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Writing Mirror Juxtapose [PG]


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Not much to say here, just a poem I wrote recently that I really liked and hope that someone will comment on it. Read it slowly.

[COLOR=DarkRed][center][B]Mirror Juxtapose[/B]

Standing to the mirror
Juxtaposed to shadow world
Mental eclipse
Reflected self
Refracted colors
Judgmental looks passed
Dried eyes glare at themselves
Seeing it sees you
Left shadow?s right
Seems to be another
Just you alone there
With you
But those thoughts never occur

Standing to the mirror
Touch your hand
But they are different
The mimic
How well it knows you

Flip your soul
Now you understand
Standing to the mirror
Standing to yourself
Juxtaposed to opposites[/center][/COLOR]
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In the 12 line of the poem, "with you", seems to be unnecessary. In the second and fourth line I understood that you were in this "shadow world" because you were standing next to it and it was reflecting you. It just seems like you were trying to fill up the line with something that rhymed. I suggest you get rid of that line or fill in something else.

In the line "But they are different," I don't quite understand with whom "they" are.

In the last line "Juxtaposed to opposites" escaped me for a few minutes, but after reading and rereading the poem and that line, I really like it. This poem is really good and I am able to visualize these images. That's what I like to do when I read a poem. Good job and nice work. I look forward to reading some more of your talent.
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