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RPG Joke Contest!


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Just tell your best joke, then I'll make another topic with a poll and ppl will be able to vote which is best!

Here's mine:

This guy goes to a grocery store and asks the clerk behind the counter for two cans of dog food.
"Do you have a dog?" asked the clerk.
"Yes I do!" replied the puzzled customer.
"I'm sorry sir" said the clerk "but you're going to have prove to me that you have a dog before I can sell you dog food."
Back home went the frustrated customer to get his dog and pulled it on its leash all the way back to the store.
"Here's my dog!" wheezed the tired customer.
"Thank you sir, here is your two cans of dog food."
Two days later the guy returns to the same store and goes up to the same clerk and says:
"Two cans of cat food please."
"Do you have a cat sir?"
"Of course I do!" said the exasperated customer.
"I'm sorry sir, but I have to see your cat before I can sell you cat food."
The guy storms out of the store, goes home, grabs his cat, drags it back to the store and holds up the cat by it's tail for the clerk to see.
"Thank you sir, here is your two cans of cat food."
The very next day. The guy returns to the store, approaches the clerk and places on the counter a white shoebox with a small hole on the cover.
"Yes sir", asked the clerk, "what can I do for you?"
"Put your finger in the hole" ordered the customer.
"I beg your pardon?" said the clerk.
"Do as I say!" ordered the guy.
Cautiously the clerk slid his finger all the way in the hole.
"Pull it out and tell me what it feels like!" said the guy.
Said the disgusted clerk, ""It feels like ..." To which the customer replied "THAT'S RIGHT!!, Now give me two rolls of toilet paper!"
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aight. here's mine.

A farmer wanted his chickens to lay eggs so he went to a shop to buy a rooster. The clerk said, "Rusty is our best rooster here." And so the farmer bought Rusty and took him home to his chicken house and let him loose.

"Do your stuff, Rusty." The farmer told him as he let him into his chicken house. Moments later, the farmer heard squaking and he was satisfied.

But later on that day, the farmer saw old rusty runnin' across the barn yard and into the horse barns. The horses suddenly started making noise and Rusty then ran to the pigs. The pigs squeeled and rusty went over to the cows.

"Stop, Rusty! You'll kill yourself!" The farmer warned but Rusty didn't listen.

That evening, the farmer was sitting on his porch when he noticed Rusty on the ground, not moving, with a vulture flying over head. He came up to Rusty and put his small head in his hands and said, "Poor Rusty. I told you you'd kill yourself."

Rusty then lifted his head and whispered, "Quiet, you idiot! The vulture's getting closer!"
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Ok here is mine......
there is a guy who is a cash register man at an apple stand, the first customer comes up and asks," how much are the apples?
Clerk: I dont know
*the manager walks out and yells

Manager: No NO NO! if someone asks how much the apples are you say, 10 cents!

*The next customer comes up and asks

Customer: are the apples fresh?

Clerk: I dont know

Manager: Idiot! yuor supposed to say....yes, very very fresh!

On emore customer come sup and asks.....

Customer: Should I buy these apples?

Clerk: I dont know....

Manager: Thats it you damned fool! your supposed to say...If you dont then somebody else will!!!

Then all the sudden a robber comes up and says...

Robber: How much money is in the Cash register?!!!

Clerk: 10 cents

Robber: Are you being fresh with me?

Clerk: Yes, very, very fresh...

Robber: How about I take this gun and put a bullet through your head!!!

Clerk: If you dont...somebody else will....
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