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The Pigman

Lady Asphyxia

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[size=1]This piece is an assignment for school. It's [i]very[/i] rough, and I was wondering if my wonderful people out there could help me improve it. ^.~[/SIZE]

[center][size=3][b]LITERARY WRITING[/B][/SIZE][/center]

[size=1]Write an extra chapter or two additional short chapters for the novel [u]The Pigman[/u].

[list][*] Use some of the existing characters.
[*] You may add one or two of the new characters if you wish.
[*] Try to write in the 'style' and 'voice' of the author.
[*] Use the setting and circumstances of the novel.
[*] Include some descriptions and dialogue.
[*] Try to use an extensive, varied, and appropriate vocabulary.

[b]Length:[/b] 400-500 words.


[You need at least these quotes to be able to understand the significance.]

[quote]The room was dark because it's two windows were covered with faded paper shades. It was a real dump except for the table and shelves at the far end of it. The table had pigs all over it. And the shelves had pigs all over it. There were pigs all over the palce. It was ridiculous. I never saw so many pigs. I don't mean the live kind; these were phony pigs. There were glass pigs and clay pigs and marble pigs.

"My wife collects pigs. I got her started on it when I gave her one to remind her of me - before we got married."


"This one," he said, lifting a large white pig with an ugly smile on its face "this one was the first one I got her. She thought it was very funny. Pig. [i]Pig[/i]nati. Do you get it?

"Yes, Mr Pignati. We get it."[/quote]


What John said ? about me wanting him to tell his feelings all the time ? it isn?t true. I know how private he is, and I don?t really mind that much anymore. Besides, it seems that this epic was good for us anyway.

We went to the Pigman?s funeral. John lied again and said that we were related to the Pigman, but we didn?t know when the funeral was. He?s the best liar in the world. This lady took pity and told us.

I don?t know who organized it. I hope it wasn?t some state worker or something, but John says that?s what happens when no one comes forward to claim the person. I didn?t believe it, but he quoted this article on it. So now I think I?d just rather not believe it. Besides, like I said before, he?s the best liar in the world.

There was one Lady there; she had dark hair and funny glasses, and she didn?t speak once. I reckon that it?s the Pigman?s sister?s daughter?s cousin?s niece or something. They look sort of a like, but not enough to be properly related ? not like a sister. It?s really sad that she?s the only relative he?s got left. Anyone else who came sat there for a while and then ate at this buffet thing they had at the back. I?d have called them scungers to their face, but there was this one man who walked in wearing baggy clothes, and he was so obviously freezing. He walked up to the casket and stood there for a minute. When he turned away, I could tell he was about to cry. It?s really touching that someone off the street would cry for an old man who had no one.

John and I went, and stood in the back. It was hard to have a ?back?, with so few people there, but we stood and watched for a while. It was so sad, and I missed a lot because all my attention went to stopping myself from crying. It feels really bad when you?re stopping yourself from crying ? it gives you a headache and your eyes sting and your nose itches.

The Pigman was buried next to his Conchetta. I was so happy they ended up together in the end. There was this green mat that lowered the casket into the ground. The rest of the people at the funeral had nicked of ? The Crying Man included ? so it was just John, Me, and the Silent Lady. When the Silent Lady threw a flower on top of the casket. In hindsight, I think I should have thrown one too; the priest wouldn?t be wandering if I should go to the loony bin, if I had.

I threw him a tiny, pink pig figurine. [/size]
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[font=gothic][color=crimson].... .... ....Right.... Pig figurine....Interesting choice of things to help deal with bereavement. From the limited (a.k.a. none whatsoever) knowledge I have of the assumed novel involved, I can't find any problems, asiding maybe one or two phrasing things, but I wasn't really looking for spelling/grammer etc.[/font][/color]
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[size=1][quote]it?s the Pigman?s sister?s daughter?s cousin?s niece or something[/quote]

[font=rockwell]I don't like this sentence, its flow is horrible in comparison with the rest of the story.[/font]

