the_fizz Posted June 3, 2004 Share Posted June 3, 2004 [font=Comic Sans MS][size=4][color=royalblue] Have you ever thought you knew someone, just to find out you only know what they want you to know? :confused: [/color][/size][/font] [font=Comic Sans MS][size=4][color=royalblue] Background info on me and my ex-boyfriend, we dated for about 3 years and are now trying the friend?s thing for the last 3 years or so. He calls every so often when things aren?t going whit his girlfriend (they just broke up, so he says) and I do the same when things are bad for me. We are like an old pair of shoe to each other:bash: . [/color][/size][/font] [font=Comic Sans MS][size=4][color=royalblue] My Problem is last night we started talking about the whole dating thing and I was shocked to hear some of the things he does to get women to go out with him. I am not trying to put all men into a stereotype or anything like that, but why do you guys hide things so much? :confused: [/color][/size][/font] [font=Comic Sans MS][size=4][color=royalblue] I like to think I got a head when it comes to things like this, but I must have lost it this time, because I just don?t see how I missed this in him. I knew he was a ?bad boy? and a dog (no other word for it) when I meet him through my older sis and long time family friend. That is one of the things that attracted him to me (he poured a glass of water over my head, because I dared him too! It was love at first drop. LOL) But, he is just down right shocking:wow: and scandalous:devil:! [/color][/size][/font] [font=Comic Sans MS][size=4][color=royalblue] I?m sorry if this comes across as male bashing (I?m not trying too, I?m just a little mad:flaming: :angry2: :grumble: ), but I hate sh!t like this in you guys. Yes, I know that people hide sh!t from everyone, but if you love someone then should you at least try not, too! Not that what he hid would have made me not want to date him, it is just that to not have even had the idea that he was so undermining at times is what really shocked me. Sh!t I don?t mind it as long as I?m in on it. I hate being clueless!!:confuse2: [/color][/size][/font] [font=Comic Sans MS][size=4][color=royalblue] :huh:I guess what I am try to say is that I would like some feed back on this, both male and female and I am afraid to talk about this with him until I have cooled off:smoke:. Please, help:help: if you can in any way. It will greatly help me decide on how to deal with this. :help: [/color][/size][/font] [font=Comic Sans MS][size=4][color=royalblue] [/color][/size][/font] [font=Comic Sans MS][size=4][color=royalblue]THANKS[/color][/size][/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Midnight Rush Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 Sh!t! That is a lot of Sh!t.... Anyways, are you completely open with your boyfriend? I would bet that you are not whether or not you claim to be. I find this topic hard to understand because you write alot of stuff, but give no real information or a question that can be answered beyond a generalization... I'll give you my generalization- Guys just aren't open like girls... guys are not as vocal. Think about it: When I want to solve a problem, I'll just do it. My friend Jesse's girlfreidn Courtney, all she does with a problem is talk it to hell and back, then she does something. It's just a difference in approach. If you would be so kind as to offer an example, I'd be glad to reasess this thread. [size=1][color=darklbue][b]Please watch your language. People explitives (even though you have selectively blocked out a single letter) is not allowed. Be careful not to do this in the future, as it is inappropriate and against the rules. -Shy[/b][/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_fizz Posted June 4, 2004 Author Share Posted June 4, 2004 [QUOTE=Undefeated]Sh!t! That is a lot of Sh!t.... Anyways, are you completely open with your boyfriend? I would bet that you are not whether or not you claim to be. I find this topic hard to understand because you write alot of stuff, but give no real information or a question that can be answered beyond a generalization... I'll give you my generalization- Guys just aren't open like girls... guys are not as vocal. Think about it: When I want to solve a problem, I'll just do it. My friend Jesse's girlfreidn Courtney, all she does with a problem is talk it to hell and back, then she does something. It's just a difference in approach. If you would be so kind as to offer an example, I'd be glad to reasess this thread.[/QUOTE] [font=Comic Sans MS][size=3][color=royalblue]Sorry about that![/color][/size][/font] [font=Comic Sans MS][size=3][color=royalblue]I am open with him because I can hide sh!t form him. I get all goofy when I try to hide sh!t.[/color][/size][/font] [font=Comic Sans MS][size=3][color=royalblue]I wish I could say he is not vocal; he loves to hear himself talk and brag! :babble: [/color][/size][/font] [font=Comic Sans MS][size=3][color=royalblue]This was about not knowing someone because they are only letting you see what they want you to see. Which I know life is about sometimes. I just didn?t see it. (being blind):cool: [/color][/size][/font] [size=3][color=royalblue][font=Comic Sans MS]As far a an example: He told me he lets to get the ugly girls who wants d!ck, but hides in the corner, because they don't know they want it! Only more vulgar! :devil: [/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=royalblue][font=Comic Sans MS][/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=royalblue][font=Comic Sans MS]Hope that clear it up a little.