The Spectacular Professor Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 [FONT="Comic Sans MS"]The convention was in its usual state of pandemonium. Here a desperate otaku vying for the last Haruhi Suzumiya DVD, there a Naruto cosplayer in a life and death struggle against a Sasuke cosplayer. It was actually relatively quiet. Too quiet. Bob looked around. These were his kind of people. As an anime and manga enthusiast, he had always wanted to attend Sakura Con. Not like this, though. These were entirely unnecessary circumstances. He had to get it. He just had to find it before they did. Pulling out his grappling gun, he took aim at an exposed rafter and fired. Dead hit. Rising above the crowd, he glanced around. There it was. There, on the furthest table at the back of the building, sat a golden statuette of Konata Izumi. Looking down at the crowd below him, Bob noticed quite a few Lucky Star cosplayers. This was going to be tricky. Bob hauled himself up, inch by inch, until he was near the ceiling. Bingo, he found it; a fire sprinkler. Pulling out his limited edition Lupin III lighter, he flicked his wrist and held the flame to the sprinkler, which instantly activated in the heat. Withing minutes, the floor was clear of the now panicked fans. Once the coast was clear, Bob strode directly for the figurine. Scooping it up, he turned to leave. There was a rumble. Bob turned around to see a giant multicolored ball roll toward him, being pushed by a funny-looking green man with a face like a Tylenol caplet. "Why me? I never even played that game!" Bob thought, running for the door. Once outside, the coast was clear. Or so Bob thought. "Excellent work, Mr. Fourapples! Now, If you would be kind enough to hand over the kawaii (that means cute in Japanese!) little statue you're holding..." It was Weeaboo Pete, Bob's long-time nemesis. Though he was a collector of many of the same items as Bob, Pete was a bit more fanatical. Bob hated that. "Why should I hand it over?" Pete gestured. Surrounding Bob were what seemed to be an endless number of Train Heartnet cosplayers, functional Number XIII pistols at the ready. Looking around quickly, Bob pulled out a working smoke bomb he had bought at a convention earlier. Throwing it down in the faces of the imaginary assassins, he beat a hasty retreat for the airport, where a plane oddly shaped like a Blue Eyes White Dragon was waiting on the runway. "Start the engine, Nuck!" he panted, dashing full speed for the leg of the mechanical beast. Nuck Chorris fired up the engine and jumped in the back. Bob crawled into the pilot's seat and flew like he never had before. "Holycrap, is that Otaku Bob?! He's soooo awesome! I love his work! He is so lucky to be himself!!!" Bob froze. "Nuck! There's a Fangirl on this plane!" "Oh, that's just my little sister, Christy. Don't worry about her!" "I hate fangirls, Nuck! I hate 'em!" [center][B]. . .[/B][/center] "...And that is how Aliens, Espers and Time-Travelers were allowed to exist in the world of Haruhi Suzumiya. Any questions? No? Good." Bob dashed out of the classroom as quickly as he could. He had an important meeting with an important person. "Evening, Dr. Fourapples." "Good evening, Ms. Dover." Eileen Dover was a Pokèmon collector. She had called Bob over for a very special errand. "So, what did you call me for?" "I'm glad you asked. I want you to find me a first-edition, holographic, gold-lettered, mint-condition promotional Mewtwo Pokèmon card." "A chocolate-coated trading card?" "No, not chocolate-coated, mint-condition. It means 'like new.'" "Gotcha. Where do I look?" "I don't know. You'll have to find out for yourself. Are you in?" "Sure thing. I just gotta make a few calls first." "To whom?" Bob winked. "Old friends." [SIZE="1"]Okay, so here's how it goes. Introduce your character, give a small background, then have them receive a call from our friend Bob. Sorry about the length, by the way. Let's make this the best parody EVAH![/SIZE][/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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