Guest dayday Posted June 22, 2003 Share Posted June 22, 2003 That was good but one of the things Jesus Chicken said was right. Your poems are kind of short, but that's why I liek them. I only read if I have to or if I'm interested in something. So if your firts poem you did was long I probably wouldn't have read it and kept writing over and over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus Chicken Posted June 22, 2003 Share Posted June 22, 2003 Thankyou Dayday. I'm not trying to piss you off Ruby. I think it's called constructive criticism. You will have to get used to it sooner or later. Just don't take it as me trying to get to you. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epsilon Posted June 22, 2003 Author Share Posted June 22, 2003 Sorry to come off head strong, and I'm really void so I just rather has people talk behind my back. Just like I've always have. And yes I've constructive criticism before, so many times of people telling me how I've failed...and so I just get really pissed off. Sorry about about that. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dreams My dreams can't come true Discard all thoughts me I'll help with others, other dreams to come true Real dreams that matter Once finished with this, dreams will no longer be mine That old dream I once have Will become a faded thought Although it will no longer be my dream Dreams cane never be broken, only in the truth of lies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 I talk behind poeple's backs all the time but only if I don't like them. But if I really don't like them I'll talk right in front of their face. But I'm not doing that to you, just to let you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epsilon Posted June 23, 2003 Author Share Posted June 23, 2003 Yeah I'm crazy. And I'm glade for it. Heehe^^ Hey, dayday you hate me now don't you. ^^ Being hated, nothing new! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Withdraw I?ll withdraw my thoughts Have what I?ve said forgotten The light has been withdrawn, From the end of my tunnel Withdraw back into my Silence and my void Withdraw from the lights, Fade back into my shadows Withdraw from the world, Once again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted June 25, 2003 Share Posted June 25, 2003 I liked that one a little but not as much the others. It's like you're moving from one style to another. What happened to your fading and forgotten ones. That one was only about fading a little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epsilon Posted June 25, 2003 Author Share Posted June 25, 2003 I guess I'm not contenplating matters fast enough like I once did of my life. I need to stop playing so many video games, it's turning my brain to mush. Ok, I'll try writing like I use to again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Unknown To be unknown, is to be forgotten Unknow to the world, once found I'll fade Fading from my place, a place my shadow once was My shadow is gone It has been fadeing for years Unknown is what I am Both unknow and forgottn Can I never come back? Must I stay unknown and forgotten? For unknown and forgotten, is my sercurity and memoreies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 That's much better. I don't like this kind of stuff in real life, but for some reason they make really good poems. Maybe because it resembles some people in real life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epsilon Posted June 26, 2003 Author Share Posted June 26, 2003 Yeah, it's I like reading about this stuff too. But when it really happens to you or some one you know it's not very fun. I think I put something up like this poem before... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alone Left alone again Forgotten and faded Alone in darkness, never to see the lightHere in my loneness, in my void to stay Forgotten, faded, broken, and alone I'll stay alone Here in the shadows, the shadows I've made Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 I think you did do one like that before. I'm not really sure though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epsilon Posted June 26, 2003 Author Share Posted June 26, 2003 Ok, I went back and looked at all the poems I have. The one that this one is like is the poem "This place...." Anyways, I wrote the next one when I saw a old cage sitting and collecting dust. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Forgotten Cage I'll stay here in my cage My forgotten cage, sitting in the shadows My little place That has been fading, fading from your mind Fading from this world The forgotten cage, it wil keep fading My little place will be gone Fading, till it's thrown away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 Where did you find a cage at? That's not really something you see lying in the middle of the street. Anyway that's a good poem. Hope there's still more to come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epsilon Posted June 28, 2003 Author Share Posted June 28, 2003 Yeah, I think your right about see a cage lying around in the street. I had seen the cage lerterally(sp?) collecting dust down in our basment on shelf up high. The next one is made because of the wheather around here, we had three different types of storms. But the longest one was the huge thunder storm soo that's where I got the next poem from. