Time to Lighten up

[Heaven's Cloud]

[color=indigo] Well it seems to me that there are tensions rising on the Otaku today, even yours truly got a bit pissed, so here is a joke from Eddie Murphy's Delerious Stand Up in hopes to lighten tha mood a bit...

A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods,
The bear turns to the rabbit and ask's "do you have a problem with crap sticking to your fur" The rabbit says "no."
So the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit[/color]:laugh:

Well I think its funny anyways:raspberry

[tetsuo]

you brightened my day a little i wish more people knew funny jokes i know alot but they arent appropriate for younger audiences.

[Charles]

"This isn't really a joke(even though I love posting them), but it is something I saw on a site that they would like passed on. It's [I]supposed[/I] to cheer you up. Enjoy."

I am hereby officially tendering
my resignation as an adult. I have
decided I would like to accept the
responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.

I want to go to McDonald's and think
that it's a four star restaurant.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud
puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.

I want to think M&Ms are better than
money because you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and
run a lemonade stand with my friends on
a hot summer's day.

I want to return to a time when life was
simple; When all you knew were colors,
multiplication tables, and nursery
rhymes, but that didn't bother you,
because you didn't know what you
didn't know and you didn't care.

All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of
all the things that should make you
worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair.
That everyone is honest and good.

I want to believe that anything is
possible. I want to be oblivious
to the complexities of life and be
overly excited by the little things
again.

I want to live simple again. I
don't want my day to consist of
computer crashes, mountains of paperwork,
depressing news, how to survive more days
in the month than there is money in the
bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness,
and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of
smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth,
justice, peace, dreams, the imagination,
mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So . . . here's my checkbook
and my car-keys, my credit card bills
and my 401K statements. I am officially
resigning from adulthood.

And if you want to discuss this
further, you'll have to catch me
first, cause........
......"Tag! You're it."

[tetsuo]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Crazy White Boy [/i]
[B]"This isn't really a joke(even though I love posting them), but it is something I saw on a site that they would like passed on. It's [I]supposed[/I] to cheer you up. Enjoy."

I am hereby officially tendering
my resignation as an adult. I have
decided I would like to accept the
responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.

I want to go to McDonald's and think
that it's a four star restaurant.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud
puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.

I want to think M&Ms are better than
money because you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and
run a lemonade stand with my friends on
a hot summer's day.

I want to return to a time when life was
simple; When all you knew were colors,
multiplication tables, and nursery
rhymes, but that didn't bother you,
because you didn't know what you
didn't know and you didn't care.

All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of
all the things that should make you
worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair.
That everyone is honest and good.

I want to believe that anything is
possible. I want to be oblivious
to the complexities of life and be
overly excited by the little things
again.

I want to live simple again. I
don't want my day to consist of
computer crashes, mountains of paperwork,
depressing news, how to survive more days
in the month than there is money in the
bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness,
and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of
smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth,
justice, peace, dreams, the imagination,
mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So . . . here's my checkbook
and my car-keys, my credit card bills
and my 401K statements. I am officially
resigning from adulthood.

And if you want to discuss this
further, you'll have to catch me
first, cause........
......"Tag! You're it." [/B][/QUOTE]

im loving the ending. i wish i was 8 again. i never knew any of the problems that i do now, alli had to worry about was making sure i peed into the toilet and not messing with snakes. i could ride my bike for hours on end, yeah i think i am going to resign as an adult althoug i have only been one for about 3 months.

[tetsuo]

i hope no one is offended by this if you are just tell me and i will remove it. i think it is very funny but thats just my opinion. Enjoy.

[B]Have you ever wondered...WHO IS JACK SCHITT?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!"

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high
school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt[/B]

[Will2x]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by tetsuo [/i]
[B]i hope no one is offended by this if you are just tell me and i will remove it. i think it is very funny but thats just my opinion. Enjoy.

[B]Have you ever wondered...WHO IS JACK SCHITT?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!"

