What

[eleanor]

[QUOTE=Nerdsy]
I had an internet relationship when I was 14. Did I think it was something special? No. I realized we were two kids who had never actually met. What we had was [i]nice[/i], don't get me wrong, and if I could go back and change it I wouldn't.

Was it because of anime? Yes, but only because we found each other through OB; we never really talked about anime in any great detail. We merely connected.[/QUOTE]

[quote name='indifferent']Again, why pathetic? Why are we limiting these teens to have only relationships with people they can meet face to face? Why are we labeling them as pathetic? And at the age this thread is referring to finding friends or dating someone with similar tastes even if it's online is pretty normal. Especially if you live in a community, say like mine, where a lot of parents believe anime is nothing but porn. So finding someone online who likes it too is a big attraction to a lot of kids around here.[/quote]

[color=dimgray] Just to make it clear for everyone- I'm talking about teenagers who are just out there and have 'online girlfriends/boyfriend' [i]because they want one[/i]. Not because they really [i]do[/i] find each other's company nice, but because they want to say "I date".

Does it happen in real life? Yes. Middle school is notorious for it. I just think it's more common in online dating, because it also happens to be more convenient. [/color]

[oscarX]

Gaiaonline.com I have seen in there forums gaia marriges you cant say that is not pathetic there getting fake marrige IS the most pathetic thing I have ever seen online next to cyber sex.

[QUOTE=Lunox][color=dimgray] Just to make it clear for everyone- I'm talking about teenagers who are just out there and have 'online girlfriends/boyfriend' [i]because they want one[/i]. Not because they really [i]do[/i] find each other's company nice, but because they want to say "I date".

Does it happen in real life? Yes. Middle school is notorious for it. I just think it's more common in online dating, because it also happens to be more convenient. [/color][/QUOTE]
i agree just kids wanting to have an online girl or boyfriend thats what im talking about

[QUOTE=indifference][COLOR=DarkRed]Why? Why is online dating dumb? Or rather why do you think it is? And I don't buy the bit about the ones that annoy you in chat rooms. A handful of irritating kids is hardly enough to base an opinion of they are all dumb and pathetic on.

Also, it's already been addressed but sticking to only meeting people in real life doesn't guarantee that the person you are dating is safe. If anything, a strictly online relationship and such a young age, especially if no information as to where you live and such is given out is probably quite a bit safer than a normal one. It's a little hard to assault someone through a screen and if they get verbally abusive you just ignore them. Much easier than dealing with one of those sex offenders if you were dating them face to face.Again, why pathetic? Why are we limiting these teens to have only relationships with people they can meet face to face? Why are we labeling them as pathetic? And at the age this thread is referring to finding friends or dating someone with similar tastes even if it's online is pretty normal. Especially if you live in a community, say like mine, where a lot of parents believe anime is nothing but porn. So finding someone online who likes it too is a big attraction to a lot of kids around here.The same is true of a person you meet in real life. People cheat, steal, rape and murder. Meeting them face to face is no guarantee that you really know what they are like.

Honestly, if kids are dating online at a young age, so long as they aren't giving personal information such as addresses and real names and such out. I just don't see what the fuss is. Even if they are bugging you in chat rooms. Just find another chat room or take advantage of the handy ignore button or block sender function that many of them have. [/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Would you back your friend up if he or she was saying I got a special someone .youll ask who it is theyll say i dont know. seriously having nothing but strict online relationships is not good if you fially get a real one your confidence will go down. I really dont see how I would back anyone up for dating omeone online and never meeting them. I wouldnt want to date anyone who might be a guy im a straight guy and a guy acting like a blond girl just creeps me out.
[SIZE=3][INDENT][COLOR=RoyalBlue][B]oscarX,[/B] you have already been warned about not double posting and having better quality. Using something like word or hotmail to spell check one's posts is a must. Members who continue to break the rules are candidates for a ban. ~SunfallE[/COLOR][/INDENT][/SIZE]

[Nerdsy]

[color=deeppink]But... don't most relationships, on the net or off it, exist because somebody [i]wants[/i] it to? Wanting a boyfriend or girlfriend is pretty much a prerequisite for dating, and it's certainly not pathetic.

As far as not enjoying each other's company... they have to enjoy it on some level, or they wouldn't interact with each other. I'd even say it's more likely to be "for the sake of dating" if it happens in person, [i]especially[/i] in the early teens. How many Jr. High/High schoolers date because they either want to improve their social status or simply because the other person looks good?