[/font][/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Midnight Rush Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 Well, talking and being vocal are two very very different things. Being vocal is discussion and heartfelt words that have meaning. Talking and bragging as you put it is just bravado. As far as exploiting ugly girls for sexual favors goes, that is a common practice. I'm not suggesting I partake in that, but I have friends who do.. Gross yeah... but natural. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragonrose Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 Yep, boys are not likely to blab their hearts out. Neither can some girls. We just like keeping some things to ourselves, kinda like a diary. But if he really does something like what you posted in your second post, then that should've never escaped his mouth! :mad: It should've stayed in his weird [I had another word for it, but I don't want to get in trouble by a mod!] little mind. :cool: It may be a common practice like Undefeated said, but it has to be the grossest thing I have ever heard!! Good luck with dealing with this though. :D ~*dragonrose*~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aanallein Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 Well, I'd like to say, from the male perspective, I think that for guys to sit and tell their girlfriend about their pick up moves and their tactics, that they tend to analyze what he did to "get" her. It only leads to bad things. Another thing, as far as a relationship goes, I'm all for honesty, but I don't buy into the "completely open" idea. I know it is nice to think you know everything, but there are parts of you your boyfriend doesn't know and their are parts of him you will not know. That is just the way it goes. As long as their isn't any lying involved, then I can't see where a problem develops, you still can have respect for each other and have a great relationship by not being completely open. Yet, I'd have to refute myself slightly, by saying that there is a certain level of openness that needs to be. Well, that's just my feelings on things. :shrugs: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xander Harris Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 First of all, fizz, let me say I love your use of smilies :cool: Second of all... [QUOTE=the_fizz][font=Comic Sans MS][size=4][color=royalblue] [font=Comic Sans MS][size=4][color=royalblue] I like to think I got a head when it comes to things like this, but I must have lost it this time, because I just don?t see how I missed this in him. I knew he was a ?bad boy? and a dog (no other word for it) when I meet him through my older sis and long time family friend. That is one of the things that attracted him to me (he poured a glass of water over my head, because I dared him too! It was love at first drop. LOL) But, he is just down right shocking:wow: and scandalous:devil:! [/color][/size][/font] [font=Comic Sans MS][size=4][color=royalblue] [/color][/size][/font] [font=Comic Sans MS][size=4][color=royalblue]THANKS[/color][/size][/font][/QUOTE] Well, if 'bad boys' is what you are attracted to, than guess what: They will be bad. This may have left you confused and mad about males, but your post has made me mad and confused about females. Again and again I see this trend, of girls going out with bad people who just want to exploit them. They know at the outset that the person is 'bad'. They know at the outset that the guy has 'been around' and had sex and sexual favors. And then when the girl gets burned she acts shocked and scandalized. Here's a novel idea: if you don't want to be exploited, don't date exploitative people. But no; some girls just don't feel excited enough (or somesuch) by nice guys, so they go after the 'bad boys' and the next thing they know they have lost their virginity and have diseases and emotional devestation. I sort of feel bad for girls like that,but on the other hand I feel like they get what they deserve. Also, there are some guys who act nice, but are really exploitative (some girls, too. I sat with a guy at lunch this year who was perplexed because he had sex with his girfriend, and she was acting like 'it was some big deal'. This girl gave everything she could give to him, and he thought of her the way he would view a car, or a kleenex. Newsflash: sex is a big deal. So what's the point of everything I've said? Be wise when deciding who to give your heart to. Remember that true love requires commitment, not just sex. Be careful, girls, and think with your brains (not your hormones), and your likelihood of being burned is greatly lessened. All that said, my advice to you, Fizz, is to go punch that SOB's lights out ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ScirosDarkblade Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 Well I'd have to agree with the above post almost entirely. If you date a guy and he turns out to be an @$$hole, well guess what what means? It means you dated an @$$hole. That's all it means. It's stupid to ask "why do you guys do that?" in relation to what you described. It would