RicoTranzrig Posted November 5, 2001 Posted November 5, 2001 [COLOR=darkblue]Take this for example.... Someone you're really close to and trust with your emotions goes behind your back and breaks that trust... Yet, they apoligize... What or how long does it take to regain your trust for them?[/COLOR]
mornigndew Posted November 5, 2001 Posted November 5, 2001 [color=blue] Depend, how important how important the trust is? Is this the first time that person break the trust? I can easily forgive that person if it's the first time, but if you trust that person with your emotion, I find it's very difficult to gain back the trust. It'll take awhile, or never. I'm a type of person who think about the negative more than possitive, so it's very hard for me to forgive someone[/color]
Anna Posted November 5, 2001 Posted November 5, 2001 good question. I kinda test people who betray me and then apologize. It depends on their sincerity. If they sound like they really mean it, and they almost, in a way, kiss up for their mistake, I give them a second chance. I don't give third chances tho. I don't stay mad, and I usually keep the friendship, but I don't trust them anymore.
RicoTranzrig Posted November 5, 2001 Author Posted November 5, 2001 [COLOR=darkblue]...not trusting a person again...it's tough when trust means so much. I forgive the person...but it's just not the same afterward. It sorta broke me in two or something...I'm always suspicious and I can't be as close.[/COLOR]
mornigndew Posted November 5, 2001 Posted November 5, 2001 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by RicoTranzrig [/i] [B][COLOR=darkblue]...not trusting a person again...it's tough when trust means so much. I forgive the person...but it's just not the same afterward. It sorta broke me in two or something...I'm always suspicious and I can't be as close.[/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE] [color=blue] I know, it's tough. It's like someone stab you with a knife (especially when someone really close to you break your trust), it hurt a lot. Even you can forgive them, but your feeling toward them is different. [/color]
Lady Macaiodh Posted November 5, 2001 Posted November 5, 2001 it depends on how i found out about the betrayal. if they confess & apologize, i might be able to let it go eventually. but if they're only apologizing b/c they got caught... then i would have no inclination to even try to trust that person again. it would be a waste of time.
Anna Posted November 5, 2001 Posted November 5, 2001 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by RicoTranzrig [/i] [B][COLOR=darkblue]...not trusting a person again...it's tough when trust means so much. I forgive the person...but it's just not the same afterward. It sorta broke me in two or something...I'm always suspicious and I can't be as close.[/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE] yeah. We're taught to forgive and forget. Well, that's fine and everything, but like falling down and scraping your knee, there's a tiny scar that always stays. Of course, people are imperfect, and all including ourselves are prone to mess up. If this person was really close to you and is really trying hard to get you to forgive them, maybe you ought to give them another chance. But above all else, follow your instincts. I know I'm easily hurt, and after being burned once I stay away from what caused the pain.
BabyGirl Posted November 5, 2001 Posted November 5, 2001 [color=deeppink]What's wrong, Rico dear? We haven't talked in a while...perhaps I shall change that... Trust...is a very personal matter. It all depends on your beliefs and your personal values. I can honestly start trusting a person after they appologize...which may be a good quality as much as it is bad...[/color]
GinnyLyn Posted November 5, 2001 Posted November 5, 2001 *shakes head in sympathetic agreement* It really hurts when you have your trust broken. Like a rug yanked From under me I hit the ground (The world is different From down here) You dug your heel Into my back Like some sharp knife (A back stabber? You? Why?) I lay there in disbelief (What did I do to make you This way?) You didn't care You laughed! (You rejoice in my sorrow?) You picked up the fragile glass smashed it to the ground And walked off (You do not care? Or do you?) I simply lay here In disbelief Never to trust Again? ([i]What did I do To make you This way?[/i]) I had a person in my life, break my trust three times the romantic way, and twice in the friendship way. I kept forgiving, and forgiving, to a fault. I am only now learning that life is not like tv--some people do not change, sadly, and even more disheartening, I need to learn that and walk away. Being near this person is detremental to me, for whenever I am near him, I feel as a failure, that I did something to make him betray me. It hurts. I have been told time and again...and again, to point [i]au naseum[/i], that it is not my fault, nor should I feel that way. He made his choices, but I do not have to pay for them. Don't tell me to keep forgiving him, and it will be all right. I've been doing that. This has been going on for eight years. Some things you have to let go in this life. No matter how much it hurts.
GinnyLyn Posted November 5, 2001 Posted November 5, 2001 Now, of course my last post is an example of worst case scenario. For the most part, close people tend to be sincere with their apologies. And you'll soon learn just how much your friendship means to them. Unless they make a habit of breaking your trust--then that's questionable. But for the most part, although it hurts, honest sincere peeps try to stay away from the broken trust bit. And even when it comes up, you should be gentle but firm with your friend, tell them how they broke your trust, and why you don't like that. In the long run, the stormy parts of friendship bring friends that much closer together...or that much farther apart. It all depends on how the two of you face it.
