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Writing Directions to where you live - writing challenge

Roxie Faye

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[color=#9933ff]My English teacher gave us this assignment because she couldn't think of anything better for an AP class to do (she's an idiot, really). But I thought this assignment was pretty cool in general.

Read the biography for the author Stephanie Kallos, on her website: [url]http://www.stephaniekallos.com/about/bio.html[/url]

Then, present your life up until now as a series of directions to where you've lived, and what you've done in your life, following at least slightly in her style.

I thought this was kinda something cool to do; if a couple people post up the directions to their lives, I'll do the same. >_>;;; [/color]
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[COLOR=DarkOrange]that's awesome! i did one, and I ended it like she did.

[B]Directions to Where I Live[/B]

Start off in Oakland California, being sure to get caught up in rioting going on there. Get hit by an earthquake. Buy a pair of glasses. Make your mother have a baby. Go on tour with Lollapalooza. Move across the country to Virginia.

Watch the Power Rangers and buy all of their merchandise. Make self-righteous comparisons between yourself and the blue ranger. Move around a lot. Buy all of the Godzilla movies while obsessing over Jurassic Park. Support corporate America more than any other child your age.

Draw an index of every Pokemon there is. Read too much Nintendo Power magazine. Be a laughing stock for hating Grand Theft Auto and wearing a Charizard t-shirt. Grow you?re hair out to the point that you are ambiguously gendered.

Go to a gifted school in third grade. Let the cool kids play keep-away with your jacket. Hang out with your friends and enemies in the cul-de-sac for 4 years. Love your Nintendo and let your friends use you. Get called out to a group meeting where everyone gathers round and says 'we hate you.' Attempt suicide in third grade. Find your first interest in writing here. Drop out of the gifted school in fourth grade. Ignorance is bliss.

Discover pornography at 8 years old. Start dry-humping the floor everywhere you go.

Move to Florida to live with your family. Fall in love with your cousin who is strangely flirtatious. Graduate elementary school. Hand-write a magazine. Move back to Virginia, instantly forgetting all about your cousin. Dramatically expand your Yu-Gi-Oh! Card collection to be at least a fourth of your Pokemon one?s size. Move some more.

Only ever make friends with people who are friends with your little brother. Get obsessed with lame anime. Hang out with your older cousin constantly. Discover masturbation. Become best friends with it. Move some more.

Play more video games. Write some pornographic fan fiction. Forget about your contract not to cuss - in fact, from now on, cuss constantly when not around family. Become suicidal. Watch your family fall apart and pull back together just in time. Fall into a relationship with someone you?ve never met.

Move downtown into a large, but rather decrepit house. Cry for one month about how you don?t have internet and everyone but you is a different race and think you?re insane. Write an over-abundance of lame poetry under the belief that you are great. Get into an internet relationship with a 30-year old overweight woman at 14.

Fall back in love with the same person as before. Start thinking you go both ways. Spend all your time either on the computer or writing poetry while watching your brother play video games. Hate yourself. Get into a same-sex relationship for 1 week before getting scared and disclosing it. Wear nothing but sweatpants for six months. Move some more.

Spend 2 months buying prog-rock albums and reading religious books for religions you don?t even practice. Find out your old internet girlfriend was aped and impregnated in your absence. Fall back in love with her anyway. Develop multiple personalities. Switch from writing poems to writing songs. Decide you have OCD. Mentally seclude yourself. Obsess over existentialism.

Attempt suicide. Pretend to be a girl while using the internet. Write horribly grotesque porn stories and save hundreds of pictures of lesbian anime pictures to your computer. Leave the internet to go play more video games. Forget everything that happened over the last year.

Become extremely depressed and reclusive for a long while. Move again. Become obsessed with anime again. Start making friends with tons of strange people. Start looking at your past in a renewed light. Regain your sanity. Fight against bi-polarity. Start trying to make your life better. Begin meaningful projects and do only things that make you happy.

You?ve reached my door. I?d be happen if you opened yours as well. [/COLOR]
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[color=#9933ff]Interesting, and well done. You were very specific and frank. I... don't think I would ever share quite as much information about myself.

