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Jake of Bodom

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  1. [SIZE=4]BEST CONCERT EVER[/SIZE] Okay, wow. 3 Inches of Blood is one absolutely amazingly AWESOME live band. Nicest guys ever too! I talked to one of their vocalists, and he was so excited just to be there! He was really genuine and appreciated everything I had to say. The local bands were awesome too! They're a blast live - some great music. Necrophacus are one of the coolest groups of guys ever. If you ever see their vocalist Grogg at a show or something, be sure to say hi. He's awesome. [URL=www.myspace.com/necrophacus]Here's a link to Necrophacus' Myspace page if you want to check them out.[/URL] There was a hardcore-ish band that wasn't too great called Offered No Escape. They were alright, but hardcore fans out there would probably love 'em. Their really cool people, I'm just not a huge fan of that kind of music. [URL=www.myspace.com/offerednoescape]Here's a link to their myspace if they interest you.[/URL] Blood of the Prophets ripped it up too! Great performance, awesome tunes. You really should check it out - heavy and melodic, sweet stuff. [URL=www.myspace.com/bloodoftheprophets]Here's a link to their myspace if you want to give 'em a listen.[/URL]
  2. Name: Naglfar the Viking Lord Race: Chaos Rank: General Gender: Male Age: 38 Armaments: A Runesword of Khorne (I invented this - just picture something similar to [URL=http://us.games-workshop.com/games/40k/chaosspacemarines/catalog/abaddon.htm]Abbadon's sword[/URL]) and a Runeshield of Khorne (I invented this as well - it's a big ol' shield with runes around the edge and a big gold horned skull in the center). He also has a giant two-handed Khorne-gifted battleaxe strapped across his back. Powers: Wind of Chaos, Daemonfire (I invented this one - it's a column of fire that bursts forth from the palm of the psyker) Appearance: Naglfar is a thick, towering behemoth of a man. To look upon him is to behold the essence of grim and battleworn visage. His armor is black with gold detailing, and he dons a huge, billowing cloak of wolf fur. The spikes that protrude from his shoulderpads and through the cloak are only shadowed by the huge horns that rise from his helm. Personality: Albeit the fact that he is a follower of Chaos, Naglfar has a strong view of honor. For example, he only uses melee weapons because he believes guns to be a dishonorable cop-out. He actually doesn't mind war at all, like any self-respecting Chaos Space Marine, especially since he is a patron of the Blood God Khorne. Background: Naglfar is known as the Viking Lord, a name given to him by Abbadon the Despoiler himself. After the Horus Heresay, Naglfar and his retinue were recognized for their skill in battle. Naglfar and his band of warriors followed a code set by an ancient group of warriors from the Forgotten Age on Terra. These warriors were called the Vikings. Despite their brutality, the Vikings had a true sense of brothership, as do Naglfar's Viking Legion. Thus, Naglfar was named the Viking Lord, and his troop was christened the Viking Legion. Their allegience with Chaos is unstable, as they do not actually worship any of the Gods of Chaos. Khorne offers them gifts because of their prowess in battle, and that is their only tie to Chaos besides some of the effects the Warp had (Naglfar's psyker abilities, for example). An extra note - you may notice that Naglfar's age is only 38, but he was also part of the Horus Heresay, which occurred over 1,000 years ago. Only a few years after the Horus Heresay, the Naglfar and the Viking Legion were sent on a remote mission to take out a Daemonhunter outpost, but where hurled into the depths of the Warp in a major psyker malfunction. Their bodies were held in stasis for more than a thousand years. When they were finally released, they hadn't aged a bit. Therefore, when Naglfar emerged, he was still only 38. Interest in Harkan: Naglfar and his Viking Legion are looking for a world to call their own. Many of the Chaos factions have outposts and planets scattered about, and the Vikings deserve their own. Abbadon has challenged them to take Harkan as their residence. It's a lush planet full of wildlife and raw materials that could severely aid in their pursuit of glory. The most significant reason Abbadon chose Harkan, however, is the fact that it is a planet that is about to enter war - a war between all major races looking to utilize it for their purposes. In the name of blood, glory and honor, the Viking Legion charges toward all opposition. Harkan [I]will[/I] be theirs.
