O' Forgotten Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 This is my first poem on OB. I hope you guys like it. Reply with some comments for changes if you see some that are needed. [B]"Watch As We Fall Apart"[/B] Tonight will be the final departure Of a love once lost upon the mountain Now as we decend into the ashes of what was lost so long ago My eyes closed tight upon the impact of sanity Everything we ever wanted to become All the times we spent in this unholy deadlock This black vice lingers over my head A new requiem for this dreaming soul A new song for the masses of passing wandering men A turn of the page of the book of redemption Now I shall watch as the two of us become broken Shards of the love we once shared upon this snow-capped mountaintop Dropping faster and faster as the tears begin to shed A branding of the eyes of the bystanders Now as they stare I become entombed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2010DigitalBoy Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 Wow... that was pretty darn good! I'm not quite sure I fully understand... did the guy kill himself from insanity over lost love? You'll have to tell me what it'a about. I'd really like to see more by you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
O' Forgotten Posted April 27, 2006 Author Share Posted April 27, 2006 Hah, thanks. I'm flattered. And yes, you were spot on with the analysis. I'll probably have more up on here soon. Thanks again for the comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now