Writing Errors(title)

[Mitch]

Errors
The error of our ways
it seems to stain the inside of our veins
creating wounds unknown to the dead
weighing upon us our intuition
feeding into our ignition
seemingly inevetible upon our minds
twisting and turning in without a sign
it burns inside like scar
festering until we are small
impairing our senses
in rythmical dispense
inflicting upon our mortal innocence
like a burning nonsense
it bears its will upon our chest

[Pressure]

[color=purple]The jist of it and the idea behind it are good.. but your spelling and rhyming could use some work.. scar and small don't rhyme well.. and innocence is spelling incorrectly.. but aside from that and a few other easily corrected things.. it was a very nice poem.[/color]

[Mitch]

Here's what I have to say to you: poems don't have to rhyme

[Pressure]

[color=purple]Yes sweet one.. I knew that already.. but it's hard to try and mask the fact that your poem was rhyming.. but I am glad you fixed innocence.. thats a start..[/color]

[Raiha]

[COLOR=royalblue]Cool it kids. Or rather, women. Alice-san has good points, and they should be received with dignity and understanding. BTW, nice poem.[/COLOR]

[Mitch]

I take her replies with dignity, I was just saying poems don't have to rhyme. Also, I am not a woman, I am a guy.

[Guest cloricus]

I have the weird urge to start yelling "Ricky Ricky Ricky" but I won?t. Any way nice poem - it should really make a bit more sense or where you going for the mysterious sort of poem feel?

[Flipmodesquad]

Good work. Why dont you put your peoms on [url]www.poetry.com[/url]
try making another one here and when ppl say its good put it on poetry.com anyway good work and good job.

[Raiha]

[COLOR=seagreen]Hey Flip! In your FF Marriage thread, where did you get that picture of Cloud and Tifa?[/COLOR]

[Mitch]

Yeh, I was going for a kind of mystery feel, I kind of do it with most of my poems, it just makes people seem to want to reread a poem and gain more understanding of it.