the worst/funniest pickup lines

[mary no jutsu]

well post the funiest pickuplines youve ever heard.

did you just fart cause you just blew me away

are those space pants your wearing cause that *** is out of this world.

and one for the band geeks: i'm a fermata hold me

[Otohime]

Get your cadigan granny: you've pulled!
Did you break your hip when you fell from heaven.

Maybe I should find some chat up lines that are not aimed at old people...

[instantramen14]

"The word of the day is legs. Let's go to your house and spread the word."

[Oceanborn]

**As old as good, the last one. =^.^=

[Tatsubei Yagyu]

[COLOR=Navy][FONT=Comic Sans MS]"You don't happen to work at UPS, do you? 'Cause I coulda swore you were [B]checkin' out my package!!![/B]"

From, 8-Bit Theater. Google it if you like Final Fantasy. ;) [/FONT][/COLOR]

[Raiyuu]

[font=Trebuchet MS]A fairly witty, but still pretty awful, chat-up line I learned the other day:

[b]"If sexy were people, then you'd be China."

[/b]Hey, whaddya know, you actually have to think about that one. Cheers Stu-sensei.

Then there are the classics that I'm surprised no one's mentioned yet:

[b]"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

"I've forgotten my number, can I have yours instead?"

[/b]I've actually heard someone use that last one. I laughed so hard...
[/font]

[Stuart]

[SIZE=1][COLOR=Royalblue][B]"I hate sand. It's so... sandy, but you, you are not sandy and that is why I love you"[/B]

I say this to random girls and friends ALL the time. They love it, lol.[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[Momiji Love]

[SIZE=1][B]I think I might be gay,can you prove me wrong?

If sexy was a blade of grass,you'd be a pasture.

Guy: Do you like bacon?
Girl: Yes
Guy: Wanna strip?[/B]

These are only two of a bajillion or so on [URL=http://www.pickuphelp.com/]Pickup Help[/URL]

Some are real corny,others are good and the rest are sorta racy.

Enjoy! ^^[/SIZE]

[Box Hoy]

My favorite. It has a little action in it too...

Point to the girl and motion with the finger for her to come to you.
She walks over.
You say "Hey, if I got you to come over here with one finger, imagine what I can do with all five"

[Otohime]

"I'm lost; can you take me home?"

Boy: "Sophie, Sophie; last time I saw you, you were a tall thin guy with a mustache"
Girl: 'I'm not Sophie...'
Boy: "Sophie, Sophie; last time I saw you, you were short, fat and had a beard!"
Girl: 'I'm not Sophie okay!?'
Boy: "Wow, you've changed your name too!"
Okay, okay, it may not be a chat up line, but it may get you beaten up for using it:p!

"I see you're a tictac smuggler too..."

"Please excuse my shyness. It always happens when I'm around beautiful people"

*Sigh* what is the world coming to hey?

[Skye]

Ooo, pikc-up lines! Fun!

[b]"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?"[/b]

That is my favorite of all. :)

[b]"Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you."[/b]

I usually know tons of these, but I'm coming up blank today...

[Lord Dante]

If i said you weren't that bad looking for a human, would you disembowl me?

[Vampire_Miyu285]

this is the worst pick=up line i've heard, and the oldest:

Boy: hey are you an angel?
Girl: No.
Boy: cuz you just fell out of heaven.


some guy said that to me and i slapped him across the face :devil:

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=darkviolet]Oh, pick up lines, I know some funny ones:

[b]I lost my number can I have yours?[/b] I've never been asked that one

[b]Nice pants, how do I get into them?[/b]- Thankfully that has never been asked of me either.

This is a very original one that happened the other night at my job, and of course it's a whole story. It all started when I went outside:

Me: Damn, the door's locked!

Dave (comes around the courner getting ready to have a cigarette): What's wrong? (This guy barely talks unless he's around me)

me: The door's locked, I need to get back in (in my spaceyness I never considered going around the other way)

Dave: Okay *pulls out his key card* (he's a regular employee I'm a temp) Bob's in there right now do you really want him to see you coming in? (bob's the surpervisor)

Me: I'll just tell him I was smoking

Dave: But you don't smoke

Me: Well, we can pretend right? *I try to look cute-at least that's what I thought. I'm not much of a flirt I just talk to anyone)

Dave: Too bad you don't work over in my area I could come over and bother you more often.

Yes folks, that was the pick up line. I did talk to him again today so who knows maybe after this divorce thing is setteled....[/color]

[Kenji]

alright here we go
[B]Is that a mirror in your pockets cause I can surely see myself in those pants.[/B]

Guy:[B] Are you tired?[/B]
Girl:[B] Why?[/B]
Guy:[B] Cause you've been running in my mind all day[/B]

Guy:[B] Do you have 25 cents[/B]
Girl:[B] Why[/B]
Guy:[B] My mom always told me to call her when I fell in love[/B]
wow that shows how old I am considering that's supposed to be when pay phones cost 25 cents

[Akieen Cloud]

Okay first off, Box Hoy, your's was the best I've read so far..taht one is horrid. LOL but funny.

Here's mine.

[B]"I wonder, is your father a thief, cause I wanna know who took the stars from the skies and put them in your eyes."