RicoTranzrig Posted November 5, 2001 Author Posted November 5, 2001 Deep insight... BabyGirl, I think you know the story and I dont really want to expose it...I'm trying hard to regain my trust for a specific person...but as I've known, some people don't change and history repeats...but this time, I'm uncertain...and I loose it sometimes because my feelings for that person are incredibly strong ...I don't want to loose that person.
mornigndew Posted November 5, 2001 Posted November 5, 2001 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by RicoTranzrig [/i] [B]Deep insight... .I'm trying hard to regain my trust for a specific person...but as I've known, some people don't change and history repeats...but this time, I'm uncertain...and I loose it sometimes because my feelings for that person are incredibly strong ...I don't want to loose that person. [/B][/QUOTE] [color=blue] May be you should give that person another chance. If he/she do it again, then that's the he/she is. (sorry, if it's harsh). It hurt very much when the person you really really care break a trust. Though, you don't want to lose that person, but if that person keep doing it, I think you should let go. It hurt to let go, but if it's keep going, you'll hurt more. Some just never change the way they are, and sometime, you have to learn to let go, even you don't want to. [/color]
RicoTranzrig Posted November 5, 2001 Author Posted November 5, 2001 [COLOR=darkblue]I know...I sure thought that she was the right person, after I found out, I'm not so sure anymore...Yet she's helping me get through it. It'll take a long time to undo the damage...[/COLOR]
Lady Macaiodh Posted November 5, 2001 Posted November 5, 2001 ginny lynn, that poem was amazing... & i'm not the type to give out compliments on other people's poetry... i'm very picky.
RicoTranzrig Posted November 5, 2001 Author Posted November 5, 2001 [COLOR=darkblue]Trust is ever so fragile, like a crystal shard. When it's broken, it's hard, almost impossible to put back together. No way again will it ever be the same. Now that I think it's happening all over again, it's as if those shattered fragments were broken even further, to dust. When I felt the way I did about this person, that didn't mean she could let herself go to other people. I hate to sound selfish, but it's just not fair for her to treat me like that. If anything, she should be the one trying to mend my trust for her...[/COLOR]
Guest Posted November 5, 2001 Posted November 5, 2001 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by RicoTranzrig [/i] [B][COLOR=darkblue]Take this for example.... Someone you're really close to and trust with your emotions goes behind your back and breaks that trust... Yet, they apoligize... What or how long does it take to regain your trust for them?[/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE] [color=darkblue][size=1][b] Well it depends on what the person told someone. Well first i would break their face into a million pieces from rage. Then I would hulimate that person in some way. Then i would forgive them.[/color][/size][/b]
RicoTranzrig Posted November 5, 2001 Author Posted November 5, 2001 [COLOR=darkblue]Heh, okay...but what if the person was a girl that you cared about...? Would you still break 'em into a million pieces and humilate em?[/COLOR]
mornigndew Posted November 5, 2001 Posted November 5, 2001 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Forte [/i] [B] [color=darkblue][size=1][b] Well it depends on what the person told someone. Well first i would break their face into a million pieces from rage. Then I would hulimate that person in some way. Then i would forgive them.[/color][/size][/b] [/B][/QUOTE] [color=blue] Forte, that's very cruel, especially to the you really care [/color]
Stormbringer Posted November 5, 2001 Posted November 5, 2001 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by RicoTranzrig [/i] [B][COLOR=darkblue]Take this for example.... Someone you're really close to and trust with your emotions goes behind your back and breaks that trust... Yet, they apoligize... What or how long does it take to regain your trust for them?[/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE] It takes a very long time...... Sometimes nothing at all will work...... I've lost trust for a very good friend because he indirectly stabbed me in the back.... I'll never trust him again.... barely speak to him anymore.... see him even less..... And he never apologized, even though he's at fault. He'd never admit to being wrong if it would save his life. In his mind, he's always right. That will probably be the undoing of his very life, and it's already started to undo friendships.....
Lotus Posted November 5, 2001 Posted November 5, 2001 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by RicoTranzrig [/i] [B][COLOR=darkblue]Take this for example.... Someone you're really close to and trust with your emotions goes behind your back and breaks that trust... Yet, they apoligize... What or how long does it take to regain your trust for them?[/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE] I'll start over and give that person a second chance. If that didn't work, then that's it. I won't count on that person anymore, but that doesn't mean I don't trust that person.
Guest Voodookanaka Posted November 5, 2001 Posted November 5, 2001 Im very much a loner so I dont trust ppl neway. Ive been hurt like that too many times as a child.
Lotus Posted November 5, 2001 Posted November 5, 2001 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Voodookanaka [/i] [B]Im very much a loner so I dont trust ppl neway. Ive been hurt like that too many times as a child. [/B][/QUOTE] I know how you feel. I don't trust people too. I don't got the point of trusting them, they just hurt you anyway. End trust, end suffer.
Stormbringer Posted November 5, 2001 Posted November 5, 2001 I've trusted far too many people that never deserved it. I've been hurt too many times. I don't trust anyone off the bat, they've got to earn it. And it's not easy, let me tell you. And if it's only a small thing, then yeah, I'll give them another chance. But if it's not, then they're gone, out of my life for good.
MysticalShawty Posted November 6, 2001 Posted November 6, 2001 [COLOR=limegreen]Alrighty....Lets see 1.2.3...........5 friends have done this to me, they went behind my back after me telling them everything that i thought i could trust them with,...I aint going to say any names because none of them are on otaku....Dang, and i told my friend straight up that i could'nt be friends with her if i couldnt trust her, [/COLOR] :mad: She didnt take it the right way, so obiously it made our friend ship end, but the best advice i would give u is Just like, expolain to them how they made u feel, such as if they hurt u or something, i dont know just exlplain to dem how u feel... I have been hurt alot, and i still dont know why i trust them over and over again? :flaming: It just P*ss3s me off when i think i can trust someone and then it turns out that i cant trust them at all,
Lady Macaiodh Posted November 6, 2001 Posted November 6, 2001 here is my take on trust. i will trust someone as long as they don't give me a reason not to. perhaps i'm still a bit idealistic; plus, i tend to have a sense about whether someone is untrustworthy. but mine is a kind of distant trust, where i keep the soul of myself seperated from the person, so that in case they do break my trust, i will not be hurt. so, maybe, i do not truly trust anyone at all.
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