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Writing Read My Story?


Momiji Love
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[CENTER][COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][SIZE=1][FONT=Verdana]Well. Ha. Lured you in.
Its two stories, really.But they are short. I promise.

I was very sick last night (vomit-like sick) and I asked a friend of mine to tell me a story.
So this is his story. Its called "How Fish Got His Goodness"

So, there were this two kids, a boy and a girl,sitting on a rise-hill(not a really big hill, but highed then everything else). It was one of those nice, empty sky nights, full of stars and a tiny moon. The power was out in their neighboorhood: someone had a gunfight in the basement, took out power for the entire apartment complex. They sat, holding hands, looking up at the stars. There was a little blonde haired girl, longer hair and dark blue eyes, who sat biting her lip, looking at the boy.
the boy had grey-black hair, it was shaggy and always in his eyes, a thick green that made his eyes look black. he was always smiling - no one ever knew why. She sighed a little. '----?' She said the boys name, it sounded so childish, so funny, yet, it ment so much to him to hear it. he shook the hair out of his eyes and smiled wider. "Yes?"
"I wonder.. will you always be happy?" The boy's eyes clouded for a moment, and he look confused. "Why?" She squeezed his hand a little and looked down at her feet, wiggling them from side to side. "Mommie says we're moving.
"But.. but.. Mom hasn't said anything to me.." His eyes darkened and got watery. "I know.. Mommie says you're going away.. with daddy." He tensed up. "But.. but.." She was crying now, and he was sad. He took his hand from hers and placed it in his lap, pulling his legs up.
"..but I need you, sissie. I need you to be good." She wiped her eyes quickly and stood up, only a few inches taller then him, and stomped her foot lightly. "What did you say?" He sniffed. "I.. I need you.. to be good!" She made a growling noise at him. "NO YOU DON'T!" He sniffed again, and pushed himself up to his feet weakly. "You have to promise me, ----, right here, that you will ALWAYS be good."
He wiped one arm across his nose and breathed in deep. "But what if I can't? What if no one wants me? What if -" "Oh ----, you're so stupid! What if you waste away wondering what if? I will -always- love you, little fishhead. So who cares what anyone else wants and just be good. Not mommie, not daddy, not anyone can take that away from you." She stuck out her hand, fist closed but pinky extended, and waved it at him.
Nervously, he stuck out his hand and extended his pinky, reaching for hers. She pulled it back. "Now, don't pinkie swear unless you mean-it! Or imma come back here some-day and beat you up." He paused, and thought hard for those few precious seconds. "Okay..," his voice, low and shy, "I promise."

I really liked the story. I said that it made me sad, but happy too.
And I said that I would write him a story too. So here is mine! Its called "Princess"

Once there was this little girl. She thought she was a princess. And because she was a princess,she could do whatever she wanted. She colored on the walls,and her mom didn't care. She just sat on the couch or got yelled at by dad. She jumped on her bed and screamed at the top of her lungs,and her dad would stumble into her room and tell her to be quiet because he was tired.
She took the skinny kitties she found in her backyard and gave them parts of the sandwiches she made. Once her dad found out, and he got very mad. But not at her. He yelled at her mom. Told her that she was stupid. And hit her. The princess wondered why dad got mad at mom.She just sat and watched TV. Never did anything wrong.
Sometimes the princess would sit out on the curb in front of her house, drinking out of the glass bottles her dad left on the nightstand. The water in them had many strange flavors, some strong and some sweet. If she drank too much of daddy's water, she would get sick. Teenage moms walking their little children to the park would glance at the princess. Old ladies shook their heads,and sometimes whispered to eachother. She liked to pretend they were saying she was the prettiest princess they had ever seen.
One night, the princess' daddy came home. It was really late at night, even the streetlights were on. Daddy was very mad at mom this time. He told the princess to go out and play,because he had to talk to mom. Before the screen door slammed shut behind her, she could hear daddy yelling, and mom yelling back. A hand striking skin. More yelling. The princess put her hands over her ears. But she still heard the loud noise. It hurt her ears. She didn't hear yelling anymore. Maybe mom and daddy were done fighting. She heard the noise again.
She went back into the house, rubbing her ears. The loud noise kept replaying in them, and it still hurt. "Mom.Daddy? Are you done talking?" She wandered through the house, looking for them. Calling for them. She saw that mom and daddy's bedroom door was closed. She knew she wasn't supposed to go in there without asking, but this time she did.
"Mommy? Daddy?" Mom and daddy were sleeping on the floor. She went over to mom to try to wake her up. She knew she should never try to wake up daddy when he was sleeping. He would get really mad. "Mommy. You need to wake up." But she wouldn't. Maybe mom ate another one of her special candies that she kept in the orange bottles. She sat on mom and daddy's bed, waiting for them to wake up.
They never did, though.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/CENTER]
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[color=#CD6619]Hey there, [B]Momiji Love[/B] and I'm glad to see that you wrote your stories; however, I see one or two problems, maybe not that many. But, first of all, it seems that your stories have no [B]RATING[/B], which is the [B][u]FIRST[/u][/B] thing that is at the top of anyone's list when submitting a story, poem, etc. at the [B]OB Anthology[/B] area.

Second of all- not a problem but more of a suggestion- it would probably help people if you wrote your titles on the [B]TITLE[/B] area, that way I or Lady Asphyxia doesn't have to close your thread for no reason. I suppose this goes along with the first because with a title, you are able to place a rating.

Anyways, if you want to recreate your threads, you're more than welcome to. Please remember the rating ^_^.

THREAD CLOSED.[/color]
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