be like me whining about an ex-girlfriend, talking about how much of a controlling and stubborn ***** she was, and saying "why are you girls stubborn and contolling bitches?" If you don't mean to say that "men are pigs" then don't. Also a lot of girls are NOT more vocal than guys when it comes to a number of things. Many are not vocal about anything at all. You can't make any generalizations here. I don't know how many times girls have gotten angry at their boyfriends because the guys didn't notice all of the "signals" (which are encrypted with a code only females can understand half the time) the girls have been "communicating" to them about a problem they think they have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_fizz Posted June 4, 2004 Author Share Posted June 4, 2004 [font=Times New Roman][size=4][color=royalblue]Sorry if this is a really long post, but to save spam propblems I'm going to relpy this way. Hope I did not over look anyone.[/color][/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman][/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman][QUOTE=Undefeated]Well, talking and being vocal are two very very different things. Being vocal is discussion and heartfelt words that have meaning. Talking and bragging as you put it is just bravado.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman]As far as exploiting ugly girls for sexual favors goes, that is a common practice. I'm not suggesting I partake in that, but I have friends who do.. Gross yeah... but natural.[/QUOTE][/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman][color=royalblue]Very good point.[/color] [/font][/size][font=Times New Roman][size=3] :) [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman][QUOTE=dragonrose]Yep, boys are not likely to blab their hearts out. Neither can some girls. We just like keeping some things to ourselves, kinda like a diary. But if he really does something like what you posted in your second post, then that should've never escaped his mouth! It should've stayed in his weird [I had another word for it, but I don't want to get in trouble by a mod!] little mind. It may be a common practice like Undefeated said, but it has to be the grossest thing I have ever heard!! Good luck with dealing with this though. [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman]~*dragonrose*~[/QUOTE][/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman][color=royalblue]Do tell! Do tell! What the word for it?:confused: :confused: :confused: [/color][/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman][QUOTE=Aanallein]Well, I'd like to say, from the male perspective, I think that for guys to sit and tell their girlfriend about their pick up moves and their tactics, that they tend to analyze what he did to "get" her. It only leads to bad things. [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman]Another thing, as far as a relationship goes, I'm all for honesty, but I don't buy into the "completely open" idea. I know it is nice to think you know everything, but there are parts of you your boyfriend doesn't know and their are parts of him you will not know. That is just the way it goes. As long as their isn't any lying involved, then I can't see where a problem develops, you still can have respect for each other and have a great relationship by not being completely open.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman]Yet, I'd have to refute myself slightly, by saying that there is a certain level of openness that needs to be. [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman]Well, that's just my feelings on things. :shrugs:[/QUOTE][/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman][color=royalblue]True! True! I hear you on the certain level of openness. That is really all I am asking for. I don?t want to know everything, all the time, which would be unreal.[/color] :rolleyes: [/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font][size=3][font=Times New Roman][QUOTE=Xander Harris]First of all, fizz, let me say I love your use of smilies [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman]Second of all...[/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3] [/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman]Well, if 'bad boys' is what you are attracted to, than guess what: They will be bad. This may have left you confused and mad about males, but your post has made me mad and confused about females. Again and again I see this trend, of girls going out with bad people who just want to exploit them. They know at the outset that the person is 'bad'. They know at the outset that the guy has 'been around' and had sex and sexual favors. And then when the girl gets burned she acts shocked and scandalized. Here's a novel idea: if you don't want to be exploited, don't date exploitative people. But no; some girls just don't feel excited enough (or somesuch) by nice guys, so they go after the 'bad boys' and the next thing they know they have lost their virginity and have diseases and emotional devestation. I sort of feel bad for girls like that,but on the other hand I feel like they get what they deserve.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman]Also, there are some guys who act nice, but are really exploitative (some girls, too. I sat with a guy at lunch this year who was perplexed because he had sex with his girfriend, and she was acting like 'it was some big deal'. This girl gave everything she could give to him, and he thought of her the way he would view a car, or a kleenex.