As it is, I've tried to give a fairly thorough description of my life, although I've purposely left out one detail (for I might kill someone if forced to think about it any further), and I'm sure I've accidentally left out a bunch of details. *_*; Well, here it is, directions to my life:

Start on Kenzel Ave, but move to Seneca shortly after. Learn to ice skate long before you can ride a bike. Get mini-tosses from your father and jump off the roof of his old, silver Volkswagen Rabbit so that he can catch you. Pretend to run your dad over with your Barbie Jeep. Go [u]everywhere[/u] with your mother. Learn how to spell your last name from her, in two days. Start to learn how to play the piano. Go to Disneyworld with your dad and meet his new girlfriend, whom you like. Get used to your mother getting mad at you whenever you talk about dad. Learn not to talk about him.

Move to the town just next over. Make tons of new friends that you?ve never had before, and even some really good ones. Meet some not nice kids, but ignore them mostly, because you?ve got new friends. Go to Disneyland with your dad and step-mum. Go to Boston with them the next year, and the shore after that. Go to middle school and meet your best friend in your electives classes. Go to museums with your mom and read every caption, because it's great fun. Take Algebra in the seventh grade. Get your first D in the algebra class. Find out that your mom understands, and isn?t actually mad that you got a D. Discover the life-changing entertainment form called anime and become closer with a friend who also likes anime. Talk to people online, thousands of miles away, and make friends with them. Keep it secret from your mother. Go away to summer camp with your best friend. Have such an awesome time you wish you?d done it sooner. Make friends with a boy in Geometry. Sit at the weirdo table when there aren?t any friends in your lunch, but realize these people are pretty cool in their own right. See your dad again for the first time in three years. Make friends with a Japanese girl over the summer and e-mail her even when she goes back to Japan. Get involved in ?drama? with your online friends and get kicked out of the ?cool clique.?

Go to high school and lose every friend except your BFF. Make sure your freshmen year especially sucks as your other close friend (who likes anime) totally ditches you. Halfway through freshman year, realize you don?t need cliques and talk to your close online friends again. For the first time in ages, have nothing to do over the summer. Start sophomore year especially depressed since you?ve lost almost al your friends. Listen to depressing music a lot and cry. Wish you were brave enough to jump off a building. Write letters to an online friend that you never intend to send, to keep you sane. Get stuck being paired with a know-it-all boy in Chemistry class for lab work. Pretend you hate him more than you actually do, because he probably [i]actually[/i] doesn?t like you. Realize you have a crush on him after the class changes lab partners halfway through the year. Listen to Japanese music and watch anime some more. Reconnect with the friend that ditched you (when she apologizes, of course) and have an awesome rest of the year.

Work that summer (and make money). Sit next to your crush in Spanish the next year and act like a gawky idiot most of the time. Have a lot of school work but miraculously make it through. Realize at the end that all the work made you a better student, and a better writer. Get your license and drive as much as you can. Use your ability to drive to indulge your ever-growing obsession with anime by going to a convention on it. Stay out until 12 AM in the process. Work. Get a really good band teacher next year. Make it to a starting position on the AcaDec team. Study at Borders every Saturday for ten or eleven hours. Ask your crush out on Valentines Day, all though the day is truly, honestly coincidental, and get rejected. Keep studying at Borders every Saturday. Do really well in the Regional and State Decathlons. Make it to nationals. Cry for days when you get wait-listed at your first choice college. Miss school the day after you get the letter. Take a long time to console yourself, and have others console you about the wait-listing. Try not to think about it. Go to Hawaii for Academic Decathlon nationals and have an AMAZING time. Come back ready to enjoy the rest of a great senior year. You?ve arrived at my life. What about yours? [/color]
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[COLOR=DarkOrange]You were even more specifi than me, not to mention thorough XD. I liked it, even if it was insanely long and in bright purple (though my hideous orange gives me no right to complain, lol.).

I need to go back in edit some things that were important and left out.

- go to a gifted school in third grade
- attempt suicide in third grade
- find first interest in writin in fourth grade
- discover pornography at 8 years old
- hump the ground all the time
- discover masturbation at 11. Become best friends with it.
- at 14, get into an internet relationship with an overweight 30-year-old woman.

