan
Age:20
Gender:Male
Motivation:MountainMan,Gang leader the best of them all, also the strongest. His mission was to lead his gang and other gangs to create a gang army. He would try to over throw the government and make his own democracy.
Things he carries:a couple knives, spray paint,a gun or two, and newsweek magazine.
Enterests: vandalism, fighting, overcoming the strong
~rest unfinished~

:animesigh [CENTER]any questions[/CENTER] :an
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
I am well aware that you probably don?t like me all that much. I?ve been kind of harsh to your manga ideas in the past, but I want you to understand that these are just my opinions. Please read all of this, and at least try to see where I?m coming from with what I?m saying.

First and foremost, you should probably learn to stick to one idea and make it the best you possibly can instead of starting something new whenever you get a bad critique. It just seems that you've been discarding all of your old ideas without a second thought. I'm not saying that they needed to be saved, but any bad story can be made into a gem with enough work.

The most glaring issue in this idea are the ?Apans.? It took me a while to be certain that you were being serious about this. Japan, despite being an island, is considered to be a part of the continent of Asia. What is the point of wasting the money to be able to molecularly fuse two people together when you can just let them have babies the old fashioned way, anyways? In addition, if you fuse an Asian person and a Japanese person together you could very well get another Japanese person. Note that I said ?person,? molecularly fused humans will still be humans. If you fused them with panda bears on the other hand...

The whole ?Apan? thing seems insulting to Asians in general, but I can?t say that I?m personally offended since I?m not Asian.

The characters aren?t exactly what I?d call realistic. Try to avoid the extremes like ?the smartest kid? or ?the best fighter? because they can make the character too perfect. In spite of what most people who make perfect characters think, characters without flaws are often disliked, or even hated, by readers.

?True warriors guide to the untouchable? seems like a book based on fighting members of the lowest level of the caste system in India, but I imagine that wasn?t what you were going for. I was just wondering what you actually meant by that title.

Why would anyone (other than America) overthrow the Japanese government to make it a democracy ? Somehow I think that it would be more fun to take over the government and become the Emperor of Japan, but that might just be me.

What I?m about to say might offend you, but just hear me out. This idea would be incredible as a satire of the viewpoint of the average American teen. The ignorance and the clichés, it?s to such an extreme that I wondered if this was done as a joke. Taking it just as it is now and adding a little bit of irony and smarmy dialogue would make this story fantastic. I know I would read it. There is so much potential for this with just that change that I had to tell you. I truly believe that this story could be amazing if you're willing to poke fun at your own idea.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[QUOTE=Chikara Kokoro]I am well aware that you probably don?t like me all that much. I?ve been kind of harsh to your manga ideas in the past, but I want you to understand that these are just my opinions. Please read all of this, and at least try to see where I?m coming from with what I?m saying.

First and foremost, you should probably learn to stick to one idea and make it the best you possibly can instead of starting something new whenever you get a bad critique. It just seems that you've been discarding all of your old ideas without a second thought. I'm not saying that they needed to be saved, but any bad story can be made into a gem with enough work.

The most glaring issue in this idea are the ?Apans.? It took me a while to be certain that you were being serious about this. Japan, despite being an island, is considered to be a part of the continent of Asia. What is the point of wasting the money to be able to molecularly fuse two people together when you can just let them have babies the old fashioned way, anyways? In addition, if you fuse an Asian person and a Japanese person together you could very well get another Japanese person. Note that I said ?person,? molecularly fused humans will still be humans. If you fused them with panda bears on the other hand...

The whole ?Apan? thing seems insulting to Asians in general, but I can?t say that I?m personally offended since I?m not Asian.

The characters aren?t exactly what I?d call realistic. Try to avoid the extremes like ?the smartest kid? or ?the best fighter? because they can make the character too perfect. In spite of what most people who make perfect characters think, characters without flaws are often disliked, or even hated, by readers.

?True warriors guide to the untouchable? seems like a book based on fighting members of the lowest level of the caste system in India, but I imagine that wasn?t what you were going for. I was just wondering what you actually meant by that title.

Why would anyone (other than America) overthrow the Japanese government to make it a democracy ? Somehow I think that it would be more fun to take over the government and become the Emperor of Japan, but that might just be me.

What I?m about to say might offend you, but just hear me out. This idea would be incredible as a satire of the viewpoint of the average American teen. The ignorance and the clichés, it?s to such an extreme that I wondered if this was done as a joke. Taking it just as it is now and adding a little bit of irony and smarmy dialogue would make this story fantastic. I know I would read it. There is so much potential for this with just that change that I had to tell you. I truly believe that this story could be amazing if you're willing to poke fun at your own idea.[/QUOTE]

You see Im sticking with this forever, im gonna actually publish this

A true warriors guide to the untouchable a guide for warriors to read in tight conditions, or for fighting moves.also to look at to get to things that noone else can get to.

and hey man who said i hated you?

you see Takanutsus family was mured by Makais father who part of a japanese government.Im thinking on changing it to Takanutsu creating an oligarchy instead of democracy

the smartest kid? where the hell did that come from, noones perfect in this manga. Infact its gonna be so realistic that it seems like there is no main character.

the Apan thing is no insult, its from Takanutsus mind he despites the Japanese and Asian race this is not to offend anyone, its just a manga

anything else?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay, just be positive that you're making this the best that you can. I still think that the whole Apan thing is strange since Japan is an Asian country. I can't understand why you feel the need to distinguish the two. If this is the story you believe in then you should definitely stick with it, but at this stage you should consider changing some things about it. No idea is perfect, right?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='Chikara Kokoro']Okay, just be positive that you're making this the best that you can. I still think that the whole Apan thing is strange since Japan is an Asian country. I can't understand why you feel the need to distinguish the two. If this is the story you believe in then you should definitely stick with it, but at this stage you should consider changing some things about it. No idea is perfect, right?[/quote]

the Apan thing will change i thought about it, but this is the manga i just know it!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...