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high
school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt[/B] [/B][/QUOTE]


this story is a Piece O. Schitt, lol jk its halirous.

[Undying Angel]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Crazy White Boy [/i]
[B]"This isn't really a joke(even though I love posting them), but it is something I saw on a site that they would like passed on. It's [I]supposed[/I] to cheer you up. Enjoy."

I am hereby officially tendering
my resignation as an adult. I have
decided I would like to accept the
responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.

I want to go to McDonald's and think
that it's a four star restaurant.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud
puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.

I want to think M&Ms are better than
money because you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and
run a lemonade stand with my friends on
a hot summer's day.

I want to return to a time when life was
simple; When all you knew were colors,
multiplication tables, and nursery
rhymes, but that didn't bother you,
because you didn't know what you
didn't know and you didn't care.

All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of
all the things that should make you
worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair.
That everyone is honest and good.

I want to believe that anything is
possible. I want to be oblivious
to the complexities of life and be
overly excited by the little things
again.

I want to live simple again. I
don't want my day to consist of
computer crashes, mountains of paperwork,
depressing news, how to survive more days
in the month than there is money in the
bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness,
and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of
smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth,
justice, peace, dreams, the imagination,
mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So . . . here's my checkbook
and my car-keys, my credit card bills
and my 401K statements. I am officially
resigning from adulthood.

And if you want to discuss this
further, you'll have to catch me
first, cause........
......"Tag! You're it." [/B][/QUOTE]

well, that nearly didn't help me... I'm not an adult, nor a teen. I'm only 2 years older than that, and I somehow didn't think that way when I was 8... I had burdens... And yes, I know I shouldn't start whining about wishing to be an adult with all the responsibilities and authority, but my life isn't that carefree since I deal with pre-mature burdens.

But oh well, I feel some better from it.

[Charles]

Ah, I'm sorry to hear that. I guess, it only works for some of us.Maybe when you become older and deal with the the trials of adult life, you will look back on how you live now as a time of simplicity. I'd be foolish to promise that though, as I have no clue how you live or what you go through. I'm glad it made you feel a little better though.

Anyway, here's an an old, yet fun joke.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out and froze.

When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses" the burglar laughed. "What kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?"

"Probably the same kind of people that would name a rotweiller Jesus," the bird answered.

[Will2x]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Crazy White Boy [/i]
[B]Ah, I'm sorry to hear that. I guess, it only works for some of us.Maybe when you become older and deal with the the trials of adult life, you will look back on how you live now as a time of simplicity. I'd be foolish to promise that though, as I have no clue how you live or what you go through. I'm glad it made you feel a little better though.

Anyway, here's an an old, yet fun joke.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out and froze.

When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses" the burglar laughed. "What kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?"

"Probably the same kind of people that would name a rotweiller Jesus," the bird answered. [/B][/QUOTE]

HAHAH- ok it wasnt that funny,thats nice! i want more!

[Cibo]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by tetsuo [/i]
[B]i hope no one is offended by this if you are just tell me and i will remove it. i think it is very funny but thats just my opinion. Enjoy.

[B]Have you ever wondered...WHO IS JACK SCHITT?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!"

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high
school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt[/B] [/B][/QUOTE]

Haha, thats funny as heck.

[Charles]

Here's one more:

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.

When he reached his hotel in Florida, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

DEAREST WIFE:

JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.

P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE.

[Will2x]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Crazy White Boy [/i]
[B]Here's one more:

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.

When he reached his hotel in Florida, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

DEAREST WIFE:

JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.

P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE. [/B][/QUOTE]


AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH THATS SOOOOOOO FRIGGIN FUNNy!

[Sara]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Crazy White Boy [/i]
[B]And if you want to discuss this
further, you'll have to catch me
first, cause........
......"Tag! You're it." [/B][/QUOTE][FONT=century gothic]That is so flippin' awesome... ;)[/FONT]

[Chris.C]

[color=green]That is pretty funny...:butthead: [/color]

[woody]

I need to read more of these kind of threads. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: