Jump to content
OtakuBoards

Sign Up NEW RPG test


Box Hoy
 Share

Recommended Posts

[B]CHAOS THE FIRST[/B] [FONT=century gothic]shaodows are taking over the world and plunging more and more people into evil. the only one who can save them is a lone warrior named LEX. he holds the the one creation that can banish the shadows. the ECO. A sword that splits the darkness. [/FONT]
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok. You obviously didn't read the sticky.
I don't want to nitpick, for nits seriously suck, but I do want to help you out a little.

First, your story has very little storyline. All you are telling us is that there's this guy with this sword that has to destory this darkness. If you want people to sign up, you have to write more and draw the people into the story.

You also have nothing that includes other people. As far as I can see, this is a one-man-show. No one else is even mentioned. There are no signup forms. And there is, basically, an evily linear plotline. Sometimes not a bad thing, but this is too much.

I hope you take my suggestions to heart. It seems like a slightly good idea, if you put more work into it.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with KnightOfTheRose. Your RPG needs more sub characters with different skills and personalities and a deeper grasp on the story. Make it interesting for all kinds of people rather than just for yourself. Your game sounds like a short adventure type thing. I mean after all, one man can't save the world.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...