I say that's harder to do online, because not only does it take away the popularity factor (due to it being mostly looked down upon), one is much less likely to enter into a relationship based soley on appearance.[/color]

[quote name='oscarx'] I have seen in there forums gaia marriges you cant say that is not pathetic there getting fake marrige IS the most pathetic thing I have ever seen online next to cyber sex.[/quote]

[color=deeppink]lol!

You're really in the wrong place if you want support for that statement. Most of our members have had fake marriages at one time or another. that's a trend that's not going away any time soon.[/color]

[DeadSeraphim]

[quote name='oscarX']Gaiaonline.com I have seen in there forums gaia marriges you cant say that is not pathetic there getting fake marrige IS the most pathetic thing I have ever seen online next to cyber sex.[/quote]
[size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]I've never seen an online marriage that wasn't a jokey thing, in fun. You're chiding people on taking online relationships too seriously and telling them they're pathetic, then being so Goddamn serious you fail to take a joke. Lighten up, dude.[/font][/color][/size]

[SunfallE]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue][quote name='oscarX']Gaiaonline.com I have seen in there forums gaia marriges you cant say that is not pathetic there getting fake marrige IS the most pathetic thing I have ever seen online next to cyber sex.[/quote]*points to her signature* Thank you for failing to understand something that is merely done for fun and for calling me pathetic as well. :animesigh Honestly do you even get the point of these fake marriages? As others have said, they're just for fun and nothing more. What's pathetic is your failure to understand a joke between friends and taking things out of context since most people who have fake online marriages aren't serious about it at all, myself included.

The same is true of online dating. It's mostly just for fun. So try to lighten up a little here.[quote name='oscarX']i agree just kids wanting to have an online girl or boyfriend thats what im talking about[/quote]So what? What's wrong with it, again most of the time it's just for fun so who cares? I fail to understand why it even bothers you in the first place.[QUOTE=oscarX]Would you back your friend up if he or she was saying I got a special someone .youll ask who it is theyll say i dont know. seriously having nothing but strict online relationships is not good if you fially get a real one your confidence will go down. I really dont see how I would back anyone up for dating omeone online and never meeting them. I wouldnt want to date anyone who might be a guy im a straight guy and a guy acting like a blond girl just creeps me out.
[/QUOTE]I can and I would. I've been around long enough that I know people who met online and eventually met in real life and got married. And to this day are still married. Happily I might add.

Dating strictly online isn't as bad as you're making it out to be. And contrary to what you think they can and do develop into real relationships. And worrying about someone turning out to be a guy is pointless. After all there are guys in real life who dress up as women and date other guys without telling them. That sort of thing is not limited to the internet you know. [/COLOR]

[oscarX]

[QUOTE=SunfallE][COLOR=RoyalBlue]*points to her signature* Thank you for failing to understand something that is merely done for fun and for calling me pathetic as well. :animesigh Honestly do you even get the point of these fake marriages? As others have said, they're just for fun and nothing more. What's pathetic is your failure to understand a joke between friends and taking things out of context since most people who have fake online marriages aren't serious about it at all, myself included.

The same is true of online dating. It's mostly just for fun. So try to lighten up a little here.So what? What's wrong with it, again most of the time it's just for fun so who cares? I fail to understand why it even bothers you in the first place.I can and I would. I've been around long enough that I know people who met online and eventually met in real life and got married. And to this day are still married. Happily I might add.

Dating strictly online isn't as bad as you're making it out to be. And contrary to what you think they can and do develop into real relationships. And worrying about someone turning out to be a guy is pointless. After all there are guys in real life who dress up as women and date other guys without telling them. That sort of thing is not limited to the internet you know. [/COLOR][/QUOTE]
I am not talking about finaly meeting them Im talking like just having a bf or gf just to have one because you cant get one

and i can tell if im dating a dude in real life internet you cant

[Nerdsy]

[quote name='oscarX']I am not talking about finaly meeting them Im talking like just having a bf or gf just to have one because you cant get one[/quote]

[color=deeppink]My, that seems contradictory, doesn't it? Hard to have one when you can't get one.

And let's put it this way; the "just because I want one" relationships have the same chance to develop into a serious relationship where the two meet. Not to mention that at 15 and below, if anyone thinks that relationship has a serious chance of working out in the long run, they're delusional.[/color]

[quote]and i can tell if im dating a dude in real life internet you cant[/QUOTE]

[color=deeppink]With the state of cosmetic surgery nowadays? It's definately possible for anyone to be fooled.

