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Writing Every Night

Guest Romeo

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Guest Romeo
[color=cc0066][b][size=4]EVERY NIGHT

Tonight she'll come to heal my pains

Tonight she'll untie my earthly chains

hours and hours i spent

waiting for your heanvenly descent

how can I describe your lovely face?

more beautiful than a shinning star in space

both the hand and pen are weak

no words or poets can reach your peak

no body saw your charmed beauty

but its me who can value your pretty

every night i dream about your smile

your eyes,lips ,or legendary tale

I feel your soul from far

flying behind horizons where you are

mixing with my smallest cells

acting in harmony like churchs bells

suddenly ,I woke up collecting my shattred-thought

looking at your marevelous light

strange that i could not move

frozen in the deepest hove

you graped my iced hand

and led me to your land[/size][/b][/color]


With all my love........Romeo the Lover
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nice for a begginer. you have the lines to far away. i will give ayou an example:

as i see you go,
i watch from below,
you can't go,
but why?

you are gone,
gone for the day,
please come back,

then you start a new part. here is another way you could write a poem:

fly away,
jump into the clouds.

and just keep it going. that is just for you to know, i think that is how all poems are wrote.
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Raiha [/i]
[B][COLOR=royalblue]Way to go Romeo...........BTW, don't post in a font that big please. It's not kosher. Thankx. ;)[/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE]
Not.....Kosher???Your a real job Raiha.Nice poem Romeo.
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Overall i like it, but there are a few lines where, say, there are a few too many syllables to fit the pattern you've set up. And this line to me makes no sense

but its me who can value your pretty/
every night i dream about your smile /

Otherwise i think that it's great!
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