Writing thoughts upon a roof top

[vegeta rocker]

Well i wrote this one last night, its just one of those that is about nothing yet everything. Someone told me it remined them about santa.

Thoughts upon a roof top

I stood upon a roof top
and contemplated
the most uncommon things

how long
the construction had taken
where the shingles were bought

the wind
in response to my ridiculous thoughts
whispered its opinion

seeing not a marring cloud
nor a tinted bird
the air bore a feeling of rebirth

i found myself wondering
oddly enough
if it's unwavering eye could actually see me

scanning the horizon
partially blocked by
the trees holding up the sky

no insects dared speak
they merely held fast to their twigs
and comtemplated
the most common things

[Mitch]

[color=red] It's good. But not your best. It just doesn't flow as readily and as easily as your earlier works. But, it is still a good poem. Just keep at it! [/color]

[vegeta rocker]

thanks for the crit, i have been getting lazy on that. i will keep at it.