Writing In need of some headache medicine

[Silent Death]

I wrote this while I was searching for some Asprin.

I'm imprisoned in my own personal Hell
Trapped in my mind cell
Seem to be quiet on the outside
Though screaming in pain on the inside
Let me out!....
The voice in my head continues to shout
As my head continues to beat and bash about
My skull feels as if it's about to burst
Could things get any worse?
What the Hell is this vile curse?
The pain is nauseating
The pain in agonizing
The pain is unbearable
The damable being done is unrepairable
What is this on my mind?
That puts me in such a bind
what is this that hurts me so?
I just don't know
In my desperate search for an asprin
I wound up with a gun in hand
And I've had just about all I can stand
And If this pain in my mind doesn't go away
I'm going to blow my mind A...(Away)
...Dang I missed

[Makai Kite]

Oh! I forgot to reply to this one. For something you wrote while you had a headache... well, I can't think very well when I have a headache, so that's a darn good poem. The only problem I can see with is the spellings. That and around Line 19, the rhyme scheme is interrupted. That may be all right, seeing as how it explains what the whole poem is about, but it just kind of threw me off. But all in all, it's pretty good. Forgive me if this makes no sense. I just woke up at 5:15 for school. I am very tired. The last line is pretty funny. I've been a fan of dark humor for quite some time. Well, that's what I think. Keep in mind that I'm not very good at C&C for poetry, but I am pretty well off when it comes to the skills to write it well.

[Mina]

I found it sorta confusing, but the whole form and structure are good.

[Silent Death]

Thanks for the compliments, I'll keep trying to keep the rhyme scheme going next time.