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Anime Things you'll never hear on Yu-gi-oh

Guest erin

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Yugi Vs. Bandit Keith!

Yugi and Tea were walking to school once again that day, when they saw a fortune teller...

Tea: Hey, what's my fortune?

Teller: You will die.

Yugi: And mine?

Teller: I need a personal item to predict a future...

Yugi: But you just read Tea's-

Teller: No I didn't. Here, try now.

Tea gives him a random object.

Teller: You will die.

Tea: My God, this guy sucks.

Yugi: Wait, I'll try. *Gives Puzzle*

Teller: You will die. *Runs off with puzzle*

Yugi: YAY! Er...>_> I need that puzzle back! Damn! I'll chase him, Tea, you stand here pointlessly and do nothing!

Yugi ran down the alleys, all of which had...arrows, pointing the way. He ran, and eventually arrived at a Warehouse.

Yugi: Guess I gotta go in.

He went in, and heard a familiar voice calling to him....

Teller: Hello little Yugi! It's time to duel! If I win, I get to take your Millennium Puzz-WAIT!? The hell is this!? I thought I wanted to kill Dark Yugi!

Roger Slifer: No you don't. You want the puzzle.

Teller: Weirdo...anyways, let's play then.

Yugi stepped up to duel the mystery man (Who was revealed in my topic title >_>;;;).

Teller: I set a monster.

Yugi: So, you're chickening out!? I play Celtic Guardian!

Teller: ...With monsters like that, YOU should be the one chickening out. And it's called "Strategy", dumbarse.

Yugi: Celtic Guardian, attack!

Teller: A machine, My Cyber Jar!

Yugi: >_> That's a rock.

Keith: >_> Now, I'll explain it's effect horribly! We each draw 5 cards!

Yugi: Silver Fang, defense!

Teller: Meet Mechanical Chaser, and Ground Attacker Bugroth!

Yugi: How do you do?

Teller: >_>;;; Now, I play Machine King! (ATK: 2500) Machine King, jackpunch attack!

Yugi: All these machines...wait...you're Bandit Keith!

Keith: That's right Yugi. And I'm being controlled! My master found me down at the bottom of that pit, and took control of my mind! He sounds strangely like the Green Goblin, but he's taking care of my mind nicely!

Yugi: Gasp! I'll just set a monster. ;_;

Keith: I play Megasonic Eye! (King's ATK: 2600) Machine King, attack!

Yugi's defense died...


Bakura: Yay, I sense two Millennium Items nearby! I NEED THEM! AHAHAHAHA! *Jams Millennium Eye into eye* Still aint workin...X_X

Back to duel...

Keith: Make a move already!

Yugi: Cheapo, using Epy's scene change to say that. >_> I play Gaia The Fierce Knight and Curse of Dragon!

Keith: Illegal, but hey, it's Duelist Kingdom rules.

Yugi: Now, Polymerization! I'll attack Mech Chaser! (Keith's LP: 1250) (King's ATK: 2500)

Keith: Good, Yugi! But what will you do, when I switch the weaker monsters to defense-

Yugi: Scream. AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Keith: ...And play Machine Conversion Factory on Machine King! (ATK: 2800)

Yugi: Laugh. ROTFL!!!

Keith: Attack! (Yugi's LP: 1800)

Yugi: I play Makiu, The Magical Mist! Then I play Summoned Skull, and shock that King! (Keith's LP: 850)


Tea: Hey Joey, Yugi is dueling with his life at stake! Let's go find him!

Joey: Meh, happens every episode...

Back to duel...

Yugi: Now YOU'RE stalling! ^_^ PWNED
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[COLOR=#503F86]We've had this thread before... it ended up being closed because of the poor quality of a lot of the stuff inside it- it more or less became SPAM. Really, it belongs in the Poetry, Fan Fiction and Literature forum anyway, but I'd be willing to give it another go if people can put effort into what they write. I'm not trying to discriminate against people's senses of humour, but if something is going to be done it's got to be done in the best possible way. Especially if it's close to SPAM as it is.[/COLOR]
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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Skyechild91
[SIZE=4][FONT=century gothic][COLOR=orangered]Okay, now THAT was hilarious! ::falls out of chair because of laughing so hard.::[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]
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Mwee. This sounds fun.


