Guest moonpriestess15 Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 Well, all of my friends are guys and my boyfriend is often getting jealous. I dont want to lose my boyfriend, but I wouldn't want to lose my best friends. I've tried talking to my boyfriend and he denys that he's jealous...what should I do? I would greatly appreciate it if people would give me some advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest koshiro Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 the way i see it is there is 2 solutions 1:take him with u when you go 2 hang out with your friends 2: sit him down talk 2 him and say theres nothing going on with you and ur friends and if he was interested in you that much he'd just believe you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess_Keiko Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 You could try to get him to be friends with your friends that way he knows what's going on, and he won't be so jealous, then all of you can hang out together. ( nvm what the dude above my post said) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 [color=darkviolet]Okay, first dumb question, how old are you? Second dumb question, what kind of jealousy is he showing? If it's just some normal type of jealousy, you know, like you're jealous of your friend because she goes on more vacations than you do, well you could always hope he'll grow out of it. Or kindly tell him that if he doesn't get over himself you'll leave him. But if it's getting to the point where he makes you choose between him or your friends or he gets really nasty when you try to spend time with your friends then I'd leave him now. Nobody needs that kind of aggrivatioon. That's all I can really offer on advice for this subject, I hope it may have helped a bit.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 [size=1][color=red] Break up with your boyfriend and date all your guy friends at once. You're young, so you've got to live your life promiscuously. Don't waste this chance. I'm counting on you. I'm sorry this's all the advice I have to offer, but trust me, I know what I'm talking about. I watch Oprah. And Dr. Phil.[/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 [size=1]I wouldn't take Mitch's advice to heart. Sounds to me like he's been temporarily possesed by Harry or something... Or maybe he's been smoking some of those funny little cigars. But ChibiHorsewoman does have it right. It says in your profile you're fourteen. You are definitly way too young to worry about this kind of thing. If your boyfriend doesn't accept you having a lot of guy friends, then he's not worth your time. A true gentleman would always trust you.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 It happens. Any guy would get pretty damn jealous if his girlfriend had a heap of mates that were boys. I get jealous when my girlfriend hangs around with a few boys. But I have to trust her. He mightn't trust you. You might have to assure him that he can trust you and ensure to him that nothing is happening or is going to happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k9-Girl Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 This could be a sign of insecurities in your boyfriend, I don't mean to scare you but it sounds like the same mentality of many abusive men. Try having him hang out with your friends and see that they're not a threat to you. Also, be lovey dovey with him to show him that he's the only one for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eh luu Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 wow, maybe they should just make a special forum for love problems, probably would get a lot of hits too, seeing as well ...atleast most are in the dateing age, no? I dont know exactly about your problem, I think everyone in there own way is right, perhaps getting him to hang out with you and you friends, and being lovey dovey to him is a good way to approach also, and maybe talking to him would also be good to atleast confront him about it and how you feel directly towards it, and if he still denys it.. point out times where he has been and shown this jealousy, and if he doesnt change tell him you'll leave him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sakura18 Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 Yeah...All I can actually say is to tell him to trust you. Even though you he may have some doubts ......okay....what i'm about to say is gonna be REALLY dorky.......but.. Tell him to listen to what his "heart" tells him.....ewie.....i can't believe i said that...i sound like my mom now...well! Good Luck!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverCyclone Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 First of all, I understand why he would deny that he's jealous. Many guys (myself included) are too damn proud to admit that. Ask him, very seriously, if he trusts you. Base your next action on how he answers. He'll most likely say yes, even if he doesn't, but listen to the way he says it. I do agree with KnightOfTheRose in that if he doesnt, he's not worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k9-Girl Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 I'd suggest dating girls instead of boys, but girls are generally more messed up in the head then guys are when it comes to relationships (at least the ones that lean more towards the same sex persuasion). Damned if you do and damned if you don't I guess... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krycifer Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 I say do what you want to do it's your choice and no one else's.You don't have to listen to me if you don't want to though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 [color=darkviolet]I don't think that suddenly changing your sexual preference is going to help matters. I'm probably saying that because I know a few gay men who can be even worse than me when it comes to drama productions and fits of slight jealous rage. Of course, the only gay woman I know of is very level headed and I do know a bisexual woman who's pretty down to earth...until you give her a few beers. ( Of course, I think she was just joking, sarcasm as we know doesn't carry too well over messageboards) I still say you should lose your boyfriend if he keeps becoming prone to these fits of stupidity (a.k.a. Jealousy) I mean, your fourteen not twenty-four it's not like you're actually looking to settle down and have started to look at apartments together. Friends are always more imortant than a boyfriend or girlfriend, especially when that said boyfriends or girlfriends are partaking in traits that are making them less than desirable companions whether it's binge drinking, doing drugs or becoming jealous when the person doesn't need to be. That's pretty much all I have to add to this subject. Thanks for listening[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gelgoog Pilot Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 All in all I agree with what these other members have said...well not Mitch. But anyway, just talk it out and stuff. Though I must ask this question. Do you hang out with these other dudes more often than with him? If that's the case, I would bet it is the source of the problem. You're fourteen...don't get worked up about it. Hell I'm nineteen and I still don't...even though mabye I should start no? :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 [QUOTE=Mitch][size=1][color=red] Break up with your boyfriend and date all your guy friends at once. You're young, so you've got to live your life promiscuously. Don't waste this chance. I'm counting on you. I'm sorry this's all the advice I have to offer, but trust me, I know what I'm talking about. I watch Oprah. And Dr. Phil.