Writing The Final Reckoning

[Guest sixthcrusifix]

In the end, i thought i won
The pages, gone and the book was done
But then you stood there, with a gental sigh
and i saw a tear fall from your eye..
And from a glance, my own eyes did see
NOT really you staring back at me, not really
but that part of you i always missed
each time we hugged, each time we kissed
When it was done, We hadn't won
so I went home, heart full of ache
one more surprize, and it would break
For you I thought, that i had lost
And getting you back, would have no cost
........
so the sands of time stopped spinning,
The world that i knew stopped running
The clack of my heart stopped churning and i was dead.
Deep like blood, a crimson unmatched,
The passions of my love were dark red
red like the thorniest rose and blue
like the saddest song. My life
was incomplete and my soul was Black.
But in my hellish hole I found a light,
I held on to it, The light of my hope
the hope that one day, you would just run up and ...
Embrace me, Wrap your warm arms around me
Kiss me with your blush lips,
And as if i was but anything a teller of fortunes...
You were ther, Your body unsctratched your skin
Afine hue your being a Reality. And you ..
You came to me and I knew
That is was you
Yes, just when I was Without hope
You were there, As if you had always been, never away
Dont ever leave me........I love you
Fovever _ _ _ _ _ _


-Sixy

PS: Do you know what this poem was about? Here is a clue, but don't take the clue too seriously, But at the same time, take it into consideration!
The answer will be revealed in a month.

[sakura13]

*clap*

[Guest sixthcrusifix]

Please mitch, If the above post seems spammy, Just let it be, she's new and i dont wanna write it again.
Anyway, Is clap good? Sounds good, thanx

[wiccansamurai]

I thought it was pretty good, but the ryhming scheme was boring. And, please, capitalize your "i"'s. Its also highly concrete, and didn't evoke any emotion in me at all. With how emotional I am, I'm surprised at the amount of poems that do nothing to me.

And leave Mitch alone, he does his job great.

[Kanariya]

[size=1][color=chocolate]I agree with wiccansamurai. It was pretty good, but it didn't really bring sympathy. It was pretty good, try better next time![/size][/color]

[Guest sixthcrusifix]

Okay, Thank you for all of the nice comments, BUT STOP AGREEING WITH THE ABOVE PEOPEL! See the line in the middle of the poem??? Above that is what they read, The rest does not even rhyme so how the heck can the rhyming scheme be boring ??? There is none! By the way, If you wanna good rhyming scheme the look for the thread called good witch, by me, Thats a beuty.

[Link Himura]

Wow. Not half bad. Not even a quarter bad.I just assumed it was Kurama + mirror.

[Kitty]

[color=blue][size=1]It was nice, but like the others said, the rhyming got boring and it seems confusing. It is still pretty good.

In my opinion, I like short poems. You know, about 8 to 12 lines, but probably because those are the only ones I can actually write well.

~Short Poem Maker~[/color][/size]

[Vicky]

[SIZE=1][B]It was okay, but I do agree with the others. Unlike Kitty I love long poems, and I'm not too keen on short ones, but I myself write short ones. Like everything else it could do with some work, but it isn't bad. I don't write poems anymore, I write stories now, so I can't speak bad words.[/SIZE][/B]