  3. Everyone here should jump in on the new Warhammer 40K: The Paths of War RPG that Rhym posted in the Adventure Inn. Whether or not you're a Warhammer player, this RPG will totally rock. It'll be epic and action packed! Everyone join! PLEASE!
  4. I'm curious as to who everybody's favorite and least favorite vocalists are. [B]Favorite: Mikael Åkerfeldt[/B] Mikael hails from the band Opeth. He's my favorite vocalist because not only does he have the most incredible Death-growl EVER, he can also sing beautifully! Something about his singing is just hypnotic, and his growls are deep and passionate. Plus, he writes the lyrics for Opeth, and the lyrics are just so eloquent... it's true poetry. [I]Spiralling to the ground below Like Autumn leaves left in the wake to fade away Waking up to your sound again And lapse into the ways of misery[/I] [B]Least Favorite: Fred Durst[/B] Fred Durst of Lim Bizkit is my choice for "least favorite" for a few reasons. First off, he's just plain whiny. Seriously, undeniably whiny. I'm talking about his voice here, not the lyrics (which are [I]also[/I] whiny). It's just annoying. He sounds like a 4-year-old who didn't get his ice cream and is throwing a tantrum because of it. Second of all, his lyrics are immature and just plain stupid. Here's an example of his amazing lyrical prowess (an excerpt from the song "I'm Broke"): [I]Cause now it's time to pay the piper Bums are the type of sh!t that's in a diaper Don't make me have to call a sniper[/I] Wow. And finally claimed that Limp Bizkit was a mixture of Hip/Hop and Thrash. Obviously he has no idea whatsoever about what Thrash is. ARGH!
  5. Yes, we must, because pirates friggin' RULE! Anyway, I absolutely love the rule about body oil! :laugh: heh heh, Manowar
  6. Ah, Rhym - Iron Maiden is, in fact, a Power Metal band. You don't need to update the drumming - they friggin' invented the genre. Judas Priest is absolutely amazing! What a band. Great vocals courtesy of Rob Halford and a select few other individuals (one of which is now the vocalist for Iced Earth!), and of course, powerful songs altogether. But alas, Iron Maiden gets my vote here. The duelling guitars, awesome solos, incredible melodies, and awesome album covers ( :animesmil ) will always have my heart. Powerslave is one of my favorite albums of all time, and I just love this band. [font=Verdana][color=blue][b]Edit:[/b][/color][/font] The outcome was as I expected. Alright, here's one consising of two bands that I don't care for. In fact, I absolutely [b]DESPISE[/b] the second band. But alas, they're both very popular, and they're sort of brother bands, so why not. I will make it clear again that I don't like either band, and I particularly HATE the second choice. [b]My Chemical Romance vs. The Used[/b] [font=Verdana][color=blue]Double-posting is now allowed. Just use the edit button next time.[/color][/font] [font=Verdana][color=blue]- Petie[/color][/font]
  7. [QUOTE=are i][COLOR=DarkRed] (Someone's about to say that whoever wrote "45" isn't a nu-metal band... ;) )[/COLOR][/QUOTE] :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: But they aren't! (They're called Shinedown, by the way - and sadly, .45 is their best song.)
  8. Alright, back to real Metal for this one. Both of these are total classics, so let's see which is more popular around OB: [B]Iron Maiden vs. Judas Priest[/B]
  9. :laugh: Yeah, I'll see if I can find one for Emo. I'm doing Black Metal next for sure. I just love this list because I have lots of friends who are Hardcore kids, and the entire thing reminds me of all of them. :laugh: It's all in good humor. I'm not putting these lists up to be mean - I absolutely LOVE Power Metal, and there's one up for that too! This list was probably the truest though. I laughed my ***** off while reading it!
  10. [QUOTE=René][COLOR=Indigo][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial] (it's probably better for the metal community as a whole, in fact, as many people use it as a 'gateway genre' into your 'true metal').[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE] Well, ya got us there. Nu-Metal was my gateway genre into True Metal... I will admit that. It still doesn't make it metal. And it should be called something different, true, but oh well. We know that it's not True Metal, and we can hold on to what we have.
