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my new fanfic (tell me what you think)


BondFanatic
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Ok, I'm going to try a new fanfic here. This one has a fantasy plot, because most of the RPGs/Fanfics I've done recently are Anime.

In the mountainous regions of a land far away, a mysterious race of half elves, half humans live in secrecy, hidden away from the world. They are called Veranders, (pronounced Vehr-and-urs). The Veranders live without contact with pure humans, choosing to ignore them and carry on with their lives. They live alone, except for one other race: The Ghwraiths, (pronounced gwuh-raiths). The Gwraiths are dark beings who use Dark Magic to conquer the land. The Veranders have no magic, so they must constantly move from area to area to escape the Gwraiths. However, one Verander has happened upon a magic gem that allows him to use magic and combat the Gwraiths. His name is Cevalo. In finding the gem, his destiny has been written. He must fight the Gwraiths and save his people. This is the story of Blackworld.
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Here are the main character descriptions.

Cevalo
Race: Verander
Age: 15
Description: A short Verander, he is the main character. He posesses the Gem of Boritka, which allows him to use magic against the Ghwraiths.

Grevatin
Race: Verander
Age: 57
Description: Cevalo's father, he looks exactly the same, but taller. He is a farmer, and holds a high position in the society. He is killed later in the story by a Ghwraith.

Sessanna
Race: Verander
Age: 56
Description: The mother of Cevalo and wife of Grevatin, she lives a moderate life. She leaves the village after Grevatin is killed.

Heraghadt
Race: Verander
Age: 15
Description: This Verander pretends to be Cevalo's friend, but is actually working for the Ghwraiths. He reveals the location fo the Verander village to the Ghwraiths.

Soonfrai
Race: Ghwraith
Age: Unknown
Description: This merciless Ghwraith does not even care for his family. He is a mindless soldier who thinks about nothing but killing. He serves under the Ghwraith King, Bartto.

Gerhg
Race: Ghwraith
Age: Unknown
Description: This Ghwraith is the first to attack Cevalo after he finds the Gem of Boritka. He is changed by a blast from the gem, and changes his ways. He then protects Cevalo wherever he goes.

Bartto
Race: Ghwraith
Age: 76,000
Description: This old Ghwraith is over 70,000 years old and has controlled all the Ghwraiths with his magic. He is the ruler of all the Ghwraiths, and longs to find the Gem of Boritka, which would allow him to control every single being on the Earth.

Now, these are the main characters. I'm not going to put all the characters, because I wouldn't have enough space. Cevalo's village has a population of about 6000.
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  • 2 weeks later...
Blackworld
Prologue

"Cevalo? Where are you?" "Here, Mother." A short elf-like creature walked out of some bushes to find himself facing a creature that looked the same, only shorter. "Yes, Mother?" "Heraghadt is here to see you." "Alright! He's finally here!" Cevalo walked towards the stone dwelling that was a few feet away. He pulled the wooden gate open, and walked towards the door. As he reached for the handle, something jumped at him and tackled him to the ground. "Heraghadt! You're back!" Cevalo's friends Heraghadt, who was a Verander just like him, had been gone for the past few months. Him and six other members of his family had gone on a hunting trip. "So, did you catch anything?" "Yes, we caught several small animals, but our main ctahes were three beautiful young deer. We're really proud of them. We caught enough game for the whole village to feast on, so we talked to the Elders, and there's going to be a banquet tonight!" "Well, let's go and prepare!" "Yes, let's." As Cevalo and Heraghadt walked away from the house, a bright blue gem floated out from behind a tree and flew into Cevalo's pocket. He didn't notice it.
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