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman]Newsflash: sex is a big deal.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman]So what's the point of everything I've said? Be wise when deciding who to give your heart to. Remember that true love requires commitment, not just sex. Be careful, girls, and think with your brains (not your hormones), and your likelihood of being burned is greatly lessened.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman]All that said, my advice to you, Fizz, is to go punch that SOB's lights out [/QUOTE][/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman][color=royalblue]Thanks:D [/color][/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman][color=royalblue]Maybe I should have defined what I meant when I said he was a ?bad boy?. He was not ?bad? in the a$$h0le way, he was just like, how should I put it?. He was in a band, smoked, and drank, but he show no signs of being an a$$h0le. Like I said I like to think I got a good head when it comes to real a$$h0les and I avoid them, most times. [/color][/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3][color=royalblue]I will give it up for all the ?good guys? out there, but most of them are to shy or taken, to find. And yes I know girls can do the same stuff to guys out there, but I think it is?.. Wrong on both parts. [/color][/size][/font] [size=3][font=Times New Roman][color=royalblue]I am! I am going with the punches it is just that awakening:sleep: to something like this really shocked me. Silly girl thing:blush: . Even the smartest and open people get bewildered:eek: sometimes.[/color] [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman][QUOTE=ScirosDarkblade]Well I'd have to agree with the above post almost entirely. [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman]If you date a guy and he turns out to be an @$$hole, well guess what what means? It means you dated an @$$hole. That's all it means. It's stupid to ask "why do you guys do that?" in relation to what you described. It would be like me whining about an ex-girlfriend, talking about how much of a controlling and stubborn ***** she was, and saying "why are you girls stubborn and contolling bitches?" If you don't mean to say that "men are pigs" then don't.[/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman] [/font][/size] [size=3][font=Times New Roman]Also a lot of girls are NOT more vocal than guys when it comes to a number of things. Many are not vocal about anything at all. You can't make any generalizations here. I don't know how many times girls have gotten angry at their boyfriends because the guys didn't notice all of the "signals" (which are encrypted with a code only females can understand half the time) the girls have been "communicating" to them about a problem they think they have.[/QUOTE][/font][/size] [font=Times New Roman][size=3][color=royalblue]I not really whining about this I am just venting:flaming: and I need some feed back on how to confront him with this sh!t as a friend and not a girlfriend.[/color][/size][/font] [color=royalblue][size=4][font=Times New Roman]Most of you guys are really helping believe it or not. [/font][font=Times New Roman]So I want to THANK everyone and say this has been enlightening and keep it coming.[/font][/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 [color=#707875]Um, guys...you do know that bypassing the censor with special text is against the rules, don't you? Just checkin'. As far as confronting him goes...I guess I'm still not clear as to why you'd even want to do that. It seems to me that this guy is not really worth anyone's time -- let alone yours. As a male, [i]I [/i]don't understand that kind of behavior. The whole "guys aren't as open" type thing is a bit of an excuse I think. It's not like men can just make up excuses for their awful behavior and say "well, it's because I'm a guy and guys are like that". It's not about guys or girls, it's about good behavior versus bad behavior, in my opinion. I have never understood the whole cheap pick-up line thing, or the various tricks that people apparently use to get women to sleep with them. The whole thing is just way out there for me -- it's not something I'd even consider doing. And I find it completely petty anyway. So that's coming from a male...and I know there are many other men who feel the same way. Maybe that helps to provide a little perspective on the male end of the situation.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Midnight Rush Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 Hey James... nice Mia Wallace avi and banner. By the way I didn't use symbols to bypass fo ranything more than to tease the fizz... I agree with James. Waiting for mods to get mad.... Waiting... Waiting... Ok that was corny. Anyways, it is bad behavior vs. good behavior. I am a guy, and I don't use "tricks" to get women to sleep with me. Mostly they don't work (not that I would know), but it seems a little cheap. In terms of vocality, it is true, but its sorta like dyslexia: over-"diagnosed". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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