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Storm Let the sound of thunder, let it block my voice The rain will wash away, every memorey of me The light of thunder, it will fade my image Once the storm has passed, I will still be here But not seen nor heard I will no longer be remembered Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 That was great. Actually, I love storms. I have this thing with wind and rain that I just can't resist. They're perfect together and can do anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epsilon Posted June 29, 2003 Author Share Posted June 29, 2003 I don't like storms them-self, I just like the rain. Rain and only rain. Anyways this next one is composed of different song lyrics because the song was made from this. The song dosen't have a title though, nether dose the poem. ~~~~~~~~~~ I can not awake, stop sleeping in this dream From this dream you soon awake This dream will be soon forgotten It will fade, and I along with it In these walls of fantasy, memoreies of the past The past will fade away Along with your forgotten shadows, and with your faded dreams Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 'These dreams and Shadows' that would work for a title. Where'd this song come from? I've never heard it before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epsilon Posted June 29, 2003 Author Share Posted June 29, 2003 Well, truly it's not a real song. When ever I'm alone I stare up at the ceilling and look at the stars on the roof in the dark. (Glowing stars, in a purple room makes you think of strange things) Then I hear little songs playing in my head. So this song exsist but only in my head. So, yeah...if I sing it out loud people think I crazy because of the lyrics to the song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 Okay, you might want to see a pyschiatrist about that. Little voices singing in your head aren't really that normal. But actually, I wrote a song before. I stopped singing it in public about a year ago. People actually clapped when I sung too. I'm good at singing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epsilon Posted June 29, 2003 Author Share Posted June 29, 2003 Cool, you can sing...well every one can sing but I'm means so that people clap. The only thing I can really do besides, write, and fighting styles, is draw. I'll be getting my site for my art work soon. And I should see some one about the voices, but I don't think I will....for certain resones. Ok, this time I'm posting two things. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Crazy... I was crazy once, they locked me up in the rubber room It's cold in the rubber room Cold as the deepest ground The ground....What to know what lives in the ground Worms....Wha!?! Oh well that's life!What's life? Life is a magzine that cost a dollar .99 Now that's crazy. Crazy.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And then it goes on like that so I'll end there. It was made up by one of my friends, Cesaca. It was all most of the kids said for about a week. Ok, so that was just a fun one. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sanity I'm finding my way back to sanity Friend to same is my name The shame of being different, the crowd of those forgotten Fall back into the shadows If my sanity is watching and seeing the light, for the first time in years Sanity is no different, from what I once had I'll saty for gotten and faded That is my sanity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 Sorry, I didn't post up immedeitly after you did. I had to get off a nine and it was 9:04. That crazy poem was crazy but wish I could find a .99 magazine. And let's see sanity it is the same as being forgotten. Nobody comes to see or get you and soon they forget about you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epsilon Posted June 29, 2003 Author Share Posted June 29, 2003 Being forgotten, fading away, and sanity are all mostly the same to me. Here's another one made out of titles...but they're titles to chapters and a few of these have yet to be written. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Broken Glass The glass shards scarrted round Broken live come and go, always just to pass I've waited so long, so long for my broken dreams I faded out of reality Reality has passed me by Forogtten I stand, with the broken glass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 Your poems made form titles are real good. Try some more of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epsilon Posted June 29, 2003 Author Share Posted June 29, 2003 Ok, I think this is from a book that had gotten destoryed by a magnet. The book was called Lily Daggers....I had loved making that book, but sadly it's gone now. :bawl: Anyways these are the only titles I remeber from it. One day once I find out what I was writting again, I'll start typing up the book again. (I pick really funny names for my books) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Title.....(don't have one) White lily fade from this place Be forgotten of 100 years, only to return to sorrow The pain been made for you and only you, in the shadows of the war There you will be forgotten You can't escape the pain But you may try, try to be remebered here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 I don't see how those chapters would fit together in a book. If they could it must be a very interesting one. Besides that that's a good poem. If I ever gave titles (or chapters for that much) to my stories I would definetly try it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epsilon Posted June 30, 2003 Author Share Posted June 30, 2003 The farthest I had gotten in that book was only 131 pages....sad. Ok, I'm going to try and make a poem that rhyms. The poem won't make any sense cause I really can't rhyme. So mustly random words that fit togeter. ~~~~~~~~~~~ (No title) Water flows by as so dose time In the light and the might In the way to fight Pass the darkness and the light.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~ I don't know any thing that really rhyms, I can't write things that rhym. Nothing above even rhyms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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