klinanime1 Posted December 31, 2003 Share Posted December 31, 2003 I'm back with another manga plot. Since I don't have another place to upload stuff, it'll take awhile to get the whole story out. It'll take awhile to get into the story, too. This was supposed to just be a practice manga, but with the Tokyopop deadline coming up March 15th, .... Anyways, I'd appreciate any constructive criticisms. 20- pages. fyi: if you don't like insinuations to people dying, don't read around page 5-ish nor the last page, whichever that is. [img]http://www.otakuboards.com/attachment.php?s=&postid=537010[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spikey Posted December 31, 2003 Share Posted December 31, 2003 Okay, that's awesome. I love it. Great job, I hope you win the Tokyopop contest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tog Posted December 31, 2003 Share Posted December 31, 2003 You might want to make it a bit darker, the grey just looks a bit choppy, I think. The shadows look really good as do the eyes. I think it could kick the butt of some of the work that was in it last time. Keep at it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klinanime1 Posted January 1, 2004 Author Share Posted January 1, 2004 Thank you. I wish I could make the gray smoother, but I'm using self manufactured screentones which will be choppy. Here's page two, if anyone's interested. [img]http://www.otakuboards.com/attachment.php?s=&postid=537098[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shippo Posted January 1, 2004 Share Posted January 1, 2004 [color=darkblue] [size=1] Wow, Amazing. I just love your style of art. I remember your last manga, and it was really,..inspiring^_^. Lol, Now you've made me want to mke [i]my[/i] own manga. And yes, I do agree that the gray is a little choppy, but nothing too bad. BTW: Best of Luck in the Tokyo Pop Manga contest ^_~ [/color] [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pyrophobic Posted January 1, 2004 Share Posted January 1, 2004 Wow, that looks so professional! I particularly like the last frame - it's a good angle to draw from. I see what people mean about the choppiness - it looks like the tones used in manga, but the 'dots' and textures need to be a little finer so they don't cut up the images as it were. Otherwise, I think it's brilliant - heh, direct me to the entire manga! Good luck with TokyoPop - looking great so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klinanime1 Posted January 1, 2004 Author Share Posted January 1, 2004 I think it's choppy looking because I had to resize it. The other, larger, version doesn't look so bad... oh well. Thanks for the compliments. Here's page 3 [img]http://www.otakuboards.com/attachment.php?s=&postid=537406[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eleanor Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 [size=1] Great art and beginning for your manga, I wish you good luck in the contest. The one major problem I have with it, though, are the screentones. They look pretty messy [mostly in the first page], and I would suggest to cut back a bit. Other than that, it's all wonderful. ^_^[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shippo Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 [color=darkblue] [size=1] Very nice, once again. I love how you make some frames overlapping others. For example, the fourth frame, where Val is running, and his head comes in front of the third frame. I also like the expressions on their faces. Like [again] on the fourth frame, Sam looks as if she's surprised or shocked, and I could just imagine the tone of her voice. [spoiler]Please post the next page![/spoiler] [/color] [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syk3 Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 [color=teal]I like where you're going with this manga. You're deffinitly hitting on the adult life-work-dating theme well, story-wise. Seems very professional. The only problems I can see so far are from the visual aspect. The people and objects are drawn very nicely, but as stated before, the screen tones have been making the shading way too doty. :/ The speach bubbles are also kind of wacky, mainly in the second page, and the font is pretty blury and annoying on the eyes, though that could be because you say you are resizing it. One last thing that I need clarifying on -- this Tokyopop manga contest.. they let you go left to right? I was just wondering if they may have required "authentic" style, or something.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiccansamurai Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 Left to right, because they want it to be "American manga" not completely authentic Japanese manga. Since I'm quessing you're using your computer for the tone, I'd say use smaller dots, but vary the space between them. But I absolutely love your style! Man, I have no chance in this comic... *Sits in a dark corner* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klinanime1 Posted January 3, 2004 Author Share Posted January 3, 2004 It's the oddest thing. You'd think resizing it would also resize the dots. I think that's the smallest I can go. ::grrrr :: Hopefully, Tokyopop has a much more sophisticated system than mine. Yeah, I started drawing authentic style, so I had to flip the pics on my computer. ^^ I've always done rather poorly on speech bubbles. : ( Well, here's the 4th page. [img]http://www.otakuboards.com/attachment.php?s=&postid=538261[/img] Hey. The dots aren't that big on the original! @ @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eleanor Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 [size=1][QUOTE][i]Originally posted by klinanime1 [/i] [B] Hey. The dots aren't that big on the original! @ @ [/B][/QUOTE] Be thankful that you have screen-tones in the first place, lol. Anyways, it's still great-looking. Your manga looks pretty professional, and I think you'er doing a wonderful job. ^_^. Hope to see the next page![/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klinanime1 Posted January 5, 2004 Author Share Posted January 5, 2004 Thanks! I decided not to use screentones in this page. (Ok, I was stuck at school and bored) It looks very... sloppy. - . - Still, I really don't feel like redoing the page... [img]http://www.otakuboards.com/attachment.php?s=&postid=539334[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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