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Discuss Dragon Wars - Revamped [M-LSV]

Kayin Cloud

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[SIZE=3][FONT=Garamond]I did this RP a while ago so I tried to fix it so maybe it'd go a little better. Tell me what you think, what needs changed, and if you'd be interested let me know.


?All that those dragons do is cause us havoc!? an armor clad man spoke. ?They must be eliminated?Immediately!? The knight looked out to his troops as he drew his blade. The others followed suit, pointing their own swords upwards. ?We shall slay all dragons! As the Knighthood of Megid, we will stop this chaos and put those oversized lizards in the place!? a loud cheer from the knights followed the commander?s speech.

?To Megid!? The knights shouted in unison. ?To the death of all dragons!?


Those damned humans have grown arrogant and have forgotten who was on this planet first! A large, elder dragon spoke to others through telepathy. We have been on this planet much longer and we deserve superiority?Well, if the humans wish to be on top, we?ll have to flatten them into the ground! The dragon roared loudly followed by multiple roars from other dragons. We shall crush the humans?Once and for all! As the dragon stopped, a large blaze of darkfire shot from his mouth up into the sky, followed by the flames of others.

~After the declaration of war has been made~

?No! I?m not going to fight against dragons! It?s pointless!? A boy said as he ran from his home with a bag on his back as well as his weapons. Word had spread through Megid and the kingdoms nearby of the war and recruiting had begun. Humans who had lived with dragons fled with those dragons to hide them from the humans aligned with Megid. Humans and dragons who disagreed with the idea of war left their homes, most of them heading to an area away from the already spreading war zone. Most of them lived in the same area or within the area?s vicinity, which was now called Sanctuary among the outcasts. Any of these who refused to fight the war were listed as Outcasts and marked as traitors to their race. As the war raged on, the Outcasts began to wish that the war would come to an end so they could return to their homes. Although neutral in the war, they decided to think of way to end the war, one way or the other?

The humans called by the kingdom of Megid and kingdoms nearby and the dragons of the nation who have been banded together have entered into an all-out war. If the dragons win, then they shall have ultimate rule over the nation, and if Megid succeeds in victory then they shall reign supreme. The outcasts now wish to end this war and let society return to the way things were, allowing humans and dragons to live in unison and even in the same homes if they so wished. The outcome of the war could completely alter the balance of the nation?But who will win?

Just to set things straight, there will only be a max of 8 characters and at least two have to be a part of a group, no more than 3. By doing so, it should give the alignments a 3:3:2 ration one way or the other, just to be fair. There is no real good or evil, but it all depends on your point of view from your character.

[B]Fighter:[/B] Fights with one?s fists alone
[B]Warrior:[/B] Uses a melee weapon to battle usually
[B]Ranger:[/B] Specializes with bows and arrows
[B]Mage:[/B] Magic users of the nation
[B]Knight:[/B] Armed well; same as warriors; usually under Megid
[B]Paladin:[/B] Lance user, armed lightly, can use weak magic
[B]Ninja:[/B] Master of Ninjutsu, uses Katanas

[B]Normal:[/B] Average abilities, swift flight, breathes fire
[B]Flare:[/B] Faster on the ground than the air, powerful, intense flame-breath
[B]Blue:[/B] Fast in flight, very think scales, freezing breath
[B]Shadow:[/B] A leader of dragons, extremely thick hide, master of flight, high accuracy with darkfire breath[/FONT][/SIZE]
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This game sounds decent, if a bit clichéd...

I was wondering what color is the "normal" dragon? Green? And I suppose there can be other colored dragons besides that, to make it more original...

All in all, I think you ought to concentrate more on the originality factor here. I haven't played it, but this sounds a lot like the videogame Drakengard (or just about any game with "Dragon" in its name.)

Also, try to put some originality to the human classes if you will. Like that, they're just like in every other game out there.

It's a good thing that you are avoiding the "good-neutral-bad"-alignments, that's a big plus on the originality factor.

Of course, these are just my opinion, or what I personally would change. It's your game and you can do whatever you want. ;D
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I greatly appreciate your opinion. I probably will change things up but when I say the color, I just mean the class of dragon they are. For instance a Red Class Dragon could be some other color but have the same abilites as a Red Class Dragon. Black Dragons however don't have much leigh-way(sp?) with their color. I haven't played Drakengard so I hadn't really realized it when I first made the RP. I'll try to think of ways to edit this. Thanks again, Sage.
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Oh, I see... so the colors represent the dragons' ranks or something like that. But isn't that confusing, really?

Imagine this dialogue:

[SIZE=1]"I have a Black Dragon."

"Oh black! It's my favorite color."

"No, he is actually green."

"But... you said black."

"Yes, he is a Black Dragon, but his color is green."

"Err... right."[/SIZE]

So, perhaps you should replace the color-ranks with something else... How about metals? Brass Class, Bronze Class, Silver Class, Gold Class, etc.? Or elements? Air Class, Fire Class, Ice Class, Shadow Class, etc.?

That way you could keep the color and the rank separated. ;D
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I think that rank should be seperate from everything else. I like the idea of using the names of metals to indicate rank, but do not use elements. Element should determine abilities, not rank. Also, for the class of human characters, don't limit people's choices. It's fine to give a few examples, but let people make up their own classes if they want to. You'll never think of everything, so let other people come up with their own ideas.

Also, your backstory seemed rushed. It gave the impression that the races suddenly decided to declare war. That just doesn't make much sense. You should rewrite it to make it feel like the decleration is the end result, not an instantanious decision. Present the declaration as the end result of a process.

Well, that's all I have to say.
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