And I could tell I wasn't dating a guy, as far as is possible in any situation. Just because it's over the internet doesn't mean one never actually [i]speaks[/i] to each other.[/color]

[Horendithas]

[COLOR=DarkRed][QUOTE=oscarX]I am not talking about finaly meeting them Im talking like just having a bf or gf just to have one because you cant get one

and i can tell if im dating a dude in real life internet you cant[/QUOTE]What makes you think they can't get one. lol You're making an assumption here.

Also, if you really think you can tell if someone's a dude in real life if they are serious about hiding who they are, you're deluding yourself. And at this point I have to ask, just how old are you anyway?

Another thing, you've been warned quite a few times to improve your post quality [B]oscarX[/B], I expect that to be fixed or else you can and will be banned. Since using abbreviations as well as poor spelling is not acceptable. Especially when one has been warned as many times as you have.[/COLOR]

[DeathKnight]

[color=crimson]The Internet allows a level of anonymity that is difficult to attain IRL simply from how communication over distances works. The statement "X can happen IRL too" is not very insightful. If it is meant to be insightful it is, unfortunately, falling far short as comparisons to how IRL relationships work is difficult at best from the nature of continual long-distance communications.

If you don't know me, online now you could discern from his post I might be a bit confrontational or you might disagree or agree with me. You might make judgments on my screen name or how my prose sounds in your head as you read it. These are just a trickle of things you might do as a first impression online.

Comparing this to a first meeting IRL, you walk up to me in the middle of a conversation with another person and I'm saying this. How I'm dressed, my body movements, the tone of my voice, how attractive or ugly I am and dozens of other presumptions that cannot be made over the Internet without the aid of pictures or direct questioning.

By default long distance communications are much more anonymous. IRL I would have to put much effort into appearing as something I am not- a woman, a smarter person, a dumber person, whatever guise is applicable to this scenario. It is true there are liars no matter how you communicate with people but long-distance communication is innately helpful to lies when compared to being in person.

So yes, being sibling forms of communication makes comparisons between long distance and IRL numerous but there are still key differences. "X can happen IRL" is not a very good argument to make even if the person you are arguing against is, admittedly, not very good at it. Though talking about plastic surgery and talking about the horrible people lurking just around the corner seems rather desperate and silly considering how poor oscar is "debating".

Funnily enough maybe a few of you need to get laid. ;)[/color]

[desertphoenix]

[QUOTE=oscarX]I am not talking about finaly meeting them Im talking like just having a bf or gf just to have one because you cant get one

and i can tell if im dating a dude in real life internet you cant[/QUOTE]
Hey, sometimes you may not know if the person you are dating in real life is really a guy
:D . It's really a foundation of trust you must build in a relationship. You are going to have to take a risk in that whether it's online or in real life. Also i kind of believe if someone can get someone to like them on the internet, there is also a chance they can get someone to like them in real life. The same kind of people skills are involved, except for body language and appearance.

[Horendithas]

[COLOR=DarkRed][QUOTE=DeathKnight][color=crimson]So yes, being sibling forms of communication makes comparisons between long distance and IRL numerous but there are still key differences. "X can happen IRL" is not a very good argument to make even if the person you are arguing against is, admittedly, not very good at it. Though talking about plastic surgery and talking about the horrible people lurking just around the corner seems rather desperate and silly considering how poor oscar is "debating".

Funnily enough maybe a few of you need to get laid. ;)[/color][/QUOTE]It doesn't make them any less true, even if there are key differences. :p And the reality of horrible people lurking just around the corner isn't desperate but true. Just ask the victims of domestic violence that started with a simple date. People tend to look at the Internet as if it's so horrible and there are so many dishonest people when real life is equally as dangerous if not more so due to the layer of obscurity involved in the Internet side that shields them on some level.

So in that respect the real life aspect is what they should really be worried about in my opinion. Not a bunch of kids goofing off saying they have a boyfriend or girlfriend online. Or rather being convinced that it's pathetic. lol

But even more importantly, or rather what I wonder about, is why others dating online just to have a boyfriend or girlfriend would bother one person so much. In the end it just makes no sense that they feel so strongly that it's pathetic. After all it doesn't really affect them in the long run. lol[/COLOR]

[DeathKnight]

[quote name='indifference][COLOR=DarkRed']It doesn't make them any less true, even if there are key differences. :p And the reality of horrible people lurking just around the corner isn't desperate but true. Just ask the victims of domestic violence that started with a simple date. People tend to look at the Internet as if it's so horrible and there are so many dishonest people when real life is equally as dangerous if not more so due to the layer of obscurity involved in the Internet side that shields them on some level.[/quote][/color]

[color=crimson]I disagree with the implied scope of these dangers. It seems quite sad that "horrible people lurking around the corner" isn't taken as sarcasm but as a legitimate perception of reality.

