Lady Asphyxia

[font=Verdana][size=1]Welcome to Otakuboards. We don't allow double posting here, so I've edited your posts into one. If you want to add more to a post, simply hit 'edit'. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]There are a few helpful places to visit; [url="http://otakuboards.com/rules.php?"][b]The Rules[/b][/url], and [url="http://otakuboards.com/faq.php?"][b]The FAQ[/b][/url] for general OB instruction. They detail what is and is not allowed. As well as that, if you check out the stickies at the top of the forum, you'll see rules that are specific to the OB Anthology. We've implemented a new policy of rating your creative threads; E for everyone, PG, PG-13, and M. Every thread has to be rated in the title, so you'll want to change that. ^.~[/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Anyway, welcome to OB. Just follow the rules and have fun. I hope you enjoy yourself. ^_^[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]I generally don't write poems, so I don't have a poem diary. But I always reccomend keeping everything you've written. There've been times when I wanted to read the very first things I've written. I realised recently that I only have 3 chapters of the first fanfiction I wrote, when I'd written something like 12, and it's really disappointing to realise that you've lost a piece of your history. It's like losing a memory.[/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Besides which, poetry is a good way to record your feelings at a particular time. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]So, yes, I'm all for it, heh. ^_^"[/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]Closed because the author requested it, although personally I quite liked the story. Sure, there are a few bits that could be improved; but no story doesn't have those bits, heh. If you decide you want the story opened again, just PM me. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Lady Asphyxia.[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]I have to admit it; I'm not into sport. But even I am getting behind this year's Olympics. The swimming especially has been absolutely amazing, in my opinion.[/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][spoiler]Wasn't the men's 4 x 100m relay amazing? The South African's were just fantastic, I was so impressed. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]I'm really looking foward to the triathlon. It turns out one of my relatives is in it and is a contender for the gold. We saw him at the Commonwealth [I think it was Commonwealth!] games a few years ago, and Mum called her parents and asked if we were actually related to him [the name was familiar but she wasn't sure] and it turns out we are, lol.[/spoiler][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]I'm so interested in the gymnastics and diving; I always watch those two events. They're just so great, heh. ^_^"[/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]I love the way the Olympics really unite almost everyone all over the world. Everyone has this feeling of togetherness and they all have something in common. I talk to my friends in England, and for once, when I mention something, they know exactly what I'm talking about! It's a great feeling to get, especially in these times.[/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Anyway, those are my two cents.[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]MoRbIdYuLiA, I have [color=black]already warned you about double posting. OB's rules do not allow it, as I have already told you. If you want to post your new poems, you'll have to start another thread.[/color][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font][font=Verdana][size=1][color=#ff0000][/color][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][color=black]Thread Closed.[/color][/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]*laughs* I don't know how to shade, actually. Like I said, I've never really done anything artistic before -- except for when I was young, and that wasn't anything technical. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]And um...*cough* Mimmithetea-stainedpartwaswherethelightcameinfromthescannernotbeingabletocloseproperly. *blush* :p[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]*laughs* Neither did I, actually. It's a huge coincidence that you posted here, because I hadn't even [i]heard[/i] of him until yesterday.[/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Tell me, what's your favorite poem of his? How did you discover him and at what age? ^_^"[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1][quote]Can you post anymore of his poems?[/quote][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][img]http://otakuboards.com/images/smilies/sigh2.gif[/img] Be careful with that. Chances are you'll be pushing the boundries of Copyright. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]As it so happens, I got out one of his books yesterday from my library because I need it for one of my assignments. So he's definately in the market. I live in Australia, and we're usually the last to get anything -- unless the writer is also Australian. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Gibran doesn't just write poetry. He also does prose, and is an artist as well. The book I have out is called [i]The Beloved: Reflections on the path of the heart.[/i] He's also written a book called [i]The Prophet, [/i]which is also in English. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]I find Gibran to be an excellent writer; his prose is just amazing and it really captures what he's trying to describe. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Anyway, the blurb for [i]The Prophet[/i] describes Gibran as 'one of the worl's most popular and influential writers.' so chances are you'll be able to find one of his books somewhere in your town. *nods*[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]In that case, my suggestion is to forget about the last part at the moment. If you feel like writing, then write whatever is in your mind. If you feel like painting, or running, or just sleeping and relaxing, then do it until you know where your ending wants to go. And listen to your novel. If it wants to go one way [and often they have a mind of their own], then let it. You can't force something to be written if it doesn't want to be, basically. In my expirience, in makes the writing flat and stale.[/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Good luck with your block.[/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][b]EDIT --[/b][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Just a little epilogue to my writer's block woes. I received a letter today which said the following:[/size][/font] [i][font=Verdana][size=1]I am delighted to advise that you have been awarded a prize of $175.00 in Class B of the [State] section of the Commonwealth Essay Competition. Congratulations.[/size][/font][/i] [i][font=Verdana][size=1]The chief examiner comments on your entry -- [b]This is another accomplished and well told story from last year's fourth prize winner in Class B. I liked the ambivalence in whether the old Greek woman is a ghost or not; and the probability that she isn't and the implications of this for what is really going on. I am impressed by the intelligence and skill which Kathryn brings to her writing. [/b][/size][/font][/i] [font=Verdana][size=1]So, yes. I personally am very pleased, because I had so much trouble, because I made myself write this story, and because it turned out so well. ^_^ Obviously I didn't do as well as last year -- this is the State Division, rather than Internationally, but I'm still incredibly proud, heh. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]So thanks for all your encouragement, guys![/size][/font]

