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CHILDREN (/kids.)


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I just came across this website called "You Love You Lose" ([url="http://youloveyoulose.com"]click[/url]) which is basically just a site that posts pictures of (not-) cute/hot/smoking/adorable/loveable girls who put their own pictures online for the world to see. There's like 141212Ã?infinite of these kinds of sites on the internet, this one still being Safe For Work. The less SFW ones especially, always got me wondering "how did their parents not tell them to not put pictures like that online for everyone?"

Then I think next "But how would you do something about it?" or "Should you actually really do something about it?" "Until what age?" "What if they [i]do[/i] put stuff online?"

Luckily I haven't got any children (underway) yet, but still. Talk all stuff related to raising children, and what morals and things to add to their person. What do you think is important to teach them? What would you like them to like? Will you take them with you to church and stuff, and raise them with your religion? Will you get them to play an instrument? WHAT INSTRUMENT? What are important life lessons you'll teach them (aside from glow-in-the-dark condoms)?

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[font=tahoma,geneva,sans-serif]I used to want children of my own, but I've come to enjoy the perks of being a person who doesn't have children. However, if I were to have some I would instill them with most of the same values that I was raised with. Family always comes first. Respect people even if they don't show you the same. Work hard. Help others not for a reward, but simply because it's the right thing to do. Do your best in whatever you do.

As far as getting them involved in activities, I would support them in whatever they choose to do in life. Whether that's a son in Ballet or a daughter who wants to be on the Wrestling team. My parents did the same for me and my siblings, so it's only fitting.

But as far as putting up risque pictures online, it's important to have that talk with your kids...but at the same time there's only so much policing you can do with them. It's part of a "They'll learn the consequences through making the mistake." Now, this is a little more severe. But I think that having the conversation with your kids can be a good deterrent. You want to trust your children to not be so clueless and have a mind of their own to realize the potential repercussions of doing stuff like that. However, kids will push limits and boundaries to explore who they are and find out for themselves what they can/can't do. It's a natural part of human curiosity. [/font]
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  • 3 weeks later...
[color=crimson]I think it would depend upon their stage of development. Also, I think it would depend on me actually being a father, lol. Right now, responding to this topic is about as informed as me trying to solve some issues with your plumbing or car.

Still, though, I guess my point would be to instill in them a basic set of morals, a basic set of academic abilities, and, hopefully, the further into exercising the free will they get they can begin internalizing/understanding things on their own, with more me as a guide than absolute teacher?

I'll get back to you in twenty years with a better answer.[/color]
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First, teach by example. Talk about the challenges you face and the decisions you make with your children (after the fact). Explore their thoughts on the subject, asking them what they would do in that situation. A parent's job is to prepare her kids for adulthood. If we explore as many possible situations with our kids as we can, when they face those situations, they will have a tool belt of options to choose from. It sometimes isn't what people want to hear, but one of the most important aspects of parenthood is spending time in meaningful conversation with your kids, which means giving up something else you might like to do.

As far as sexuality is concerned, the topic will inevitably come up in conversation, and all a parent needs to do is answer the child's question honestly and appropriately without showing that you are nervous. I also agree with DeathKnight's statement about the stage of development. Research stages of development, and make sure you are not asking a child to understand something that is beyond them. For instance, 5 year holds do not understand abstract terms like "how would you feel if you were in their shoes?" So the concept should be explained in concrete terms.

That said, you can't control your children, you can only guide them, and hope that they retain the morals you have taught them. Children are more likely to retain a parent's morals if that parent has a trusting relationship with the child and if the morals are instilled from a young age using rules, rituals, and traditions. If you find that a bit manipulative, which I admit it is, then you should find out what is important to your child, and develop a tradition based on that.

For the record, I am not a parent. I recognize that this is easier said than done. I do work with kids, however, and take parenting classes weekly. Actually the parenting classes I take are free to the public, offered by the local community college, so if you are interested, you might be able to find something like that in your area.
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