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Manga I need suggestions here....


shakon
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Hi there! So, I'm doing this manga called tomodachi - maybe you've seen me posting my chapter titles on the fanart section of theOtaku. Anyway, I'm kinda wondering if anyone [B]ANYONE[/B] could tell me how to improve on the art. My storyline? I've already got that done, so I don't really need suggestions (although, if you wanna comment, go ahead.) I'm not going to post a specific picture because every page tends to show different levels, but I will post my Manga's Website. :catgirl:

[URL=http://tomodachi.t35.com]This is it - Tomodachi[/URL]

Oh, and one more thing... I suggest you make your judgements based on chapter four, my most recent. The first chapter and a half won't tell you (or me) much about my situation here.... :animeswea
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[QUOTE=shakon]Hi there! So, I'm doing this manga called tomodachi - maybe you've seen me posting my chapter titles on the fanart section of theOtaku. Anyway, I'm kinda wondering if anyone [B]ANYONE[/B] could tell me how to improve on the art. My storyline? I've already got that done, so I don't really need suggestions (although, if you wanna comment, go ahead.) I'm not going to post a specific picture because every page tends to show different levels, but I will post my Manga's Website. :catgirl:

[URL=http://tomodachi.t35.com]This is it - Tomodachi[/URL]

Oh, and one more thing... I suggest you make your judgements based on chapter four, my most recent. The first chapter and a half won't tell you (or me) much about my situation here.... :animeswea[/QUOTE]

Maybe it's just me, but the website comes up totally blank O_O
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[CENTER][COLOR=Blue][SIZE=1]Sorry, Syk3, if this would be considered spam, it is pretty short ^^'

It just says 'Error: Page cannot be displayed' on mine. I don't quite know what you're asking, do you already draw and need us to give you ideas for like outfits and stuff or do you need people to draw it for you? Cause that I can do... But I'm not too sure about advice.

Also, are you SURE that is the correct link? Because I made that mistake one time, I misspelled a link and I had no clue why people were telling me it didn't work until I double checked it. Just to see if that's the problem.[/SIZE][/COLOR][/CENTER]
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Not sure what kind of feedback you are looking for, but I think your website hates me cause it was crazy and opening widows all over the place for a while O_o

I recommend you -don't- hand write the text. The text seems like it's squished into the text bubbles and doesn't look very neat (there are also a few spelling errors... typing up all your text into word and adding it in later with Photoshop or something would help that problem).

As for your art, looking into studying anatomy might help you out TONS.

Your main problem seems to be the face in profile. The eye shouldn't be right up against the side of the face... it needs to be back further. And I know anime characters have huge eyes, but maybe you are drawing the eyes a bit too big as well ^^; Characters could also use fluffier hair, as their heads seem a bit flat... (and I guess I'll randomly mention that the distance between two eyes roughly equals one eye... the bottom of your ear starts at the bottom of your nose, the top around the edge of your eyes... in some of your images, the ear is either up too high, or too low...and is usually too small ^^

The way you are drawing reminds me of chibi or super deformed characters... is this what you were going for? If not, their heads are too big ^^; (but I was sorta guessing everyone was chibi or something since they all had big heads and no hands

Also keep proportion in mind (like a person's elbow is usually around where the top of their hips starts.... some of your arms are too long, some too short). Random stuff like that.

Also, as a manga (though I didn't read it) it seems awfully boring because a lot of it seems to be nearly identical images repeated. Practicing different poses from different angles might help a lot. Some of your backgrounds seem a bit odd as well... I can't ever tell where people are supposed to be O_o; and everything seems very flat... for practice, try drawing rooms in your house or at school. (And, randomly, on page 15 or so... those glasses look really flat ^^; practice drawing circles and ellipses. Liquid isn't flat across either... it would be an ellipse, like the top of the glass. Liquid is also generally see through, so you should see the bottom of the glass as well).

And your shading is a bit messy... if you want it to look nicer, try blending it or at least shading everything in the same direction (it looks odd when if half the panel all the strokes are going across, but the other half they are all vertical).



Wow, I wrote a lot T_T I hope that as the sort of feedback you were looking for ^^; if I can do anything else to help you out, let me know. If you need me to illustrate anything I mentioned, let me know and I'll try and poop out some kind of tutorial.
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^^ Yeah, that's exactly what I was looking for! Thank you so much! Wow, I guess I have a lot to work on! :animeswea But I thank you for all of that. :animestun It made my head spin a bit, but that's alright.

But uh... yeah, you can tell I. can't. draw. backgrounds. :animeswea So, I'll try some of your suggestions...

[URL=http://tomodachi.t35.com/pictures/080.JPG]*~picture~*[/URL]

And is that page more what you had in mind?
(if it doesn't come up, just refresh it...)
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  • 2 weeks later...
[QUOTE=shakon]^^ Yeah, that's exactly what I was looking for! Thank you so much! Wow, I guess I have a lot to work on! :animeswea But I thank you for all of that. :animestun It made my head spin a bit, but that's alright.

But uh... yeah, you can tell I. can't. draw. backgrounds. :animeswea So, I'll try some of your suggestions...

[URL=http://tomodachi.t35.com/pictures/080.JPG]*~picture~*[/URL]

And is that page more what you had in mind?
(if it doesn't come up, just refresh it...)[/QUOTE]

That's a lot better ^_^

And I totally think the board ate my first reply to this T_T

*coughs* Anyway... Backgrounds are hard to draw XD; Like I said, try drawing random rooms when you go places. It helps.

Let me know if I can do anything else to help you out ^_^
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