Ever wonder? (A.K.A. The Pop Culture Rant Thread)

[The Spectacular Professor]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Here's something fun. Let's rant about pop culture! What you do is pick a subject, say "Ever wonder why *insert Subject here* does *insert habit here*" and go off on a short (about 2 sentences should do) tangent. I'll go first.

Ever wonder why those kids won't give the rabbit some Trix? I mean, all he wants is one bowl! I'm sure there's an ulterior motive. I mean, Trix aren't even that good.

Ever wonder why Dick Dastardly always pulls ahead of the other Wacky Racers and sets up those fail-prone traps for them? Think about it: He gains a sufficient lead, then he rigs the racetrack and stands there waiting for all the other Racers to fall for his trap. Obviously the Hydrofoil is fast enough to win legitimately without much trouble. What's the deal, Dick?

Ever wonder why all the dungeons in Legend of Zelda are set up specifically with the one weapon that can kill the boss readily at hand? It's like Ganondorf [I]wants[/I] to lose. Then he gets all mad when you load him with Silver Arrows and send him packing for the Sacred Realm. Like he didn't see it coming. Probably should have hid those arrows better.

Ever wonder why so many ninjas form the Naruto universe wear totally inappropriate clothes for ninja activities? Look at the title character himself! What is he, a Construction Site specialist? Not very stealthy if you ask me.

You get the idea. Have fun![/FONT]

[Neptune]

[FONT="Garamond"][SIZE="1"][COLOR="Navy"]Ever wonder how many licks it [I]really[/I] takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? The world may never know.

Ever wonder how Popeye got such a big boost of energy from a single can of spinach? Let's just say that there wasn't just spinach in that can ... [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[Korey]

[FONT="Franklin Gothic Medium"]Ever wonder why Spongebob never looks for a love interest? I mean, the dude is single, has a job, a good life...but no girl. Makes me wonder sometimes how much time he spends with Patrick :/

Ever wonder why The same 10 celebrities appear on tabloids? It's like, OMG isn't there some other celeb that's messing up worse for you guys to slander? Jeez:animesigh

As a corollary, ever wonder why the same headlines appear on every tabloid? "Brad leaves Angie, Britney storms out of her parent's house! Jamie Lynn having problems!" Can we at least have some new news? Gahhhh

/rant[/FONT]

[Kitchen Sink]

Ever wonder why Coyote spends all his money at ACME getting failure-prone traps to ensnare one scrawny road runner, when he could just buy a juicy meal?

Have you ever wondered why ACME was not the subject of hundreds of refund claims, given their contraptiosn rarely worked?

Ever wonder why action heroes can take bullets, jump off high-rises, and survive in a bloody fight to the death, yet wince in pain when their girlfriends apply antiseptic to the wounds?