The Internet isn't horrible. It isn't fantastic either. It just is prepackaged with positives and negatives as a method of communication as are real life communications.[/color]

[quote name='indifference][color=DarkRed']But even more importantly, or rather what I wonder about, is why others dating online just to have a boyfriend or girlfriend would bother one person so much. In the end it just makes no sense that they feel so strongly that it's pathetic. After all it doesn't really affect them in the long run. lol[/COLOR][/quote]

[color=crimson]I dunno. I think the fool is stupid. SunFallE, yourself and others in this thread aren't and are worth replying to.. at times. [/color] :D

[Horendithas]

[COLOR=DarkRed][QUOTE=DeathKnight][color=crimson]I disagree with the implied scope of these dangers. It seems quite sad that "horrible people lurking around the corner" isn't taken as sarcasm but as a legitimate perception of reality.

The Internet isn't horrible. It isn't fantastic either. It just is prepackaged with positives and negatives as a method of communication as are real life communications.[/color]

[color=crimson]I dunno. I think the fool is stupid. SunFallE, yourself and others in this thread aren't and are worth replying to.. at times. [/color] :D[/QUOTE] You're probably right, especially since I work with victims of domestic violence on a regular basis so I see those dangers every day at work. In the form of those who have been hurt and nearly all of them are from relationships that are real life, not Internet based. So to me it is a legitimate perception.

As for that last bit...*pokes DeathKnight* :p[/COLOR]

[Nerdsy]

[QUOTE=DeathKnight][color=crimson]The Internet allows a level of anonymity that is difficult to attain IRL simply from how communication over distances works. The statement "X can happen IRL too" is not very insightful. If it is meant to be insightful it is, unfortunately, falling far short as comparisons to how IRL relationships work is difficult at best from the nature of continual long-distance communications.

If you don't know me, online now you could discern from his post I might be a bit confrontational or you might disagree or agree with me. You might make judgments on my screen name or how my prose sounds in your head as you read it. These are just a trickle of things you might do as a first impression online.

Comparing this to a first meeting IRL, you walk up to me in the middle of a conversation with another person and I'm saying this. How I'm dressed, my body movements, the tone of my voice, how attractive or ugly I am and dozens of other presumptions that cannot be made over the Internet without the aid of pictures or direct questioning.

By default long distance communications are much more anonymous. IRL I would have to put much effort into appearing as something I am not- a woman, a smarter person, a dumber person, whatever guise is applicable to this scenario. It is true there are liars no matter how you communicate with people but long-distance communication is innately helpful to lies when compared to being in person.

So yes, being sibling forms of communication makes comparisons between long distance and IRL numerous but there are still key differences. "X can happen IRL" is not a very good argument to make even if the person you are arguing against is, admittedly, not very good at it. Though talking about plastic surgery and talking about the horrible people lurking just around the corner seems rather desperate and silly considering how poor oscar is "debating".

Funnily enough maybe a few of you need to get laid. ;)[/color][/QUOTE]

[color=deeppink]Not one of use are saying that there are no differences, or that personal relationships aren't better,though; merely, that online relationships [i]aren't[/i] pathetic. We don't really need to go over the two point by point in order to defend one of them.

Although we are talking about kids, here; how many of them are great judges of character? : P

As far as pointing out that it can happen in real life too... if he's going to swear off an entire medium because of what is possible, he should know that that it's still possible with his cosen medium.

AND MY ABILITY TO GET LAID IS NOT RELEVANT TO THIS CONVERSATION! :cussing: [/COLOR]

[Aaryanna_Mom]

[quote name='DeathKnight][color=crimson']Funnily enough maybe a few of you need to get laid. ;)[/color][/quote]Well seeing that I have children of my own I'd say getting laid is not a problem, at least not for me. And considering the age of some of those who post here, I certainly hope they are not getting laid! :p

[eleanor]

[QUOTE=Nerdsy][color=deeppink]But... don't most relationships, on the net or off it, exist because somebody [i]wants[/i] it to? Wanting a boyfriend or girlfriend is pretty much a prerequisite for dating, and it's certainly not pathetic.

As far as not enjoying each other's company... they have to enjoy it on some level, or they wouldn't interact with each other. I'd even say it's more likely to be "for the sake of dating" if it happens in person, [i]especially[/i] in the early teens. How many Jr. High/High schoolers date because they either want to improve their social status or simply because the other person looks good?

