Inculta_Bellum Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 If you don't like "bad words" then don't read this. ----------------------------------------------------------- What the hell is a Panda Shark? I'll tell you. The story begins many millions of seconds ago, in a tiny coastal town of China whose name is hard to write. Well, it wasn't actually in the town, but in the wilderness outside of the town. But I digress. Everyone knows that the reason pandas are an endangered species is because they don't like having sex. Why they don't like having sex is beyond me. But what you didn't know is that when pandas do, on that rare occassion, want some, they want it bad enough to do anything for it. This is what happened to the panda who was eating bamboo on the shore outside of a little town in China. He suddenly got the urge to screw something, ANYTHING. Without any other pandas around, or anything else of substance, the ecstacy in the panda was threatening to make him explode. In a desperate move, he waded out into the ocean and grabbed the nearest thing he could laws his paws on. It just turned out to be a Great White. Under normal circumstances the shark would have ripped the panda's head off. But today the panda was in the heat of passion. And so he committed an unspeakable act, and ass raped the poor killing machine. The deed done, the panda chucked the shark back into the ocean. Too ashamed to retaliate the shark swam off. Unfortunately, it was not to be that the shark would escape with only its dignity and virginity left behind. Nine months later, the shark layed some hundreds of eggs which had been fertilized by the panda in the attack. As the first of the baby panda-sharks broke free of its embryotic prison, the mother shark looked on in horror at the bastardizations of nature. Unable to cope with her terrible offspring, she swam close enough to a piece of coral jutting out of the sea floor so that it cut into her stomach like a long jagged knife. Many sharks then swam into the area to feast on the remains, even the newly born panda sharks. Meanwhile the Chinese law enforcement agency caught wind of the attack and began investing the rape that had been committed by the panda. Finding sufficient evidence, the case was sent to court. The honorable judge Gan Shi sentenced the panda to a life sentence that was to be served in a Hong Kong zoo. He died six years ago in an escape attempt. So there you have it. The entire sad story of the creation of the panda shark species. But what does a panda shark look like you may ask? It looks exactly like Shamu, like any killer whale. But be careful, because there are subtle differences between the two species. Both killer whales and panda sharks will kill a human being if the conditions are just right. But the panda shark will [I]enjoy[/I] it. You'll hear it laugh as it devours you. Second, all of the large black and white mammal-fish in captivity are killer whales. Panda sharks value their freedom above all else, and will eat themselves alive in order to avoid living in SeaWorld. I hope that you've learned a little something about wildlife from this. And maybe a little something about life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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