[i]Yugi and some random opponent are in a duel for some reason or another. Yugi consults Yami quite calmly.[/i]
Yami: No, Yugi! You mustn't lose faith! We can still win this if we believe in the Heart of the Cards!
Yugi: No, we can't!
Yugi: Hello, Yami, are you even paying attention? We only have 50 lifepoints, no monsters or traps on the field and it's HIS TURN!!!!!!!
yami: Oh. Well, in that case, we are screwed!
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Things you may hear later on in the long run, but probably not anytime soon:

Kaiba: Yugi!! Joey!! Anyone, HELP ME-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E!!! *cries like a baby*


Mokuba: No offense, Seto, but sometimes you can be such a jerk!


Mai: I'm sick of the Harpy Lady cards. From now on, I'm going to use fiends!


Joey: *in the middle of his latest duel* Aw man, I'm missing my favorite soap opera!


Tristan: *sounding like The Fonze* Ayyyyy.


Tea: Why am I always cheering the guys on the sidelines? Everybody should know that I'M the number one duelist of all time!


Yugi or Yami: I'm thinking about getting a haircut...
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Mokuba: I'm tired of always getting kidnapped. I know! *runs to the phone.* Hello Child abuse I'm Mokuba Kaiba. I've always been kidnapped since my parents died and when my brother took me in. ..... Yes I'll hold.

*car drives up in a few minutes. Men come out and drag Seto out and throw him in the truck and drive away.

Mokuba stands there puzzled.
Mokuba: Yah I get the whole company to myself. *runs into his room and plays with his toys. *

Sorry if that was bad.
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  • 2 weeks later...

ROTFLMAO!!! :rotflmao: Those are soooo funny! Hmmm... let me try...

[u]Pegasus:[/u] I'm going to take over Duke's gaming shop! Hahahahahaha! *laughs menacingly*

[u]Joey:[/u] Meeeeow.

[u]Marik:[/u] I swear to protect the Pharaoh for all eternity!!

[u]Shadi:[/u] Why am I looking through people's minds when I can take over them?

[u]Ishizu:[/u] The Winged Dragon of Ra will belong to Kaiba... No wait... Yugi... no, Marik? Joey? Mai? Urrrgh...

[u]Duke:[/u] Maybe I should consider becoming a duelist...

[u]Kaiba:[/u] Here, Ishizu, here's your God card. *hands Obelisk over*

[u]Serenity:[/u] Aaaaah! I completely forgot that Joey made it to the finals! *cries*

[u]Strings:[/u] Life is good! *dances around*

[u]Arkana:[/u] My love... *kisses Tea*

[u]Mokuba:[/u] Grrr... Why the heck did Seto rip up that last Blue Eyes? I want it... *sneaks into Seto's room*

[u]Weevil:[/u] Huh? Grrr... Go away, fly! Shoo! Out! Get off me! You... :cussing:

[u]Espa Roba:[/u] (during a duel) Hey! You up there! With the funny blue hair! Quit spying on me!

[u]Pegasus:[/u] *watches his favorite bunny cartoon show* Oh! Dinner's getting cold! *runs into kitchen*

[u]Marik:[/u] Odion, you shall be my next mind slave!!!

[u]Kaiba:[/u] (when Marik is about to send Mai to the Shadow Realm) Hey! That's against the rules! You're disqualified, Marik Ishtar!!

[u]Keith:[/u] This time, I'll win a duel without cheating!
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All the ones I've read here are soo funny!!!!!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: y gave it a shot, I'm really not funny but here I go..

Since we're closer to the holyday season, I tried to make them a little christmassy...(some of them...)

A little kid yelling at Yami Bakura: "Hey momy, it's the nice and caring Santa!!!"


