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The Marauders [PG]


Jokopoko
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[size=1][color=teal]I wrote this a while ago but the site I sent it to never actually posted it up so I figure I can post here and see what people think to it and perhaps write more, heh. The story revolves around Harry's dad (James Potter) and his friends at Hogwarts school during their time there, hence the title "The Marauders". Enjoy.

[i]Note:[/i] This is the first part of the first chapter, there's more of this to come but I didn't want to scare people off with 3000+ words, heh.

[center]~*~

[b][u]Chapter One[/b]
Speculation[/u][/center]

Waking slowly from his long-nights sleep James settled himself for a while by looking out of his room window to the countryside. After a few moments he yawned widely and stretched himself before slumping back to a waking-sleep state and messing up his hair with vigour. It had been his eleventh birthday several days ago so he, along with his mother and father, had been awaiting his letter from Hogwarts accepting him into the school. Privately he thought he was better than school but he had surmised to humour his parents and teachers at least for the first year to see what he thought of the place.

Rubbing his eyes he clambered out of his bed proceeded to dress himself in his dressing gown and slippers before taking himself down stairs to breakfast. Looking lazily into the mirror it said to him: ?Perk up, young sir. ?Tis a fine morrow this day?, yawning a little again he simply waved a hand toward the mirror before shuffling out, personally he wished his parents would get rid of the mirror for it had been in the family for several generations and was getting old. Walking into the kitchen with tousled hair and puffy eyes he saw the frying pan working of its own accord while his mother sat reading the morning Prophet

?Morning, dear? Mrs. Potter said, though not looking up from the Daily Prophet that was laid out on the table before her. ?Your father?s already left for the Ministry and I have to go myself soon?. James merely nodded to show he had heard and understood her, He gave her a kiss on the cheek and walked over to the frying pan and took out two scrambled eggs and a few pieces of toast. He then settled himself by his mother and looked at the cover of the Prophet.

[center]FRESH ATTACKS BY YOU-KNOW-WHO
BARTIMUS CROUCH PLEADS FOR HARSHER MEASURES[/center]

It showed a picture of Mr. Crouch, head of Magical Law Enforcement, talking adamantly at the Minister for Magic who seemed to be ignoring him.

?So they h ? ha ? haven?t been able to get more Death Eaters yet?? James asked through a large yawn. She shook her head grimly, ?The minister still won?t see eye-to-eye with Barty Crouch on the matter, and Crouch has Dumbledore to contend with if he wants these harsher measures. Your father will be hard pressed over the next few days but we should be alright here, so don?t worry.?

Taking his time over his food James wondered about the Death Eaters and the whole Voldemort affair and thought if it was actually worth going to school in a time of such turmoil. Just as he was thinking this his thought was answered in the form of a Screech Owl flying through the window with a letter bound to its leg. Mrs. Potter looked up as the owl landed in front of James and put out its leg expectantly waiting for him to take the letter. James removed it quickly from the owl and watched it sore out of the window and into the distance.

Mrs. Potter looked at the letter and then to James, ?Who?s the letter from, James? Is it Fabian?? She asked expectantly, he turned the letter onto its back and saw the Hogwarts crest in wax on the seal, ?No?.it?s from Hogwarts? He said offhandedly as he opened the letter and read:

[i][center]HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)[/center]

Dear Mr. Potter,
We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on 1 September. We await your return owl no later than 31 July.

Yours sincerely

Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress[/i]

After reading the first piece of parchment James unfolded the second piece and read:

[i]HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY

Uniform
First-year students will require:
1. Three sets of plain work robes (black)
2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear
3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar
4. One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings)
Please note that all pupils? clothes should carry name tags

Set Books
All students should have a copy of each of the following:
The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1) by Miranda Goshawk
A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot
Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling
A Beginners? Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch
One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore
Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander
The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble

Other Equipment
1 wand
1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)
1 set glass or crystal phials
1 telescope
1 set brass scales

Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad

PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST-YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS.[/i]

Taking his head up from reading the parchment he saw that his mother was beaming at him. ?Well, I wondered when it would arrive. I half thought they had forgotten about you, congratulations James?. She hugged him in a way that only a mother could which left him feeling very content with himself and he couldn?t help grinning.

?Why make the fuss, mum? You knew I was going to get in anyway? James said trying to shrug off the approval. She looked at him sceptically ?Ah yes, well then I suppose you don?t want me to buy you anything like a broom or an owl then?? She said in a similarly sceptical tone. James?s eyes widened with shock. ?Wha ? What?? He stuttered but he recovered quickly, ?Well it you put it like that I suppose it IS a big deal about Hogwarts? He said putting on his most charming smile. Mrs. Potter laughed and ruffled his hair up and looked into his brown eyes with a motherly love.

?Alright then, what would you like then??

?Well?, he said in mock thought, ?I don?t think an owl would go a miss but I?d think about Brooms for next year? He was grinning from ear to ear.

?Fair enough, we can get you one from Eeylops when we go to Diagon Alley for your school things?

?That?ll be great, thanks mum? James gave her a huge hug, She glanced down at her watch and let out a small gasp.

?Oh my, look at the time. I?d better get to the office. Have fun today James with Fabian and Gideon while you?re with the Prewetts and I?ll see you later? She ruffled his hair again before kissing him on the cheek. Walking over to the fireplace she took a pinch of Floo-Powder and stepped into the emerald flames. ?Ministry of Magic!? She shouted, and one whooshing sound later she had vanished from the fire and it was once again red and crackling merrily. James took his gaze from the fireplace and turned back to the table but saw that the plates and paper had already been cleared away and the frying pan had, too, disappeared.