  11. Another 101 Rules Of... post! This one is every bit as spot-on as the Power Metal one! Hilarious! Just don't take it so seriously, and you'll prolly find it funny too, especially if you're a hardcore kid yourself. From [url]www.entertainment.inuk.com/music/genreguides:[/url] 001) Be tough at all times. 002) Never cheer after a show... only clap. 003)Be open minded in a "punch people" kind of way. 004) Only the good hardcore bands have names that are sentences with bad grammar. Ex: Boy Hits Car, Boy Sets Fire, Skycamefalling, Boy Sets Car-fire. 005) Ankles are tough so bring your socks down into your shoes so we can see them. 006) Tattoos are tough especially when they are on your calves. See rule #5 on how to see said tattoo more clearly. 007) Wear your hoodie in the mosh pit because sweating like a wild pig makes you look tough. 008) Don't admit you listen to heavy metal. 009) Exception to rule #8: only admit you listen to heavy metal if you think it is ironic and you wear 80's cheese metal shirts. 010) Be a non-conformist, just like all your friends. 011) Practice hardcore dancing in front of your mirror and then try them out the next time Atreyu comes to town. 012) A hardcore band is only original if you call it something-core. Ex: screamcore, emocore, screamocore, mathcore, or medio-core. 013) Remember, it's fun to punch and kick kung fu style. 014) Keep it in the do-jo. 015) Real hardcore fans are called kids. 016) Complain how hardcore bands are playing with metal bands at all costs! 017) Have your own zine, website, production company, be in a band, or claim you are friends with the singer from Shai Halud. 018) Tell people you work in the music industry. 019) More ankles people! 020) Embrace everybody in the scene except for those people who are not you. 021) Refer to bands as old school or new school and then act tough again. 022) Pretend that you get Dillinger Escape Plan. 023) Shop at second hand stores and then go buy expensive shoes. 024) Beat people up and then go to bible study class. 025) Smoking, drinking, and having sex before marriage is too trendy. Real hardcore tough guys abstain. 026) Whatever you do, don't let the singer on stage ever sing in the mic. Make sure you grab it from him and sing in it yourself. After all, you do a better job singing than him. It's a wonder they didn't put you on the album. 027) Start your own hardcore band. 028) Have your logo resemble some random 80's product for nostalgia. 029) Talk about the scene any chance you get. Say as many obscure hardcore bands from NJ as possible. 030) If you are shy, start an emo band so you don't have to look at the audience. 031) People who know more bands than you are better than you. 032) Add the letter X before and after important words. Ex: XhardcorekidX, XmoshfuckX 033) Never say, "Did you hear the new Strung Out?" unless you are attempting to be funny in which case stop it because hardcore kids are tough not funny. 034) It's merch not merchandise. 035) Hardcore girls must wear head bands at all times. 036) Stretch your ears out to look more intimidating. 037) The bigger you stretch your ears out, the more hardcore you are. 038) Your ears should be stretched out enough to accommodate a block of wood, a hubcap, or a penis. 039) People in the front row are best used as a ladder/staircase to reach your goal... steal the mic away from the singer. 040) When people ask you if you like a band always say, "I only like the old stuff" or "I haven't really gotten into the new stuff." 041) Buy all of that band's merch. 042) Wear your new merch at the next hardcore show. 043) Repeat #41 and #42 044) If you have to wear glasses, make sure they are thick, black framed ones. 045) Don't tell anybody, but make sure you try on your new vintage clothes and stud belt before heading out to see Poison the Well. 046) Never admit you don't like Hatebreed and go see them live 12 times a year. 047) Complain that they are playing with Slayer, but don't admit you actually like Slayer. 048) Complain at all costs. 049) Tag team hardcore dancing is cool. 050) Real hardcore kids are really struggling photographers. 