Yugis friends go to his house and find his head planted in a planter and his Grandpa tells them: "Since we've been having some though times... To save money, Yugi's hair now doubles as a Chritmass tree!!!!"


Yami Malik singing: "Where is the Love?"...(ok I don't think that was a good one...)


Everybody (except Mai) telling Téa (or Anzu) to Shut up!!!!!!! and stop talking about that stupid friendship, thay don't care!!!!!!!


Yami or Yugi (or both) saying: "The Heart of The Cards?? Who needs that pile of nonesense?????? Let's just win this so I can go home and watch my soap opera, I heard Fred will tell Mary that he loves her......!!!!!!!"( Just took some inspiration from some girls in my class, there lives are practically based on soap operas or "novelas" as we call them here...)


Mikuba saying: "I actually think Kaiba is the biggest jerk on this planet and I just act interested in him so he'll give me the company!!!!"


Some guys dressed in black rush into the room and say: "Master Kaiba, it's your brother..., HE'S BEEN KIDNAPPED!!!" Kiaba answering: "Soo what else is new? and did you bring me my coffe?? I ASKED TO SPOONS OF SUGAR, I TASTE ONLY ONE!!!"

I'm not really funny :sweat: but I gave it a try....and if you see mistakes, sorry but English isn't my native language soo I tend to mispell it a lot:cross:
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Guest InuyashasLover
Whoa...ok...but I still don't understand why we do and don't care about what we hear on Yu-Gi-Oh!?

:demon::demon: :demon: :demon: :demon: :demon: :demon:
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by InuyashasLover [/i]
[B]Whoa...ok...but I still don't understand why we do and don't care about what we hear on Yu-Gi-Oh!?[/B][/QUOTE]

This is called [i]parody writing[/i]. Basically, we're making fun of the show.
-----------------------------Rebecca Jokes------------------------------------
Rebecca: I have something to tell you... Teddy is possesed by the devil and controls me.
Teddy: *in deep voice* Yup-yup, that's right everyone! AND TEDDY WANTS SOOOOOOOOOOULLLLLLLLLS!

Rebecca: Hey guys, guess what!
Yugi: What is it?
Rebecca: Teddy... *holds up Teddy*
Teddy: *"speaks"* WANTS BRAINS! MWAHAHA!

Rebbecca: I decided to give up Teddy. I'm going to become a ventriloquist now!

Rebecca: ...Teddy and i think your hair looks good, Yugi.
Yugi: ^^ Thank-you!
Rebecca: *starts gnawing on Yugi's hair*
Yugi: :eek: MY hAIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRR! *runs off*
Rebecca: Heeheehee!
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[B]Pegasus:[/B] No, Croquet, no fine wine and cheese today. I think I'll just have a nice and greasy Happy Meal.

[B]Serenity:[/B] I'm so glad that I can see again. *walks into a stop sign*

[B]Joey:[/B] Serenity....who?

[I]Yugi:[/I] Yes! The one card that can win this duel for me! Go, Dark Magician!

[I]Duelist:[/I] Umm...that's the Feral Imp.

[I]Yugi:[/I] Oh, heh, wrong card. ^_^;

[B]Marik:[/B] I wonder if I can make [I]myself[/I] into a Mind Slave....

[B]Bakura:[/B] And then all the Millenium Items shall be mine! Muahahaha-
*Ring jumps off Bakura's chest and skuttles away on spider-like legs*
Wait! [I]Come back![/I]

[B]Solo Tremaine:[/B] Whoah...How'd I get here?
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Jounouchi: Ey Malik, want to play a nice, [i]friendly[/i] game of basketball wit me, Yugi, and Honda. Make it 2 on 2.

Malik: Sure. Can I be on your team?


Miho(from the FIRST season of Yu-Gi-Oh! which was not aired in the US): Honda, would you like to go on a date with me?

Honda: No. I must work at Burger World more so I can save up to get my duel disk.

Now you know damn well Honda(Tristen)isnt ABOUT to turn Miho down.