He let out an exasperated sign. ?Plucky, I swear, you may be the most meticulous house-elf but sometimes I wonder about you?.

Shaking his head James walked out of the kitchen back to his room to get dressed before travelling to the Prewetts with the Floo-Powder. Arriving back in his room he was greeted by the mirror once more. ?Dress your self, Master James. The day is almost half gone and you have squandered it most foolishly? James cast the mirror a dark sideways glance. ?Just shut up and let me get dressed will you? He snapped.

[center]~*~[/center]

Hope you all like it.[/color][/size]
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A good start for the first chapter. I did notice that you put two people talking in one of the earliar and later paragraphs however, and I did think the list was semi-unnenecasary (even though Rowling did the exact same thing). I would of just done the list thing in narrative form.
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[COLOR=Navy]*is being forced to post*

Like I said, I think it's pretty cool, and I'm quite looking forward to the rest of Chapter 1. Though I want to get to the good part already with him at Hogworts and stuff because that's the flesh of the story, well, hopefully.

Apposing to Doublehex I think the official Hogworts letter was a nice touch because it gives it a real book-like feel I guess, but I wouldn't copy too many other things from the book or it'll seem repetitive, etc. etc.

The main thing I like about this story is just the fact that it's a different view, and when reading the HP books I was really quite interested in knowing about James and Lilly's lives and how things were during their time, and because he grew up with magic so that wasn't a problem for him like it was for Harry.

Anyway, I posted, and that's what counts ¬.¬ [/COLOR]
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[size=1][color=teal]Thanks for the comments folks, here's the second part of Chapter One. Hope you're enjoying it.

[center]~*~[/center]

One Floo-Journey and a few hours later James was enjoying himself at the Prewett house while his parents were out at work. He preferred the Prewetts house to his own at Godric?s Hollow for several reasons. First, it was that it was much bigger than his own with four floors and more secret passages than he cared to count; there were more magical objects as well because the Prewetts, unlike the Potters, didn?t live close to Muggles and so didn?t need to cover up the fact that they were, in fact, a magical family and not normal at all.

He and the Prewett twins, Fabian and Gideon, had been keeping themselves busy by discussing all manner of things Quidditch related. From the fantastic World Cup final of 1969 between Japan and Germany to the news of the new Nimbus 1500 model set for release and imagining themselves playing for their house-team in the second year (all these fantasises resting on the Gryffindor team of course).

?Wouldn?t that be great?? Fabian sighed happily, ?If we all got on the team next year?.Nimbus 1500s all around I?d say.? Flipping over onto his stomach, Fabian opened the latest issue of ?Which Broomstick?? and gazed dreamily at the pictures of the Nimbus 1500.

?I wouldn?t get your hopes up, Fabian. Mum and Dad wouldn?t trust you with a broomstick after what you did to Dad?s Cleansweep.? chuckled Gideon as he smiled at the memory.

?Hey, they got it out of the chimney eventually.? Fabian retorted defensively. ?What d?you think, James? Would we get on the house team?? He asked, still gazing blissfully at the Nimbus.

James shrugged. ?I dunno, I suppose we could try out and you have to say that they?d be foolish not to let us in.? he said with confidence in his voice. There was a moment of silence as each of the three boys had delusions of grandeur on the Quidditch pitch until Gideon broke the lull in the conversation.

?Hey, speaking of Hogwarts, what other families are sending kids that you know of?? he asked, looking hopefully at James. James?s mother worked for the Improper Use of Magic Office and so had a basic knowledge of all the young wizards and witches around the country.

?Erm?.well I?ve heard her talking about the Pettigrews, apparently they have a son who?s going.? As he went he ticked off the names on his fingers, ?The Bones, the McKinnon...that?s all I can remember. No wait, hang on.? His face suddenly went dark as he remembered two more names, though it appeared he?d rather not have.

?Well, go on then? Fabian said in a curious tone. James signed slightly. ?The Malfoys and Blacks each have a son going there, I think the Malfoys? son is called Lucius but he?s been there a few years already, and the Blacks son is Sirius but it doesn?t matter, we all know what they?ll be like?. Both the Prewetts nodded in agreement with dark looks similar to James?s on their faces.

?Honestly, I don?t even know why they bother sorting that lot, it?s obvious that they?re going in to Slytherin, don?t waste our time just stuff them in quick as you can.? Gideon commented darkly, reflecting the thoughts of the other two boys in the room.

After that the three didn?t feel like talking about Hogwarts much with the thought of being in the same building as Malfoys and Blacks, so they passed the time playing Gobstones and trading the Chocolate Frog cards. James?s thoughts, however, still dwelled on Hogwarts, the houses in particular. What would his parents and friends think if he got sorted into Slytherin with the rest of the scum who called themselves wizards? He?d be no better than a Black.

Hufflepuff wouldn?t be bad, but not much better. Later he mentally scalded himself for thinking about that, both his parents had been in Gryffindor so it was an almost certain thing he would be as well, and add the fact that he was a decent person it was almost definite that he wouldn?t get into Slytherin. He was knocked suddenly from his semi-aware state when one of Gideon?s Gobstones shot him with a particularly strong blast of stink spray after he?d lost a point. A few games later, Mrs. Prewett called them all down for dinner.[/color][/size]
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[COLOR=Navy][SIZE=1]I promised you that I would put in my comments. ^^

These first two parts are wonderful, Will. Your characterization [as usual] is of [B]very[/B] high-quality and your narration is is right up there as well. I also have to agree with Sakura on the whole letter thing because it gives the story a nice, believable touch. For now, that's all I'll say.[/SIZE][/COLOR]
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