051) You don't go to hardcore concerts, you go to hardcore shows. BIG difference. 052) Name your hardcore dance moves things like "The Mother ****" or "Kick That Guy's *** Move" or better yet... stay home and cry. 053) Protect your body from swinging limbs by sacrificing your two arms. 054) Scream about love. 055) All age venues are important so you are not tempted to drink. 056) Claim you know a guy who knows a guy whose best friend was standing next to the guy who got his *** kicked during Converge, bash the hardcore scene, and then go see The Get Up Kids. 057) Anytime somebody mentions a band always say you know somebody in the band. 058) Wear your pins with honor! Shai Halud, American Nightmare, Minor Threat are the purple heart of valour. 059) Velcro shoes are cool. 060) Don't admit that you have a crush on the singer from Walls of Jericho. If somebody asks, say you respect her as a musician only. 061) Your band name should contain one of the following words: blood, murder, kill, victim and/or butterfly. 062) Print your band name as if it was on a bad printing press. Actual graphics are for posers. 063) Sleep on a portrait painted prettier then everyone. 064) 100 bands from around the world are to play in your city. All of them are the world's best hardcore bands. Every label represented, every hardcore subgenre present. The venue is the best all-ages venue in the world. Tickets are $1.00. It is your job to go around saying the festival should be free. 065) Record producers must make sure to pump the mid because mid is tough. 066) Re-issue your demos after every album. 067) When the band starts playing, everybody join hands and make a big circle so we can watch the big kids play. 068) Crying on stage makes you a professional. 069) Complain some more. 070) Album covers must be made at home on Photoshop by your good friend. 071) If you are from New York, NEVER smile in a promo pic. In fact, always try to cross your arms and look into the camera as if you are going to beat up who ever is looking. 072) If you are from New Jersey, NEVER smile in a promo pic either. In fact, try to look like you just lost your girl friend to the hardcore band from New York. 073) Never admit that emo is country music lyrics mixed with pop rock riffs and marketed by 17 year olds trying to make their friend be the next Dashboard Confessional. 074) American Idol is your worst enemy (but you voted for Ruben). 075) You can get away with glitter on your face as long as your stretched ear plugs are clear. 076) **** beer; got breast milk? 077) Bandanas are cool. 078) Bandanas with big X on them are cooler. 079) Bandanas with big X on them were cool last week, you poser. 080) Your best friend is a guy named XattackX from Jersey who you chat with on MSN everyday. He is coming to see you one day. Really. 081) Chunky breakdowns in your songs are original and you should continue to do them despite every other band doing them which is clearly a rip off of your band. 082) Judge other bands and always compare them to the socio-cultural effects of the band Integrity. 083) Look up socio-cultural in the dictionary and then get offended. 084) Green Day is the real reason you are still alive. 085) Describe your group of friends as "The Scene." 086) Obey the laws of the hardcore scene or forever be banished from the circle. 087) When somebody asks you what is hardcore respond with, "I am hardcore" then punch somebody in the face for looking at you wrong. 088) Keep punching. 089) Kick a little, too. 090) Punch. 091) Add a threat about their mother for good measure. 092) Pretend you won the fight then pickup your dismembered left arm. 093) You are wearing the same thing as the 40-year old gas pump attendant, but for some strange mystical reason you are cooler than he is. 094) Tell everybody that Trustkill Records is too trendy. 095) Did you stop acting tough? I saw you hug that teddy bear. 096) Pierce you tits and tattoo your body. 097) Straight bangs mean straightedge 098) Being vegan means you can't swallow sperm. 099) When in doubt, mock everything. 100) Take everything personally. 101) Assume this list is about you.