[/size][/color][/QUOTE] I'd have to agree with Mitch on this subject. I'm no expert like him since I don't watch too much Dr. Phil, but if you play your cards right you can go out with all of your guy friends. It's a bonus if you're a Junior in High school because you can do all of them, and then go on to college with a clean slate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 [quote name='Harry']I'd have to agree with Mitch on this subject. I'm no expert like him since I don't watch too much Dr. Phil, but if you play your cards right you can go out with all of your guy friends. It's a bonus if you're a Junior in High school because you can do all of them, and then go on to college with a clean slate.[/quote] [color=darkviolet]I think she should also consider the lessons from Jerry Springer guests. It' s really not fair to only go by Oprah and Dr. Phil. Jerry is pretty informative as well, don't you agree?[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverCyclone Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 She's 14! I dont think this is really a critical problem that would effect the rest of her life. If he's prone to violent bursts of jealousy (aka: screaming, saying things that should not be said) then he's not worth oxygen. If you are spending more time with your friends then him, its understandable that he'd get a little jealous. Dont worry about it too much though. If you do, you'll end up depressed over little things...course, Im a REALLY laid back guy, so taking my advice to heart would mean you would have to be pretty laid back yourself. :cool: Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ryokushin Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 Well the way I see it if he doesn't want you hanging around your friends it is because he thinks (maybe) because you will find someone better then him. And he is scared of that. You think of your guy friends as just friends so he shouldn't have a problem with that, jealousy is something everyone goes through so it would be hypocritical to actually say something such as 'Well he has no reason to be jealous', but you should like sit down and have a talk with him. Just explain your situation. If you care for him enough, and he cares for you then he should understand that you do not like anyone, but him (in that kind of way). Of course if he is still angry/jealous after the talk then maybe you should just tell him to hit the road. He would understand not too long after. If he cares for you enough, he should just ignore the guy friends you have (or his feelings about it). If he had as many female friends would you be jealous? (not a rhetorical question) He will soon find out in time that you care for him a lot and would not want to be with another person (as long as you are with him) and well that is all I have to say, sorry for speaking so long. [QUOTE=SilverCyclone]She's 14! I dont think this is really a critical problem that would effect the rest of her life. If he's prone to violent bursts of jealousy (aka: screaming, saying things that should not be said) then he's not worth oxygen. If you are spending more time with your friends then him, its understandable that he'd get a little jealous. Dont worry about it too much though. If you do, you'll end up depressed over little things...course, Im a REALLY laid back guy, so taking my advice to heart would mean you would have to be pretty laid back yourself. :cool: Good luck![/QUOTE] She may be fourteen, and this may not be a critical problem in your mind. But to her this is, hence comming here for advice. This could actually effect her life, whether you believe it or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k9-Girl Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 three words... FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS It's way better than limiting yourself to just one person. And at your age, experimentation and practice is more important than commitment. Make the rest of your life worth living and don't sell yourself short so early in the game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest krutiebabie Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 oh...that's a tough one...*thinks*....i'd say...stick with ur heart...but yeah...easy then done....if u really love ur boyfriend...stay with him...other wise...i'd say stay neutral...cause i'm sure they'll get along fine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 [QUOTE=k9-Girl]three words... FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS It's way better than limiting yourself to just one person. And at your age, experimentation and practice is more important than commitment. Make the rest of your life worth living and don't sell yourself short so early in the game.[/QUOTE] [color=darkviolet]Okay, I know she's not talking about whether or not she should break an engagement and while I have no problem with sex ...I don't think it's very responsible to go and suggest to a 14 year old that she go and sleep around because she shouldn't sell herself short at such a young age. My birth mother was pregnant at such a young age. People get STDs at such a young age, Try to get an education first and then go for the booty, it's quality not quantity that's important. I think your outlook on this whole thing is very uninformed and immature. I doubt that you've actualy experianced any real hardships in such relationships involving sex. Yes there are some people who will sleep with anything with a pulse and don't care who they hurt in the process or what the outcome is as long as there's a slight chance of self gratification, but there are also people who think that sex is just as important as the relationship that may go with it. I really could care less what she or anyone else does in the long run, but people shouldn't try to encourage others in reckless behavior just because they partake in it themselves.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lavalamp Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 At least he cares enough about you to get jealous. That's totally sexy in my eyes. I'd make more male friends so I could see him whipped some more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k9-Girl Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 Well yes, 14 is debatebly too young for sex, but the whole idea behind friends with benefits is that of a circle of friends who don't have sex outside of that circle and experiment with one another in a safe and controlled environment. Many people have started using the terminology of "Friends with benefits" a little loosely in more recent times, even using it as a euphamism for sleeping around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 [QUOTE=k9-Girl]three words... FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS [/QUOTE] Oh yeah like that ever really works out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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