I say that's harder to do online, because not only does it take away the popularity factor (due to it being mostly looked down upon), one is much less likely to enter into a relationship based soley on appearance.[/color]
[/QUOTE]

[color=dimgray] Most [i]bad[/i] relationships start because somebody wants it to. To go into a relationship just to be able to say "I have a boyfriend/girlfriend" is a surefire way to predict its end within at least two months.

I see dating as two people who get to know each other and then start a relationship if they like each other. This is a personal thing, but the whole going on dates with people who don't know is a bit weird to me.

And yeah, the social standing it provides in school is a factor, but so is just wanting a boyfriend. And the kids who go into these things are probably surrounded by people who think it's normal, or whatever.[/color]

[Japan]

[COLOR=DarkRed]There are two sides to every situation. For one, if it is a really young person dating an older person then I'd be worried too. Like if it was let's say thirteen years old and a twenty year old, then yeah I'd have a problem.

But for my case. I was seventeen at the time and he was twenty-one when he and I met. We dated for about three months or so about two years later. I am still very close to him. I didn't think he was a stalker then and I still believe that he is who he says he is.

You just need to be careful who it is with. I am all for it if the people involved are using their heads. And Lunox, I was around several people including my family who think that online relationships would bring a murder/stalker to our door and there has not been one yet. Those who want a boyfriend or girlfriend for the sake of just having one are just immature. It doesn't matter whether or not if it is online or not. Like others said, you can run into bad people in real life too.

A close friend that I worked with down at the tv station met a girl online. They started to date and then met in real life. A month or two later, they got engaged and are now and still happily married.[/COLOR]

[Hylian]

Internet relationships are what the people in the relationship make them. If both people are really serious about it then they will probably meet at some point. And I to know people that have dated online then met and got married. I have met several people off the internet actually but I wasn't dating any of them it was just for fun. If one person isn't serious in the relationship though they might lead to other person to have a false sense of trust.

All in all remember this quote:

"Ah, the internet. Where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents."

[vegeta rocker]

The fact you are trying to chide an ONLINE forum with people who make ONLINE relationships all the time proves you have no idea what you are talking about.

I can see you having this argument with someone who is never online or someone who is not very web savvy, but why with people who obviously devote a good piece of their time to the internet?

You seem to have no knowledge of the internet itself when it comes to relationships, you probably just stumbled into a chat conversation and saw something going on and went "ewww gross!"

I have met some great people online and have done some things you call stupid online but that doesn't make me pathetic.

You sound like a n00b to the internet, thats the only excuse i can come up with that gives you any reason to be so grossly misinformed and bigoted.

[Sara]

[quote name='Felix Santiago][SIZE=1'] I just find online dating a sad excuse for having someone by their side 24.7.365 [/SIZE][/quote][color=#b0000b][size=1]Have you ever been on a road trip? 24.7.[b]7[/b] is more than enough time with [i]anyone[/i]. :whoops:

I spent a year in a long-distance relationship. Most of our contact during that time was through Yahoo instant messenger. Was that a "sad excuse" for real contact? It made both of us happy for quite a while.

The fact is, [b]where there is a medium to have contact with someone, people will develop attractions through that form of contact.[/b] This could be through class, by passing someone on the street, by listening to someone's music on the radio, by chatting, through a message board, through reading about a character in a book or watching someone on the television.

We feel happy when a person to whom we are attracted gives us attention. We're even happier when they feel the same way about us. In the vast majority of situations (celebrity crushes, that cute girl at the record store, your TA, the people you silently crush on but never speak to), that won't happen. When it [b]does[/b] happen, though, we sometimes go so far as to call it "dating" or a "relationship."

Are relationships formed through chatrooms less valid that relationships formed through personal contact? No. Are they the same kind of relationship? Also, no.

When I was thirteen, I had a huge crush on someone I met in a chatroom. I [i]glowed[/i] when this person talked to me. Talking with him made me happy. Would I ever have dated this person in "real life"? Nah. (We didn't even call it "dating" in the chatroom, although that would probably have had me floating on air for a week.) I really can't begrudge people?even "kids"?the opportunity to "date" people online. (However?when talking about "kids," dating online [i]with the intention to meet in person[/i] becomes a different situation because of the risks involved. That's a subject for another post, perhaps.)

I know that for me, an online relationship?or even another long distance relationship?is something to be avoided for personal reasons. But if someone can be both happy and responsible in an online dating situation... how is that stupid?[/color][/size]