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Writing My Facade [PG] please give me some pointers and good comments


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In this hole wrapped up in earth
I have this famailar feeling.
Being attacked from all sides
the bottom and the ceiling.
I am shrouded in my personal hell
Without my hate I will fall
My soul I will sell
The walls are just too tall.
Help me find a precipice
To stand on to fight on.
Give me grace to dominate.
Inside this elongated fake fascade.
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I love the rhyme scheme, how it goes from a|b|c|b to a|b|a|b to |a|b|c|d. To me it kept the poem a bit interesting, because there was no mixture of long and short lines. It needs some better punctuation and a spell check, but besides that, it's good.
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