This lady took pity [strike]on us[/strike], and told us[/quote]

[font=rockwell]Redundancy; don't know if it was intentional.[/font]

[quote]They look sort of [strike]a like[/strike] alike[/quote]

[font=rockwell]Just a simple mistake here; nothing too bad.[/font]

[quote]It was hard to have a [strike]?back?,[/strike] 'back,'[/quote]

[font=rockwell]I don't know if that's right; but that is what I've done with quotation marks, and these are nothing different.[/font]

[quote][strike]When[/strike] [strike]t[/strike]The Silent Lady threw a flower on top of the casket. In hindsight, I think I should have thrown one too; the priest wouldn?t be wandering if I should go to the loony bin, if I had. [/quote]

[font=rockwell]Just a simple brain fart, heh.

That's about all I found. There could be more things; heck, there's always something more that can be done to anything that's written.

As for the story: it was okay. I didn't really find I cared about the characters or anything. And, again, as it seems has happened quite often with your writing, it felt so forced; so unreal. I hate that contrived feeling, and, I hate mentioning it, too, but you need to work on that.

It didn't flow too well either, well, not for me at least. I found that once I didn't care less about the characters, then I began to zone out. The end though, that was a high point for me. Especially the last sentence. But I found the way it was written to be pretty dull and uninteresting; that, that then led me as a reader to not even want to read this thing altogther.

I suppose you were limited on what you could do, or someting. But I think that this could've been a lot better. Especially the characters. Those are my major complaint with this little piece. It just didn't keep me wanting to read since I could care less about what was going on. Oh, and not having read this book or whatever also declined from reading it, too, since I suppose that would've made this piece more as a whole.

It was an okay job. Just work on showing the characters stronger, getting some emotion in there; and, also, of course, on making it not feel so contrived.[/size][/font]
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[size=1]Contrived? How so?

I like it, Lady A. Again, freaky.... *laughs*

I'm suppose I'll have to read the book now, heh...

The "Tiny, pink, pig.." Bit bugged me a little bit... Too many commas, augh. ^_~

What was the weather like? [/size]
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  • 2 weeks later...
[size=1][color=purple]Heh. Mitch, you've told me several times that I need to work on the 'contrived' feeling - but you never tell me [i]why[/i] it feels contrived, or [i]what[/i] I can do to work on it. Just telling me something's wrong isn't going to help very much; like telling me that somewhere in the story, there's a spelling mistake, but not telling me where. :p

I was hesitant to make the characters show the emotion that much, and it would have been quite hard to do so, anyway. Lorraine - the writer in this piece - is the emotional one, and I couldn't figure out how to make her emotional, without losing the fact that she's the writer. If I made John the writer, there'd be less rambling - Lorraine goes off on tangents quite a bit - but it would also break the pattern throught the entire book; One chapter Lorraine, one chapter John.

I really didn't like writing this piece - I had fun with it, sure, but as an assignment, I thought the book ending was great. It was definate, and it left you wanting more of the book.

Heh. I suppose I should explain the pig. Quote: [/color][[color=white]I pushed the curtains open, and there was Norton holding a large white pig, which he had brought down suddenly on a table edge, knocking its head off. He looked inside then threw it against the wall where it blasted to pieces. Several other pigs were laying all over the floor, and the only thing I could think of at that moment was the proud and happy look on Mr Pignati's face when he had shown us the pigs that first day.[/color]] [color=purple][That, by the way, was from John's view.]

The book is actually really good, if you want to read it. I liked it. It's about 124 pages, so its quite easy to read in a couple of hours. [/color][/size]

[size=1]Ach. Sorry for double posting, but if I just edited the last post, it wouldn't show up as a new post. Anyway, I now have a new part of the assignment; Lit. Crit. It's really bad, in my opinion. Any sugggestions on how I can make it better? [At this point in time, I'm quite desperate. I've submitted this as a rough copy, but I don't think it answer the question very well, if at all. I've never done a Lit. Crit piece, though, and I don't know how to.][/size]

[center][b][size=3]RESPONSE TO LITERATURE[/B][/size][/center]

[size=1]Select [b]one[/b] of the following questions and write a clearly worded essay of literary criticism in response to it, using [u]The Pigman[/u] and [u]Sky Legs[/u] to support your answer.

