Writing inspired by a picture of a stranger

[vegeta rocker]

Here


I wait for you forever
Like the rain
Just because I know

That you are near
And it doesn?t matter
however far you go

Days on the street
Pass me by

The clouds are turning
Grey

Waiting here like nothing
Could pull me away

Seconds they roll by
Doesn?t matter here

Cause I know
You?re coming
And you?re near

Still nothing like the
Way you say you are
But you never were


Everything?s burning
The bridge behind you now
Just don?t turn back

I promise I won?t
Make a sound

And leave me here
in this town
still waiting
For you

extreme rough draft, open for suggestions

[KittyLynn]

[COLOR=deeppink]I really liked that. Its very moving. Keep it up.

Kitty[/COLOR]

[Tasrai]

[COLOR=green][SIZE=1][FONT=arial]It has alot of good points in it, but your asking for suggestions and I give you this one:
The way you have it layed out is kind'a bad, maybe it isn't but it just seems so to me, it just seems like you don't have the words lined up or something......Anyways great I loved it, you do write alot of good poems on these boards keep it up! ^_^[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Boo]

its realy nice, but I think you use a little to much the Enter button ;P

[KittyLynn]

[SIZE=1][COLOR=deeppink]You planning on posting any more of your poems. I would love to hear them. :)

Until then, Toodles.
Me.:)[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[AnimeAddict]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by raiye [/i]
[B][COLOR=green][SIZE=1][FONT=arial]It has alot of good points in it, but your asking for suggestions and I give you this one:
The way you have it layed out is kind'a bad, maybe it isn't but it just seems so to me, it just seems like you don't have the words lined up or something......[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE]

Maybe it's just the way he writes. Look at E.E Cummings. A great poet, very unique style. Good job Vegeta. ^_^

[vegeta rocker]

The lining up does need work i admit. I have this thing where i have to put the words in neat little stanzas which i haven't been able to do with that darn thing yet.

Thanks much AnimeAddict.

[Posthumous]

[color=teal][size=1][b]This is great.I like the words.Like calumon said before, it's very "moving"[/b][/size][/color]