"I only have two eyes, and their all over you."

"If girls are made of sugar and spice, can I eat you?"

"I'm feeling really down, could you help me perk up?"

"If I tell you my girlfriend just died, would you help me feel 'better'?"

"I you say 'Bite me' are you being serious?"

"If men are dogs, can I be your pet?"[/B]

[Dragon Warrior]

[QUOTE=Hack Helba][SIZE=1][COLOR=Royalblue][B]"I hate sand. It's so... sandy, but you, you are not sandy and that is why I love you"[/B]

I say this to random girls and friends ALL the time. They love it, lol.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/QUOTE]

That's from the Star Wars animation I saw on Flashplayer. It was the best part of that whole show (which wasn't too funny, sadly :( ).

I'm the master of pickup lines, but I only want to give up a few...

"Excuse me, I'm a treasure hunter, may I investigate your chest?"

"I have lost my virginity, may I take yours?"

"How about you and me go back to your place, have a party and invite your pants down."

Believe it or not, I use these. For fun, of course. But what if it actually worked? O.o

[Knuckles]

Tell a girl to "Come here." Don't make any motions with your body.
When she gets to you say, "I guess I'm good if I can make you cum with my mouth."

Look at a girl and say, "Heaven must be missing an angel."

"If look could kill, you'd be the last one alive."

"If beauty was power, you'd rule the world."

[Cyriel]

[SIZE=1][COLOR=Purple]The beginning sucks, but [I]read this the whole way through![/I]

"Wow, did heaven lose a couple of angels? 'Cause I can see them bouncing around inside your blouse."

Yeah, I never said I recommended it - it's a good way to get castrated, boys. ^_~[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[Lostcause]

Here are just a few:

"Umm, screw me if I'm wrong, but is your name Pochantos?"

"Did you happen to lose your virginity, cause I'd love to have the box it came in."

"Nice shoes, wanna screw?"

okay, so thats all i can remember from jamie. That right there folks is what you get when you stick a bunch of theatre kids in a room, and very bored, along with the fact they are all horny teenagers.

found dem.. srry bouts that

"Do you know the difference between a B.J. and a hamburger?" (response is no) "Well in that case, do you wanna do lunch?"

"I know a great way to burn off the calories in that cake you just ate."

"That's a nice shirt, can I talk you out of it?"

(this one is for the younger children among us)

"There's this movie I wanted to see, and my mom asid I couldn't go by myself."

"Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner."

"Drop'em!"

"Excuse me. Do you wanna screw, or should I apologize?"

"Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?"

(For the ugly such as I)

"Be unique and different, say yes."

"Funny you should mention that, I was a gynecologist once."

[Goodbye, Face]

We had a project in school where we had to make a list of something. My partner decided to do a list of the top 50 worst pick-up lines. I don't have the list, but I remember what graced the number one spot:

"If you were my homework, I'd be doing you on my desk right now."

I'll have to bother my friend for the rest of them.

[Azure Rose]

[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue]Oh man, really bad pickup lines are just about my favorite thing on the planet! This is my favorite of the more mainstream ones I've heard:

[B]"Excuse me, but do you have a band aid? I scraped my knee when I fell for you."[/B]

And these, my friends and I made up when we were taking chemistry sophomore year. They're chemistry themed pick up lines, hehehe:

[B]"I'll be your cation if you'll be my anion"

"Baby, you charge my ions."

"What's a nice guy like you doing in a lab like this?"[/B]

And one slightly more risque history themed one:

[B]"Babe you seem like the dictator type, why not invade me?"[/B]

Lol, wow, we had a lot of fun with those. I think if a guy knowlingly used a really bad pickup line on me I'd probably go out with him, just because it would make me laugh. [/COLOR]

[Lostcause]

[QUOTE=Azure Rose][COLOR=DarkSlateBlue]

[B]"I'll be your cation if you'll be my anion"

"Baby, you charge my ions."

"What's a nice guy like you doing in a lab like this?"[/B]
[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

KICK ARSE FOR CHEMISTRY LAME LINES. Is it sad that school is starting up in about a month, and i STILL know what all those are. I'm a sucker for chemistry.

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=darkviolet]Here's some really bad ones and their explainations:

[b]So you take riding lessons? Care to ride me?[/b]- I heard that once in College. You have to understand that [i]anyone[/i] can get into a community college so you get a lot of stupid people.

[b]Hey if I give you a dollar will you go out with me?[/b] :mad: I was auctioned for charity back in college (that's how I met a few of my friends that I don't know what happened to) this dumb guy in my english class asked me that question the same day. Any further explaination will be forwarded to the previous explaination. But trust me it would have taken more than just one dollar for me to go out with him.

[b]Hey can we be friends? Can I have your number?[/b]- This [i]married[/i] guy asked me that question on my second day there. I tried to tell him I wasn't interested, I had to go with my next best answer. I'm not currently seeking applications.

No more I can't take it! [/color]

[gaarasgirl90]

[COLOR=DarkRed][FONT=Fixedsys]Some big ugly kid from wrestling that I had never seen before asked me and this other girl the stupidest pick up line.

"Are you two from Tennessee? Cause You're the only ten's I see."[/FONT][/COLOR]