Writing The eternalness of death (sad poem...)

[Kyo no Ryu]

If Im an Eternal_Otaku
does it last through death?
Eternity is a long time
but is it eternity if your dead?
if you dont know your an otaku
can you be one?
for eternity?
through death?
if I loose interest
will my life be in debt?
for promising eternity
and going back on my bet?
I made a promise
I signed an oath
that anime would always be
what I prased most
so when i die
did I lie?
in the face of satin
if i liyed do I go to H*ll
or heaven?
Itsan unfair choice if Im dead
and had to rest my head
eternally in bed
otaku through death?
Ill find out then
weather I went back
on my promise again

[Baron Samedi]

Thats nice. Some stuff is... not so good, but generally, i like it. It is.. kind of haunting. a good job and nice subject. Well done.

[Kyo no Ryu]

thank you, its my first one I did by choice, maybe ill make more...

[Kittie]

[color=silver] Some grammatical errors...but other than that...nice poem...

Definitely interesting subject matter...[/color] :wave:

[Kyo no Ryu]

Thank you. As said it was my very first so its not all that but Im getting into this now

[Annie]

[color=teal][font=times new roman][b]Yes, very good subject. I like it because it makes you wonder. I would go back and edit the grammar^^[/color][/b][/font]

[maikiratori]

Very good imagry...I like poems with imagry! Keep it up!!

[Vicky]

[SIZE=1][I]I liked the poem, it's ok in certain ways. I write poems that are alot longer, and too me it was too short for my taste, but length isn't everything.

The words were put together ok, but it could be a bit better in grammer and stuff.

It was a great poem though, keep it up![/SIZE][/I]

[KarmaOfChaos]

[font=arial][color=deeppink]
Ooh, I [i]like[/i] it. Very intresting and unique. The theme rocks. Quite thought-provoking, the idea that if you die, it's not eternity, I never thought of eternity ending because of death. Good job! You should definatly try writing more.

Oh, and thanks for reviewing my poem! And vicky...you spelled grammar wrong. ^-~

-Karma

{PS: Your grammar isn't that bad, just needs a little touch up. Get someone to edit for you. And try breaking your poems into stanzas, it will make the poem flow a lot better. ^-^}
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