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A distressing situation...


CB Shin
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I have this girlfriend in high school right now, but there is a slight problem. I asked her out on Valentine's Day and she said yes. Now more than a week later, she tells me that she wasn't supposed to go out with me. You see, her parents doesn't allow her to date non-christian guys, and I stick true to my non-faithful roots (lol). All of a sudden she tells me she can't lie to her parents anymore and that we won't be able to see each other anymore. I really like this girl, she's unlike any of my friends and I feel a special connection with her, but I'm soon forced to seperate from her. Any suggestions on how to solve this problem? (Feel free to post anything, I'm open to any ideas...)
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[size=2]Well, first of all, I'd like to point out that it's ********. Next, I'll explain why.[/size]
[size=2][/size]
[size=2]1. Being a 'Christian' says nothing about someone's character. I know non-Christians who are purer of heart than many Christians. This is not to say that Christians are inherently bad, but they most certainly are not inherently good.[/size]
[size=2][/size]
[size=2]2. Her parents are not being good Christians in placing these restrictions on her.[/size]
[size=2][Quote=The Bible][/size]
1Cr 7:12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

1Cr 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

1Cr 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. [/QUOTE]
[size=2]Unless I'm misinterpreting here, our good buddy God doesn't want people to shun relationships with people who don't believe in him. If things end up well, it even says that a man/woman can 'save' someone through marriage. If you're a good person, and your girlfriend can vouch for you, a heartfelt letter written to her parents may let them see the light and set aside their restriction. Let me tell you from experience that an honest letter written from the heart can do amazing things.[/size]
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That sucks...

The only advice I can give you is to reason with her, and have her talk to her parents about the 'non-christian' dating thing..

I don't think you talking to her parents would be such a good idea.

Sorry if this isn't much help to you. Hope it works out.
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Personally, I think Adahn is right, in the fact that they're not being "good Christians" by not letting her date you.

But really, you might want to talk to [i]her[/i] about all this. If she really loved you, she would point out to her parents that Jesus wouldn't support of her parents actions, and that she should be allowed to see you. However, I can see this not working, as if they're staunch Christians enough to deny you going out with her, they're not going to listen to her.

Not really much you can do here. I wouldn't recommend converting to the Christianity just to go out with her. >:^D Sorry about that.
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[size=1][color=royalblue]Just do what many people seem to fail to do: be good friends, and talk to her parents about that. Trying to get into a relationship like that could complicate things for you, her, and her family.

In conclusion, if they won't let you guys be friends, keep a mature perspective on it--everyone can be irrational sometimes, and don't go into an emotion-driven frenzy and put down her family for their decision. Keep a cool head and realize you can't do much about it: you can still talk to her at school I'm sure. ^_^[/color][/size]
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Thanks for all the helpful advice/insight. However, Altron is right. They're quite "extremist" Christians to say the least, so I don't think they'll listen to me (or her). For example, I actually met her mother on a car ride home once. She seemed to like me when my girlfriend started complimenting me (eg: Honors classes, morals, ect.). Anyways, when her mom asked what church I go to and she replied "Well he's been to A church before..." her mom fell silent as if she disapproved of me. I don't really begrudge her parents anything. I guess the problem really lies on her. I'm simply a little disappointed at her lack of motivation... So I guess the only real option is to seperate and just be friends as Dark Serena says...
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[color=#404142]Hm, it seems you wouldn't get far in that family. Would you like to be in a relationship where everytime you were near her family, you'd be very uncomfortable? It just seems that would be a rather discomforting position. If the girl really does like you, she'll either be persistant to her parents, or not even care what they think.

Her parents are just set in their ways. There's nothing you, or she, can do about it, unfortunately. So, if she doesn't have the will power to stand up for what she holds dear, then the best option you may have is to be just friends. Perhaps over time, things will change. Maybe her parents will start warming up, you never know.[/color]
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