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Writing 2572: Maybe, the last story I'll ever write


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[CENTER][COLOR="1234"][FONT="Copperplate gothic bold"][SIZE="20"][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"]2572[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[LIST][*][FONT="Arial Narrow"]PROLOGUE: Tall Tales Taste Like Sour Grapes[/FONT]
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700,000,000,000 years ago, a planet called earth died. The year was 2572 and all existence was destroyed by an unfamiliar other-worldly force that collided with the planet?s North Pole. The force was so great that the shockwaves scattered across the world and to the other pole. This energy caused a massive volcano to emerge from the center of Antarctica. The volcano melted the ice and covered the land. And from the north pole, a deadly virus spread to the world, it didn?t kill anyone for the explosion itself caused Mass Extinction.

The world was over? or so it seemed. A new life-force emerged from the crater left by the impact. This life-force wasn?t human nor animal, yet it engulfed the planet in a new land. The rest of the earth?s crust evaporated into nothingness from the poison. But the new life-force created a new crust, new water, and new land mass.

The earth had to rebuild itself from scratch, everything repeated, and the rest of space watched. But now, after so long, the earth is back to the state it was in during 2572, however the world is in use of the Kingdom System. But, the story of how the earth ended so long ago is nothing but a tall tale long forgotten.

Chapter 1 will be up later, I'm still finisheing it up. But as I've said, this might be tha last story I'll ever write, so if it is, I'm sticking roughly to poetry. So I'd apreciate any feedback I can get, thanks[/CENTER][/COLOR]
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  • 4 weeks later...
[FONT="Tahoma"]The prologue seems a to flow a little oddly. I?m not sure how to put it. Take the numbers for how long ago it was that Earth died? does the number have meaning? Or would simply using Billions of years ago work? Or how about where you talk about the shockwaves scattering? That seems to be a contradiction. If they were so great, wouldn?t they be engulfing the entire world instead of scattering?

It seems like you?ve condensed things to the point that events are overlapping a bit, resulting in some confusion as to what the prologue is trying to convey. I think. >_> I?m not the best at critiquing others works so I?m not entirely sure. I?m also not clear on what this Kingdom System is though I imagine that will be explained in due time yes?

Anyway, If you have the first chapter ready, post it! I?m thinking that will help me to see where the story is going. Also, I hope you don't mind the input. :catgirl:[/FONT]
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