[color=black][size=1][font=Verdana]As most of you know, when it comes to creativity, I'm more into words than pictures. Anyway, around the end of last term I got bored and stressed; exams, you know. And writing just seemed like too much hassle at that time, especially because it took so long. So I pulled out a sketchbook I had lying around -- I've always collected art stuff, but for a long time I've considered myself artistically retarded. -- and started doodling. Just cartoonish faces and such. One night I was reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and came across the Umbridge detention scenes [I think that's ambiguous enough not to need a spoiler]. And so I decided to sketch it...sort of.[/font][/size][/color] [color=black][size=1][font=Verdana]To put it bluntly, it's just a hand, with some parchment [which I don't think is very good] around it. But, yeah, anyway. I haven't drawn in years; the last thing I can remember drawing was a picture for my godmother in year..2, I think it was. *scratches her head* So this is the hand I drew..I'm not sure if it's very good or not, because like I said, I'm more into writing than art, so I never paid much attention. Coloured [badly] in pencil, but it faded in the scan, so all you can see are the dark bits. Hmm. I think that's all. [/font][/size][/color] [color=black][size=1][font=Verdana]Some comment would be much appreciated. ^_^[/font][/size][/color] [img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v41/catroyce/Art/NotLiessmall.jpg[/img] [font=Verdana][size=1]The big picture can be seen [/size][/font][url="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v41/catroyce/Art/I_must_Not_Tell_Lies.jpg"][b][font=Verdana][size=1]here[/size][/font][/b][/url][font=Verdana][size=1].[/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1] [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]EDIT -- Cropped it a bit.[/size][/font] [size=1][/size]

[quote][color=#b22222]So I guess I'm mostly saying that classic book reading is dying.[/quote][/color] [font=Verdana][size=1][color=black]I think that's also because of the stigma that seems to get attatched to classic books, and as a result of school work. Because we get [i]forced[/i] to read the stories, it becomes a chore rather than a pleasure. [/color][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]As well as that, there's also styles. Styles have changed throughout history, because of dialect and formality and what's happening in the world and what country the writer came from and so on. It's a lot harder for the modern day kids to read more formal styles because today's society is so [i]informal[/i]. I personally found it really quite hard to read [i]To Kill A Mockingbird[/i] at times because it became hard to wade through. The same happened with [i]Lord of the Flies[/i]. I think, however, as time progresses that we'll come in a full loop in regards to literature. Not only will we start to read more again -- and as you get older you generally read more than when you do when you're a teenager -- but the style will get more formal. Of course, that's just my opinion.[/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Personally, I don't read as much as I used to. But that's because I'm growing up and becoming more social and more mature; something I couldn't have done if I [i]hadn't[/i] read so many books. I myself will probably go through a loop and read a lot more later in life, but at the moment I just pick and choose my books. ^_^"[/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Of course, there's also the fact that I'm so busy reading online stories, as well. [img]http://otakuboards.com/images/smilies/tongue.gif[/img] [/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]Seeing as gendou ikari has been banned, this thread is pointless. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Closed.[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]Hi there! Welcome to OB. If you ever have any problems, feel free to PM me or the other mods. Most members would also be too happy to help you out if you have any questions. The best documents to look at would be [url=http://otakuboards.com/faq.php?][b]The FAQ[/b][/url] and [url=http://otakuboards.com/rules.php?][b]The Rules[/b][/url]. Generally if a forum has something you should read before you post it will be stickied and labelled as such. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]The FAQ is particularly helpful for new members, so make sure you check it out! ^_^[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]Look, I'm sorry, but I'm going to close this thread. There is so much spamming in here that it is ridiculous. [url="http://otakuboards.com/rules.php?#spam"]Otakuboard's Rules[/url] clearly state that you are not allowed to double post; if you want to say more, simply edit your post. Also, the [url="http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=27614"]Forum Rules[/url] say that Off Topic posts are not allowed. Added to that, your basic grammar, spelling and punctuation isn't up to par. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Thread Closed.[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]Great job! As Hevn said, it's quite a simple song, but it's got so much imagery and it's so effective at what it does that you just have to sit back and enjoy it. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]I love the sweetness of the poem, and the dream-like feel it has to it. I honestly think it's fantastic. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Well done on getting your work published. It's a fantastic effort![/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Asphy.