Theif Bakura: Hey Yugi, would you like to SELL your sennin puzzle to me?

Mutou Yugi: How much are you willing to pay?

Theif Bakura: $5

Mutou Yugi: *thinks* Okay.

Mou Hitouri No Yugi: AIBOU! You would sell me for $5?!

Mutou Yugi: Oh yeah, you're right. Give me $5 AND some noodles, then we've got a deal.

Mou Hitori No Yugi: Thats better.
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  • 3 weeks later...
:lol: Hahaha these are funny. Let's see...

Bakura (when he duels Marik in the BCF): Ooh, looky! I'm disappearing! There goes my arm! There goes my leg! Wait a minute- This is BAD!!! I get it now! Oh CRAP!!!
Marik: Jeebus, it took you long enough.
Bakura: *giant sweatdrop*

Okay that sucked...

Tea/Anzu: You're all a bunch of PANSIES!!! Someday I'm gonna eat you, Yami. Then I WILL BE PHARAOH!!!
Tristan/Honda: Tea, did you steal my meds again?
Tea: Nooo... Oh look, a butterfly. I can make it my slave and force it to eat Malik...
Tristan: I guess that answers my question.

Where do come up with this stuff???
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Guest IsaacGokou
I have one,here goes
Marik:Your my slave now Yami
Yami:Holds up mirror grining
Yugi:Runs out of the puzzle skipping along singing-I'am a little tea cup...
Marik:Your slave now Marik,LISTEN TO ME I SAY!!!!Ahhh...Then head explodes.
Tea:Stupid Yami,we where supposed to go out tonight.
Joey:I hate you Mai.
Yugi:In a stupid trans.
Yami:Tea bites,I need a hotter chick.
Kaiba:I want Pegasus back.
Marik:Gets head back-Derrrrrrr,like Yugi,but even more stupid.
Tea:Beats Yami to death.
Tea:Not you get back here,it was your turn to be on th bottom.
Yami:Ahhhhhh....But Tea....Its uncofterble.
Tea:TO FREAKING BAD,now you stay there until i'm ready
Tea:Come watch me and Yami,only a dollar.
Everyone:Here's 100 dollars,how long can we stay???
Tea:100 hours.
Yami:Ahhhhh,*******,i'm gonna be tired in the morning!!!!
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Hehe, I made my own list. It's not that funny, but whatever.

Bakura (when he duels Marik in the BCF): Ooh, looky! I'm disappearing! There goes my arm! There goes my leg! Wait a minute- this is BAD!!! I get it now! Oh CRAP!!!
Marik: Jeebus, it took you long enough.
Bakura: *giant sweat drop*

Anzu: You're all a bunch of PANSIES!!! Someday I'm gonna eat you, Yami. Then I WILL BE PHARAOH!!!
Honda: Anzu, did you steal my meds again?
Anzu: Nooo... Oh look, a butterfly. I can make it my slave and force it to eat Malik...
Honda: I guess that answers my question.

Seto: Mokuba, say hello to your new uncle, Jounouchi!!!
Mokuba: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! *runs away*
Jounouchi: You said your brother would like me, Seto-kun.
Seto: How could anyone hate a cute widdle mutt like you?
Jounouchi: =^-^=

Otogi: Well, I first auditioned for Fez on That 70?s Show?
Honda: O_o *backs away slowly*

Grandpa: Yugi-kun? WHAT?S GOING ON IN THERE?!?!?!?!?!
Yami: Uh-oh?*turns scarlet*
Shizuka: Busted!!!
Yugi: What are YOU doing here???
Shizuka: Oops?

Weevil: I?m such a loser?
Rex: We all KNOW that, Weevil. *sweat drop*

Pegasus: Kaiba-boy!!! See, my bunny-wunny likes you!
Seto: Go shove that Gorgonzola cheese up your-
Jounouchi: Seto! That?s not nice! Now go to my room!
Seto: Yes master?

