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Guest Akabane Kuroudo
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Guest Akabane Kuroudo
Nag Nag
***** *****,
That's all this world is,
This world sucks, Sometimes all i can do,
To stop from hurting other people,
is Hurt myself.
Family is only a word in this eternally damned realm.
Love, is a figment of the imagination.
HATE, is reality.
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[size=1]Hrm. I see in your profile that you're thirteen years old, so you've hit this stage almost exactly on time. Almost every writer goes through this 'angsty' period -- all their writing is dark and depressed and full of doom and gloom.

And that isn't necessarily a [i]bad[/i] thing. Some truely [i]brilliant[/i] poetry has been written in these stages, and some of my favorite poetry I wrote was when I was in my teen angst stage.

It's also good for you, because you can learn and grow in this period. Most writers I know went through this, and their poetry and stories are fabulous.

And once you get past the angst, you start to write happier stories, or get a mix of the two -- believe me, you'll be better for this.


Anyway, onto the poem. Short and sweet, perhaps, although it could have been longer -- to draw the reader into the emotion. There's a powerful statement in there, but it needs to pull the reader in so that they can feel the emotion too.

All in all, it's a neat little poem, but it's so short that the reader doesn't have time to connect with it before the poem ends.

[i]However[/i], I'm very glad you wrote this and posted it on here, for several reasons. The [i]first[/i] is that you're exploring as a writer -- teen angst is often the most personal (and even, in my case, the least true!) of writing.

The second reason is that you've come to this community, and the first place you've posted in is Poetry and Fanfiction -- you've no idea how happy that makes me.

Anyway, when you wrote this, you were most probably angry, or depressed so...cheer up. The teens only last another six years! And teenage angst, well, only about a year.

Gah, I've rambled enough.

You may not have gotten this out of what I've said (I say odd things and confuse even myself), but I did like your poem. Congradulations. You've done well. ^_^[/size]
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did you know teens hate it when you pass all of their emotions off as angst? I would know, I cut and was suicidal for years. It doesn't help. Its just telling them that their pain is less important. If you ever wanna talk, Akabane, email me at [email][email protected][/email]. i almost never check my account here. I'd rather listen to you than my mom, anyway.
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[size=1]I'm not going to argue with you, Samurai. I do know how annoying it is when people pass off your emotions as nothing. But I do have two points to make. (And after them, if you want to continue this discussion, feel free to PM me.) The first, is that when I say 'angst', I mean in the dictionary meaning of the word:

angst
[i]n.[/i]
A feeling of anxiety or apprehension often accompanied by depression.

Which is actually pretty much what most teenagers -- myself included -- feel when their hormones go rampant on them.

The second point, is that I was referring to his poetry. There may have been parts where that was unclear, such as:

[i]Anyway, when you wrote this, you were most probably angry, or depressed so...cheer up. The teens only last another six years! And teenage angst, well, only about a year.[/i]

And I can understand that. The second last sentence referred to the teens being the most hormonally active, and the last sentence was about the teenage angst years, in writing.

I'm sorry if I've offended [i]either[/i] of you by misrepresentations, but seeing as I'm ill, I have a temperature, and I'm not the best at the moment, I'm sure you'll forgive me.

Oh, and just one more point. This [i]is[/i] a Poetry Forum. If Akabane wanted people to sympathise with his emotions -- not his poetry -- he would have gone to the Lounge.

Sorry if, once again, I've come off curt.


Anyway, Akabane, your last two lines remind me of something I dcame up with in [i]my[/i] teen angst stage (which, by the way, I still do on occasions. ^.~):

Happiness is a state of mind, depression is reality.

Heh. Thought I'd share that.[/size]
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[color=sky blue][font=times new roman][b][i]~For the broken heart~

He has become vital,

He has become closer to the heart, mind, and soul,

He is the sould of a broken heart, the tears that sting and cannot be swallowed,

He is the only object of my affection, my closest friend, and oddly enough, comfort for my broken heart,

He does not fail me,
He does not hate,
He does not love,

Only numb, cold, dark, comforts for the broken heart,

He brings peace to this hectic and cruel world of painful reality,

Depression is deemed his name,The name I know by heart,

Depression holds my soul in his faithful arms and shelters me from the agony of love,

.....Comort for my broken heart..

~anima[/color][/font][/b][/i]
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