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Posted
I couldn't sleep, so I typed this up. Watcha think?


I am going insane....locked inside my brain I find, a truly crazed yet genius mind, I cannot learn more than what is to be said, I find myself awake in bed, oh why must God torture me so? I try to go to sleep, you know, but nothing works, I watch in bed, history, but nothing?s very kind to me... As long as I have myself, I?ll never go insane, when I find myself screaming in the rain, I must be strong, this must be wrong, I can?t believe it. I must believe it. I?m locked inside my head....I can?t go to bed....The pain grows, brains I lack, am I an insomniac?
-Me, Sunday, July 07, 2002, 4:48 AM
Posted
;) good poem.
If I should rate it I would give 7.8/10
(but that's because some parts weren't [B][size=3]VERY[/size][/B] good.)
Posted
IMO... Sounds like a type of poetry called "Spoken Word" used in free-style flow sessions. Not bad...I don't really see how the rain is related to anything since you're in your bed...maybe if you replace "in the rain" with "in vein" it might flow better. Then after that take away "I must be strong" and "I must believe it." Lastly, change "The Pain...brains I lack" with "The pain grows back."
Posted
i think rico has soome great ideas..but he fails to see that poems like this are striahgt from the heart and soul... not from the logical and the straightforward.. if it doesntmake sense.. that just adds to the beautty of it..

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