[/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]I think, generally, a Prologue should be longer and sort of give a background of what's happened. Perhaps you should include a part where Dumbledore announces the plans for the program, and the main character's reactions..or something. [As a little aside, Gryffindor has two 'f's.][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]I like the description of 'a tall hat and a taller figure'. It's really quite a nice description. But as you go on, you ignore the second student, and it would be nice to find out who the second student was. Obviously your story is about Draco, but if you include the other student it would be more natural. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Other than that, some more description would probably be nice. Tell us about the rooms, or certain people's reactions [Like Ron Weasley's -- it'd probably be quite funny] or something. To draw the reader in. *nods* [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]But it was a good start. Please continue.[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]Takuya's right. For a thread like this to stay open, people would need to put in a [i]lot[/i] more effort. This thread started off pretty poorly, and it's gone downhill. I'm sory, btu I can't see this thread going anywhere. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Thread Closed.[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]I must say that I love Angel/Demon. It honestly reminds me of a piece I've done. Not the same, definately, but the way you describe really reminds me of that piece I did, heh. The imagery is fantastic and I really love it.[/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]As for the LotR poem, it's nice. It has a good rhythm, and it rhymes. It makes sense and isn't just random scribblings. It tells a story, it isn't melancholy as such nor overly sweet. It's a real one in a million poem, I think. It's not often a writer our age can shirk the [i]emotions[/i] and write about what is happening. Well done. ^.~[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]Nate, please don't resurrect topics that are 9 months old. It's against the rules. If it happens again I'll have to close this thread.[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]This thread would be more at home in the [url="http://otakuboards.com/forumdisplay.php?f=46"]Adventure Arena[/url]. If you take a look at the [url="http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=39627"]Adventure Arena Basics[/url], you'll see that an RPG is defined as: [/size][/font] [size=1][font=Verdana][i]Collaborative story writing, in which each player mainly controls one specific character.[/i] [/font][/size] [font=Verdana][size=1]Which is what you have here. ^.~[/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][color=black][b]Edit [/b][/color]-- The thread has already been moved, heh. ^_^[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1][quote name='NashvilleDream']But that defeats the entire purpose[/quote][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Not really. What I think they're trying to say is that we (the reader) [i]need[/i] to have a reason for this person crying. The ending you've given is like...like going to see a movie, and everything seems like it's leading up to something...only it never happens. And you leave the movie feeling disappointed. That's what has happened with this poem. While reading it, I felt like you were leading up to a great revelation, only you don't. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]So perhaps you should lead up to something like..."I am not crying for a reason/But rather a lack of reason/Why should others expirience/What I cannot?" Or something along those lines. Just something to make the poem feel like it has a point, you know?[/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Um. As for the 'am I' and 'I am' problem...wording that differently could definately help that. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Anyway, yeah. Not bad, but it does need a point, heh.[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]I'm afraid that this thread should have been posted in the[url="http://www.otakuboards.com/forumdisplay.php?f=27

[font=Verdana][size=1]Did you read the comments in the last thread? They were all to the effect of "Random isn't funny", heh. To quote my post: [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][i]Okay, well...I have to agree with what has already been said. First of all, self insertion is not conducive to good writing. When one does write self-insertion, one's ego gets in one's way mightily. Secondly, in anything written, random isn't funny. Random is possibly funny when you're standing around with your friends, but not when it's written. For some reaosn people seem to think that humour/comedy=random...but that's not the case. I'd much rather a story that has ties to what's been going on in the story. [/i][/size][/font] [i][font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font][/i] [font=Verdana][size=1]Now, I've read some of your RPG posts (specifically [url=http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?p=580041#post580041][b]this one[/b][/url]), and it's not bad. You've got a great insight into the character, and you effectively describe what the character's thinking without it feeling forced. [/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]Now, I haven't seen any stories from you, but if you could bring that into a story, I think it would be fantastic. And a lot better than this, heh. I think you have talent, heh. You seem to get inside the character's head very easily. But...I didn't like this story.[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]As Shinji said; there's nothing wrong with 'copying' other's styles. You think that a style is always original? Most writers develop a style by imitating those they admire, and then these imitations mish-mash themselves into the writer's deeply personal style. Just because this piece didn't quite work in my opinion doesn't mean that this style isn't acceptable -- it just means that (as Shinji said) more refining needs to be done. That's all, heh.[/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]Takuya, you're right. That was a completely pointless post, and it has now been deleted, and I will remind everyone in general that in these types of threads, you do need to say something other than that you like a book.[/size][/font] [font=Verdana][size=1]As for suggestions about books...the only ones I've read with Dragons in them are the...Elven Blood [Consists of Elven Blood, Elven Bane, and Elven...something, heh.] books [Anyone know the title of the series? I've completely forgotten.]. They aren't actually centered around dragons, but the main character grows up with Dragons, which is cool, heh. ^_^" I didn't actually end up finishing the series, unfortunately. I'll have to check them out of my library and re-read them, I think.[/size][/font]