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Discuss Upcoming RPG idea- Deception <M-V,L> Feedback wanted


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Ok then, I've decided to ressurect an RPG that I created around 7 months that I found to be one of my best but no one really paid attention to it because there were a few big RPGs on the boards at the time. So first of all I'll post it here to get general feedback to it.


[I]Hill overlooking Village of Kenai Clan, Japan. Day 1 of Siege

The Warlord surveyed the beseiged villiage from atop a high Hilltop to the north and laughed as he watched his forces move to cut off all passes into the valley which the villiage was located. He had always hated the Clan Chieftian so when the man fell out of favour with the Emperor he jumped at the chance to eliminate this pest. This was the third leader which he had attacked the hometown of and each victory only added to his private militia and his territory.
He spun around angrily as one of his Generals approached his viewing point to report that the passes were blocked and there was no chance of any of the scum escaping. The Warlord waved this off and ordered the troops to hold positions, A Starved man cannot fight as well as a Healthy man so they would wait until there would be signs of scuffling inside, then they would attack.

Village of Kenai Clan, Japan. Day 2 of Siege

As Lady Shun Kenai walked down one of the major streets of the Villiage, She could already sense some unease between her kin and other villiagers. The siege was nearing the peak of the second day of the siege and she was already fearful of her clans survival. "Milady" A voice said behind her which drew her attention away from her people. "Yes Hui?" She asked, wanting something to think about other than her people. "Your Brother has sent for you, He requires assistance devising a way out of this predicerment."
'That is what he would ask,' Shun thought to herself,' I am the most accomplished Strategiest in the villiage after all.' As the servant guided her away, she never saw the fistfight breaking out in a stall down the street, and never noticed the people pouring into the fight.

Half an Hour Later in the Villiage centre; Shun stood alongside her two brothers and her father standing over a table covered with a map of the region. They could define no easy escape from the villiage which wouldn't result in a fight and considering their foes superiour numbers then that wouldn't work too well. But before they could come up with a strategy, they were called away to stop the brawl that had erupted earlier.

Midnight, Village of Kenai Clan, Japan. Day 3 of Siege

Under cover of Darkness The attack begun; At first there was no signs of attack until the first catapult shots struck the Fortifications. This assult continued until the morning where there were large breachs in the walls, At a command from a General the army charged. The soldiers went through the breachs and started their slaughter, Torching buildings and killing the inhabitants. A litlle way off the bells sounded but it was too late, No one could prepare for battle and no one had a prayer.

Back in the home of the Villiage head, Lady Shun was making preperations but she knew that she couldn't fight and knowing that their enemy wanted the Villiage Head alive she knew that they wouldn't torch her home. Instead she chose to hide, shifting a few wooden planks on the ceiling and crawled through into the space between the roof and the ceiling of her room. Her Sword hung loosely at her side and even though she couldn't weild it well she wouldn't leave it. As she crawled between another narrow space to the roof she could finally see who it was that was responsible for the attack. The Warlord Don Zhu, The highest ranking man in the surrounding regions and The Emperors personally Lap Dog. Although she couldn't hear what was being said between Zhu and her father she could guess that it was about her father being accused of treason. Her father didn't get time to blink however as Zhu beheaded him with one slash of his sword. Shun knew to keep quiet, No matter how sick she wanted to be she couldn't die until Zhu was dead.

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This is the same story around the country, Don Zhu whispers lies of Treason to the Emperor and the emperor commands Zhu to eliminate these foes. Dozens of Clans have been destroyed... no one has the numbers to beat this for on their own. The main characters of the RPG are those that are victims of Zhus evil or those that fight against the emperor already. Don Zhu must be stopped before he becomes too powerful for anyone to stop and can seize the reins of a nation.
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Well, thats the backstory of the RP. I need feedback and depending on the feedback I'll set it up in a few weeks.
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