  12. A follow-up to the 101 Rules of NuMetal, but this one is actually way funnier! This list is so true, it's freakin' hilarious. Any Power Metal fans (or haters) should get a total kick out of this. From [url]www.metalstorm.ee[/url] 1. You have one goal: be epic. 2. Let no sound be lonely. If there?s a guitar solo, harmonize it. If there?s singing, make it a choir. 3. Keyboards offer a way to add thousands of different textures to a song. Find two of those that you like and use them on every song you write. 4. In a power metal world, everything steel is good, and anything good must be compared to steel. 5. You are not bound to sing about Satan, evil, and/or darkness. 6. You are bound to sing about dragons, freedom, and/or power metal. 7. Remember how no sound should be alone? Same goes for albums. Everything can have a sequel! 8. You are allowed to be blonde. 9. Swords enhance your credibility and your performance. Be sure to carry one regardless of whether or not you know anything about using one. 10. Pick a theme and stick to it. Manowar are warriors of true metal, and they don?t get to sing about anything else. Rhapsody has their Algalord chronicles. Hammerfall has their steel, hammers, and templar. Running Wild has pirates. Blind Guardian has Tolkein. None of them are allowed to sing about anything else. 11. If you have to sing about something else, put together a side project to do it. Avantasia is the perfect model. 12. Ballads are permissible. 13. That doesn?t mean your ballads can suck. 14. The longer a song is, the more epic it is. See rule #1. 15. More solos means more epic. 16. If at all possible, be Michael Kiske. 17. If this is not possible, pretend to be Michael Kiske. 18. Your album cover should include at least one of the following: fire, steel, weird glowing magical items, irregularly muscular men, fists thrust into the air, weaponry, magic creatures (preferably dragons), or bright beams of light around somebody/something. 19. ?Grim? and ?necro? don?t apply here; they just make you look silly. Now go back to singing your 20 minute epic about dragonslaying! 20. Power metal depends on power chords. 21. 16th notes are the only notes. 22. Unless you?re singing, in which case you are not permitted to hold a note for any less than 2 bars. 23. Keyboards get solos, too. 24. If you can?t be Michael Kiske, you can at least be Timo Tolkki. 25. Actually, don?t be Timo Tolkki. 26. In case you didn?t know, ?symphonic? is synonymous with ?epic.? See rule #1. 27. Just because 300 bands before you have already done ?epic,? there?s always room for more. 28. Songs come in two tempos: metal and ballad. 29. You are officially the only group of people who can refer to themselves as ?mighty? without being laughed at. Much. 30. Audiences need to be able to sing along. Make it catchy. 31. Sing in English, even though your fan-base will be comprised entirely of Brazilians, Germans, Japanese, Swedes, and Finns. See rule #30: if it?s not catchy, it?s harder to sing in a language that is not your first. 32. Play in as many bands as possible. More side projects and guest appearances means more epic! 33. Tight. Pants. 34. You don?t have to detune your guitars. 35. Though you probably should drop them a half-step. 36. Unfortunately, you need at least two guitar players. How else are you going to have dueling guitar solos? 37. Keyboards may substitute for one guitar player, as long as they can solo. 38. Fortunately, you don?t need a bass player! Or at least, you never have to use the same bassist twice. 39. Begin all songs with one big swelling chord on the keyboard. 40. Acoustic guitars are allowed. Sometimes. 41. It?s not a tour, it?s a crusade! 42. Layer your vocals, hundreds upon hundreds of times. Don?t worry about them live. 43. Never use mundane words in your lyrics. Nothing is epic if you don?t use words like ?majesty,? ?glorious,? ?magical,? and so on. 44. Wizards! You need wizards! 45. Although your costume does not require corpse paint, it will require a cape, lots of jewelry, and the aforementioned swords. 46. Unless you are Manowar, in which case you are too metal for clothing. 47. Come to think of it, don?t be Manowar. 48. Wear armor if at all possible. Hammerfall can give you an idea of the variety of acceptable armors, ranging from leather to ring-mail. 49. Songs don?t begin at full speed. Gradually work your way into an epic frenzy. 50. Hail true metal! 51. Acoustic guitars are for intros and bridges. Then crush them with steel. 52. Epic. Tight. Pants. 53. Higher vocals are epic vocals. Female lead singers are great for this. 54. So, male lead singes should sound like female singers. See rule #52. 55. True warriors can tell the difference between albums. 56. Concept albums are totally epic. Nobody will ever see it coming. 57. Liner notes must include pages of backstory, either of your epic saga of conquest over dragons and evil or of your epic battles with alcoholism while recording the album. 58. Drugs aren?t metal. 59. Beer, however, can be served in all kinds of true metal ways. 60. ?Flagons of ale.? It?s appropriate to your fantasy-riddled lyrics, and it almost looks like ?dragons,? so you score extra points. 