[b]Chosen Topic:[/b] 3. "Paul Zindel's and Irini Savvides' particular skill is the creation and portrayal of interesting, exciting and yet realistic characters." Refer to at least two characters from [u]The Pigman[/u] and [u]Sky Legs[/u]. How effectively and realistically do Zindel and Savvides present these characters?

[b]Length:[/b]400-500 words.


Zindel and Savvides? literary magic lie in the reality of their characters, and the way readers can relate to them.

Eleni Cano-Katsas struggles with a new school, grief, and her ethnicity. She and her father had moved from Newtown to the Blue Mountains, because Eleni ?couldn?t stand living there anymore? (183). There she meets Pete, a boy ostracized for his differences. Together they embark on a journey of discovery. Eleni appeals to teenage readers because of how realistic she appears. She clashes wills with her English teacher, Mrs. Finick is bullied and tormented by her peers, ?copping all the flak and turning the tables on them.? (91) Strong-willed, but emotionally scarred from her mothers? death, Eleni struggles to find a friend, while the rest of the school are calling her names, such as: ?What a Mo. Lezzo.? (82) ?Mini Mo. She?s Mini Mo.? (82) ?Maxi Mo. Mangy Mo. Maggot Mo. Maggot Maxi Mo.? (82)

Drifting through time, unable to ?see for looking, and her eyes are looking only at yesterday,? (144) the character of Eleni represents both the best and worst of humanity, particularly in teenagers.

Not being able to let go
Change feels too rapid
Hormones on the roll
Rebellious and anti-authoritarian feelings
Feeling unsupported
Feeling out of place
Wanting different identity
Embarrassed by some or all of near relatives
Feeling out of control
Wanting to run away and hide

Paul Zindel?s character, John Conlon; sophomore, desk-writer, and ?organizer of the supercolossal fruit roll? (8), writes his ?memorial epic? (9) with friend Lorraine. Through their chapters, the character of John is gradually revealed. Always ?[twisting] things subliminally? (11), John ?[has] to do something unusual all the time? (11) only ?[getting] away? with them because he is ?extremely handsome?(11).

He ?drinks and smokes more than any boy [Lorraine] ever heard of? (11), often retreating to the ?Moravian Cemetery?(14) to do so. Lorraine is convinced it?s because ?his father made it seem as though drinking alcoholic beverages is a sign of maturity? (14). John ?[remembers] the actions? (17) of people, acknowledging it?s naturally because he ?[is] going to be a great actor? (18).

Misunderstood by his parents because ?neither of them has the imagination he has? (24) John alienates himself from them. The effect Mr. Pignati had on John ? which partly stems from this alienation ? was much like a relationship between a single parent and their child; more like a friendship than a blood relation. ?I can?t remember Bore, or my mother either for that matter, ever looking happy to see me? (53).

All characters in Sky Legs and The Pigman compliment each other in such a way that they add to the overall effect of the novels. The characters are realistic, everyday characters, often in not-so-everyday situations. [/size]
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*falls over laughing*

I remember doing this.

I hated it. --;;

Stupid 'Z for Zacheriah'



I showed Mrs Hurley though :shifty:

Man I loved that photo essay ^__________^ Showed Mrs Hurley good for choosing such a stupid novel.

[quote][i]From an english class long ago...[/i]
[b]Mrs H:'Eugh...what are these photos of?'

Me: 'Nerve gas victims. Seeing as she went out to find if anyone was alive, I thought it fitting to end the novel on a sour note that she was trapped on the American continent with no-one to keep company but corpses from a horrible holocaust.'

Mrs H: O.o; [/b][size=1][No really, her face was the spitting image ^^][/size]


*cease ranting*

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