Writing Different

[Heavyblade]

I really like this poem and are more to come so keep coming back.


Different

I don?t want to go out there
I know they?re waiting
Waiting to see my ruin

They have no problems
Milling in their delusional pictures of happiness
They don?t know what it?s like to be different

Yet on the inside they are all tortured
Tortured by the steel spike of organized society
They drown in their own despair and sorrow as I do

Alas, they keep a smiling face
Putting on a show for those around them
Never showing what they truly feel

I do show what I feel
Which is the cause of my public ridicule
The truth is not what they want to see

For these reasons I am banished
Banished to a life of mockery
A life where even the lowest look down upon me

If I had a chance to start over
I would without question
This life has nothing for me

The days pass slowly
I watch the shadows dance on my wall
Chased by the lights of the city

My time is wasted
All of it is slipping through my fingers
Like trying to catch water

Everything is empty
Everything is pointless
Nothing matters anymore

Hatred burns within me
For those who treat me like dirt
I can?t stand them anymore

I want everything to end
I want nothing more from here
I want it all to be over

It will all be over soon
Darkness envelops me
All is done and gone

They not need come for my body
There will likely be nothing left
But it doesn?t matter anymore
I am different

[Mitch]

[size=1] It's a pretty good poem. Some of the phrases and such throw it off, such as in the last stanza, "They not need come for my body," it'd sound better and easier to cognizance as, "They needn't come for my body," or something to that extent.

Otherwise, I liked how you ended it, with, "I am different." And it began well as well, and flowed very nicely, and was easy to keep into. So yeah. It doesn't have as much imagery as [i]I[/i] like, but that's my personal opinion there. And poetry doesn't have to be like that.

Lately I have been trying to get out of the rut where I seem to always rhyme...my teacher mentioned to me that it lessens the impact of something, and I suppose it does. So your choice not to rhyme in most..if not all...of the stanzas is a fine choice by me.[/size]