Why are they all really dark things >_<

EDIT: ended up with even more than that, lol. [/COLOR]
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[COLOR=Gray]You've left my life.

Wonder what it's like to kiss a girl.

Become a sexual deviant. Find things screwed up and wrong incredibly hot. Go to extreme measures not to be caught masterbating to futa shota yiff bondage two-three times a night. Feel deep shame. Find shame hot.

Become apathetic towards the future; realize that life is short no matter which way you slice it, and thirty years of fun is better then ninty years of vegiburgers and excersize. Love every minute of life.

Desire to become a tank driver. Realize that you'd probably not fit in a tank anyway. Suggest driving a zamboni instead. Settle for riding lawn-mower; crash into pond. Find hilarious.

Become angsty; not because of loves lost or want to create, but because you're a cyberpunk with dial-up, effectivly a net-gimp. Write dirty limricks in response, and bitch about it to your parents. Don't get highspeed. Continue to suck at Counter-Strike and continue to miss out on hilarious YouTube videos. Consider becoming emo; realize that you're better then that.

Think of yourself as a writer. Write bad role-play posts and cliched stories before dabbeling in unique naratives; think you're a great writer with good potential. Begin to criticize your work harshly; think it's crap and you'll never be a writer. Fail to overcome these thoughts; consider becoming a professional critic.

Become a Canadian nationalist, extreme liberal socialist and rabid hockey fan. Continue to be a Canadian nationalist, alter your alignment to socialist libertarian, and become a tepid hockey analyst.

Distance yourself from the pot-smoking buddies you grew up with and attatch yourself to the nerdlingers you can't deny relating too. Find a person with the exact same sense of humour as you, who also happens to be a bigger nerd then yourself. Feel better about yourself.

Stop taking life seriously. Become an easy-going jovial fat-guy and enjoy things a whole lot more. Use a self-depricating sense of humour to amuse friends and bullies alike.

Stop watching anime.

Stop doing well in school.

Start watching anime.

Put on a pair of track pants. Nine months later, take them off and nail them your wall; lie in bed naked with it for a few nights. Yea.

Go to highschool; realize you've lived your whole life in seclusion and have no idea what's going on in the world. Be the wrong kind of laughing stock. Desperatly try and think of cool bands to relate to your peers with; fail miserably.Officially stop watching nothing but kids cartoons.

Go through a genuine phase as a rapper. Refer to yourself as AB in the third person for weeks at a time. Grow out of it, hopefully faster then I did.

Become a social reject and become uptight about being fat. Eat more in response. Become lazier. Hate life. Get a computer. Become even lazier. Enjoy life a little more.

Go to French pre-school. Get picked on by French kids; develop a hate for the language that'll last the rest of your life. Move to English school and skip the pre-school level, making you one year younger then everyone else in your school. Be labled intelligent.

Live on a dirt road in a big house in the middle of nowhere, at the bottom of a valley with no neighbours under 50, all of which speak French. Love playing in nature for the first five years of life; become bored with it and become a coach potato.

Have a mother-hen, easy-going/tempermental father, and a horrible bitch of a sister for family. Get dropped on your head at two by said sister; hate her for the rest of your life.

Get born.

Directions to my life, you say?

Kay, so I attempted to (probably unsuccessfully) to write the directions backwards to sort of spice things up a bit... there's my life, mostly. Left out some unimportant things, but it's mostly there.[/COLOR]
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[SIZE=1]I think this is a really interesting idea and I'd love to try it myself, but as usual my head gets in the way. Generally when I do something I have to do it all the way or not at all otherwise I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

Knowing this, and also knowing that there's no way I'd ever manage to fit all the points I'd like to make about my life into one writing session I gave up before I even started.

Which in a way kinda gives you a brief idea of what my life has turned me into. When I do something I have to do it all the way or not at all, which is why a lot of things I'd like to do, I never end up doing. ¬_¬ I like to think of myself as a Motivationally-Challenged Perfectionist, although most people end up calling me lazy.

Maybe I will try to write one up, who knows?

But nice job to all the rest of you though, I enjoyed dipping myself into your life for a while, don't feel too violated now![/SIZE]
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