61. Since you can?t get away with grunts, growls, and other troll-like noises, you will have to sing. 62. Your accent will show as a consequence. 63. To compensate, sing about killing trolls. Preferably with the swords that you carry onstage. 64. More sequels = more epic. See rule #7. 65. Guest vocalists, guest guitarists, and any special appearances from outside your band will make your sound more epic, even if the track sounds just like all the other songs on the album with an extra solo. 666. Norsk Arysk Blak Metal! Rahhh!!! 67. Begin songs at half-tempo, and then, when listeners least expect it (i.e. at exactly the same time it happens in all your other songs) kick into full speed complete with double-bass and power chords. 68. Bass players: one note. Really fast. 69. But include one enormous crazy-*** bass fill before the chorus, even though the production will bury you so far in the mix that most people won?t realize your band has a bass player. 70. Just because you don?t play black metal doesn?t mean you can?t use Tolkein. 71. Whenever you short of ideas, pick up your Dungeons and Dragons books. You might as well be the first band to sing about owlbears. 72. Never leave Europe. 73. For purposes of rule #72, Japan may be counted as part of Europe. 74. Oh, and South America was colonized by Europeans, so it can count too. 75. Orchestras make a great addition to your album. Since you can?t afford one, find a new patch on your keyboard. 76. If your live album does not have the crowd singing all the harmony parts for you, you aren?t epic enough to justify a live album. 77. If you are European, use as many archaic English words in your lyrics as you can. Obfuscation is epic! 78. If you are South American, your lyrics should be closer to standard English, though nobody will ever read them. 79. If you are U.S. American, you probably aren?t actually a power metal band. Sing about tanks, or something. 80. If you are Italian, write some lyrics in Latin. Your American fans won?t be able to tell the difference between your Italian lyrics and your Latin ones, but Latin is epic. 81. Remember, shaving is epic, haircuts are not. 82. Entire albums must be recorded in the same key. 83. For that matter, entire careers may also be recorded in the same key. 84. Guitarists, remember: dun da-da dun da-da dun da-da? 85. Make your band logo very angular, but perfectly legible. 86. More than a logo, you need a mascot. 87. He need not be distinguishable from Eddie, but he does need to be on all your album covers. 88. At your first gig, if you feel a ?rising force,? do be sure not to get it all over your audience. 89. Record your best songs unplugged, and sell them as an EP. 90. Do not expect anyone to buy the EP. 91. Remember, power metal fans are not gay. They are just comfortable with their masculinity. 92. Sing along. 93. Don?t get caught singing along. 94. Glitter is not epic. 95. Neither is body oil. See rule #47. 96. If you see a black metaller in the woods pretending to be a troll, see rule #9 and rule #63. 97. In your liner notes, thank everybody you toured with, even if they?re Stratovarius. 98. Complain about Stratovarius constantly even though you?ve bought all their albums and listen to them more than anything else in your collection. 99. Power metal must be pure; do not mix it with other metal styles. 100. To repeat: be epic. 101. I ran out of funny things to say way back at rule #52, but any less than 101 rules would so not be epic.
  13. 0ber0n, I never actually said that Korn wasn't a good band... I'm just not totally partial to their stuff. I never say bands literally "suck", because all bands are actually putting together music, and there is something in all of it for someone (unless you're the Deftones. Then you suck :laugh: j/k). And Metal isn't Rock, as you implied. I've told you this a thousand times! Jeez, 0ber! When will you listen to me? Good point about the Classical influence on Metal (namely Bach and Paganini as you stated). That's something HUGE about Metal that numetal lacks. And I'm sorry my friend, but there's NOTHING Lamb of God-ish about American Head Charge. And Passenger kicks more *** than EVERY other numetal band out there, but that's probably because they're founded and fronted by Anders Friden of In Flames. In fact if you're into numetal or Hard Rock or anything rockin' for that matter, you really should check out Passenger. They're totally awesome. Listen to the song Carnival Diaries, and if you like it, check out In Reverse, and if you like [I]that[/I] check out Circus (it's awesome when it kicks in). Totally kick@ss songs. Passenger is one of the only numetal bands I truly condone. I must wrap this up in the words of 3 Inches of Blood: "Enemies of Metal, your death is our reward! Triumphant victory as you bring the Steel to life!"
  14. 3 Inches of Blood rules - Rhym, 0ber0n, we are SO there! What the hell is up with all these awesome concerts in SLC? Maybe the Apocalypse is coming soon...
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