Writing "seduction, suction, destruction" [PG]

[Mitch]

L3 originally read "black holes" but i hyphenated it because for this assignment, i was to only have 15 nouns and one "and." i had an argument about this, though. although "black" in "black hole" is technically an adjective, a "black hole" acts as one noun even though it's two words. it's kind of a phrasal noun, in a sense. a regular hole and a black hole are two different things. and i felt that black hole's meaning to the entire poem (to me, anyway) was heavy, so thus i kept it and hyphenated it just to be technically correct in what i had to do.

seduction, suction, destruction
space, infinite, beyond: aliens' junction
lovers' 'holes, novas: death's function
end and conjuction

[Nomura]

Short and sweet. Good one. A lil' too short. I was like "is this all?". LOL. Maybe you could lengthen it up a bit?

[Mitch]

[quote name='Nomura']Short and sweet. Good one. A lil' too short. I was like "is this all?". LOL. Maybe you could lengthen it up a bit?[/quote]

Nope. I could only use 16 words: 15 nouns and one "and." That's all.

[Nomura]

No, I mean lengthen your words. Possibly use at least one compound word? I feel that , that way you can get out more of what exaclty this poem is about.

[Mitch]

[quote name='Nomura']No, I mean lengthen your words. Possibly use at least one compound word? I feel that , that way you can get out more of what exaclty this poem is about.[/quote]

That's pretty hard to do. In fact, to write this poem itself took me many hours. Most of that time was spent just trying to get [i]something[/i] to write the poem about that would somehow work with what I had to do. The first poem I wrote still had some adjectives that snuck into it, so I deleted it entirely and it's forgotten; I got too frustrated to salvage it so it followed the rules I had to follow.

I think as it is is pretty good for the bare things I could use. You try writing a poem with just nouns and an "and": it's frustrating. I always wanted to use verbs or a few adjectives, but I couldn't; somehow, the nouns have to get across the meaning. I think it may be vague, but it has meaning.

[Lady Asphyxia]

[font=Arial][size=2]I really liked it, Mitch. For all that you say it was hard to write a poem like this, I think it packs a punch. It's quite concise, I think, and it flows really magnificently. I love the last line: end and conjunction, just because and is a conjunction so I think it's a funny pun. :p But that's me.

The reference to novas is really powerful, I think, because everyone knows what it is and knows the image they create, so I think that's a big thing in your poem, since it really lets the reader connect imagery to your poem.

So yes, Mitch, I really quite like this poem. Well done. ^_^
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