Marik: Lovely day, isn?t it?
Bakura: Indeed. Oh look, a little birdy.
Marik: How cute. ^-^
Bakura: But not as cute as Ryou.
Marik: Oh, I agree. Would you care for some toffee?
Bakura: That would be delightful, thank you. ((Etc etc etc))

Jounouchi: O_O *faints*
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  • 2 weeks later...
I know that this won't be funny, but here it goes...

Honda: I hate you, Serenity. I'm leaving you for Dukey!
Deblin: I love you, Honda!
Honda: I love you too, Dukey!
Serenity: Figures... *sigh*

Bakura: Now, it's time to clean the ravine!
Malik: Oh my! Look at all this garbage!
Bakura: It's just, plain horrible!
Malik: Don't cry, Bakura.
Bakura: *cries* Don't people care about the environment!?

Jonouchi: I'm a loser. I can't do anything...
Yugi: It took you that long to realize it? No wonder you're so stupid...
Jonouchi: *cries*
Serenity: Loser...

Grandpa: YUGI!? *has a heart attack*
Yugi: Crap...
Seto: Oh no! Are you all right!?
Yugi: Kaiba, he has a heart attack every day. Don't worry about it...
Yugi: Get back over here, you sexy thing!
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  • 3 weeks later...
Here's some more:

[u]Joey:[/u] Whoooo! Woof woof! Goooo Duke!
[u]Duke:[/u] Uhhhh... Joey? I think I like you better as a cat.
[u]Joey:[/u] Fine. Meeeeow.
[u]Duke:[/u] No I mean CHANGE YOUR COSTUME, STUPID!!! *throws dice at Joey* (Maybe he is better off as a dog now...)

[u]Noah:[/u] *appears in front of Kaiba* Let's duel!
[u]Kaiba:[/u] Think fast! *punches Noah in the head*
[u]Kaiba's Stepfather:[/u] Hmmmm... Kaiba's a pretty smart guy... He'd make a great head of my company... As for Noah, he's a virtual nut!

In Kaiba's Virtual Pod:
[u]Joey:[/u] Yay! We've finally beaten the game!
[u]Mokuba:[/u] (still in the princess's costume) Hey Seto! Let's get out of here.
[u]Kaiba:[/u] Ummmm... You're not Mokuba, are you?
[u]Mokuba:[/u] Of course I'm not. I'm a princess.
[u]Kaiba:[/u] Oh, right...
[u]Mokuba:[/u] Farewell! *sends home the princess disguised as Mokuba*
[u]Kaiba:[/u] Hey where did Mokuba go? *sees a Mystical Elf card on the floor where Mokuba was* What's this elf doing here?
[u]Mokuba:[/u] Hehheh. Now I can stay in this pod as long as I want and rule all the virtual people! Thanks, bro, for making my dreams come true.
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Guest Dew_Shan
Neeheehee (Weevil Underwood laugh)... nice ones, everyone!!
Yami: YOUR ALL LOSERS!!! *Storms off*
Tea: ...what does that have to do with friendship?
Duke: *Playing with dice*
Serenity: Hiya, Duke!!
Duke: *accidently flicks die at Serenity* *Hits Serenity's eyes*
Serenity: AAAH! I'm BLIND!!!...again. *MAJOR sweatdrop*
Noah: You are an insignificant bug, Se-TOE (has anyone else noticed he talks like that?).
Yugi: I HATE YOU YAMI!! *Runs out of room crying*
Yami: Dude, you can't run away from me, I'm around your frickin' neck.
Yugi: Oh... I knew that.
Tea: SUUURE you did.
Did they suck? *Sweatdrop*
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[COLOR=#503F86][SIZE=1][b]I've been deliberating over whether to close this for some weeks now, and I have come to the conclusion that it's not really adding an awful lot to the boards anymore, so I'm having done with it. If this thread pops up again, I'll close it without hesitation next time.

If you feel you want to write a full-length Yu-Gi-Oh parody, the Poetry, Fan Fiction and Literature forum is for you.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/b]
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