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[QUOTE=sakurasuka][size=1]I know, I know. It's basically retarded for people to ask for advice from people on the internet and all, but maybe you guys can help me see my problem from a differnt perspective.

I've been dating this guy [Shocker, right? Me! The psycho tomboy! I know!], and he's a sweet guy. Really. A bit perverted, but so am I, so meh.

The thing is, as much as I like this guy, we have [i]nothing[/i] in common. And when I say nothing, I mean nothing. He's exactly the type of person I would generally hate, but for some reason, I've totally fallen for him. More than I've ever liked any other guy ever.

What's worse -- He really is in love with me.

He is both the best and worst boyfriend ever. He's a bit obsessed with me, and that's definitely wierd. I really don't know what to think about him.

We live a long drive away from each other's house, neither of us can drive [I have my permit, but my perents don't let me drive >_>], so we can't ever see each other, I'm not a phone person, he's not and IM person, and it just seems like this can't work. I've gone on what -- Seven dates with the guy? And he's already gotten exremely serious.

I can't even really talk to him about anything, because everything I say hurts him. He takes my opinion into high reguard.

Not only that, but he's all wrong for me. I start talking about my website, and then he'll start talking about skating or some comedian or his friends or something.

Either that or he'll just say 'That's cool' until I finish talking.

I'm dating a dim, 'white-boy-gangsta' skater kid who has nothing in common with me, and it's driving me nuts.

But I love his parents, and his friends are the coolest people in the universe.

Also, I could totally be awesome friends with this guy, but I really don't think he'd want to settle for that.

Gahh. I don't even need a boyfriend right now. I'm taking the SAT Junefricking3rd, and I'll be working two jobs this summer on top of my existing schoolwork.

*Head explodes from teenage drama*[/size][/QUOTE]

Well, all I can really advice is that you listen to you heart.
Remember, there are many other fish out there.

Whats the most important thing in fishing?
You have to be able to endure until the end.
There is really no other way to say it.
But if you don't like him, don't go out with him.
He will get more and more serious until one day he bows on one knee.

But if you don't want him to bow before you, stop it now.
Otherwise, you will break his little heart.

I'm just offering advice.
Just remember, everything works out better if you think on it ;)

Thanks for your time,

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Ms.Sakurasuka I think you should try talking to him and since he takes everything you say in high regard he should listen and if he doesn't bring the break up to him lightly....and you gotta tell me if this works or not because I've given this advice to someone else too :animeswea
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[quote name='sakurasuka][size=1']I know, I know. It's basically retarded for people to ask for advice from people on the internet and all, but maybe you guys can help me see my problem from a different perspective.[/quote][/size]

[color=crimson]Well, if it makes you feel any better I'd say it's retarded in a good way.[/color]

[quote name='sakurasuka][size=1']A bit perverted, but so am I, so meh.[/quote][/size]

[color=crimson]A match made in heaven...[/color]

[quote name='sakurasuka][size=1]The thing is, as much as I like this guy, we have [i]nothing[/i'] in common.[/quote][/size]

[color=crimson]... or not.[/color]

[quote name='sakurasuka][size=1']What's worse -- He really is in love with me.[/quote][/size]

[color=crimson][i]Uh oh.[/i]

I don't know what to tell you. You seem unhappy enough with it that perhaps you should just ditch him as a boyfriend and attempt to 'just be friends'. If that doesn't work just ditch him period. Maybe you'd like to keep trying to get him interested in your interests, and you in his? Try to make it work? Maybe you'd like to figure out how you fell for a dim, white, skater/wanna-be gangster in the first place and not ever let it happen again? It's up to you. You don't really need advice, you just need to come to a decision.

Oh yeah, good luck on the SATs. They aren't that difficult if you know your ABCs, 1-2-3s and your Southern Antebellum Economics.

Haha, just kidding. ;)[/color]
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[quote name='sakurasuka][size=1']I know, I know. It's basically retarded for people to ask for advice from people on the internet and all, but maybe you guys can help me see my problem from a differnt perspective.[/size][/quote][COLOR=RoyalBlue]Well seeing that you are looking for a different perspective, it makes sense to use the Internet since it?s a good way to gain access to widely different views. ^_~ So perhaps it?s not quite as retarded as one might think? Hmm?

So have you talked with him about your concerns? It seems like it?s at the point of deciding whether or not you want to continue dating. Even if you like him sooner or later the issues you mention are going to be felt either as a positive influence or as a negative one. If nothing else perhaps the two of you could agree to learn a little bit about what the other person likes? You might have something in common that you just haven?t found yet. [/COLOR]
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[FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=1][COLOR=Sienna]I, for one, am not considering getting serious with anyone I date in high school, mainly due to fact that people are still trying to define themselves. "Getting serious" would only interfere with my life at this point, and so I am willing to wait until my mid-20's to consider a serious relationship.

I hope my view helped a little.

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[quote name='Derald][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=1][COLOR=Sienna]"Getting serious" would only interfere with my life at this point, and so I am willing to wait until my mid-20's to consider a serious relationship.[/COLOR][/SIZE'][/FONT][/quote][SIZE=1]Wow, this here sure beats living in the moment. And how do you expect to find this person? It's ironic because your boyfriend sounds exactly like mine now, who's also in highschool. We're also completely different about everything. Even our age.

The way a relationship works when your total opposites is the art of comprimising. Have you explained how you have been feeling lately? I find being open even about the things that he gets overly hurt about (he's sensitive about these things too) is best because it lets everything out in the open. Sure he might be sore for awhile, but eventually its forgotten. Being in this type of relationship is tough, but it's worked so far for me because suprisingly we made it past one year [i]already[/i]. We try and be as open as possible, even if the situation is difficult.

I do have to say one thing though, for those who say just dump him, that's not the only alternative. If he's being too serious with you, let him know it. Say "I don't want to move that fast" and only if he doesn't back off after the warnings inform him that you will end the relationship. Otherwise, it sounds like you two might need a break from each other. A break can be different things, seeing other people for awhile, focusing on school, friends, etc. which can lead to two things breaking up or getting back together depending on how you feel. Some couples spend too much time together is one of the most common problems.

You sound young, so I agree it might be best not to get too serious. My motto is "Whatever happens, happens" because many people who dream of a future together end up breaking up over stuff that hasn't even happened yet. You should enjoy the relationship now, not think where your going to be in 20 years, as it seems he is trying to do (I don't mean to make a generalization but most people in highschool do this). It sounds to me like your his first serious girlfriend.

Since I don't know the situation THAT well, assuming you want the relationship gone but don't want to hurt his feelings. Just tell him out flat that he either takes you as a friend or not. It might sting a bit, but if he knows your serious he might take that offer instead. If not, well "theres always more fish in the sea." All I know is if you search for love you'll never find it, but it always finds you at the wrong times.[/SIZE]
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[size=1]I can personally say that even in your 20's, you are still trying to "define" yourself. Serious relationships are still very hard to find. And honestly, I'm beginning to see a trend that in your 20's, you're really not too intense on finding that "Mr/Mrs Right". You're in college, you're in a pinch to get a good job, trying to settle with new roommates...so much is going on that the last thing you want to try is a serious relationship.

Now, that's not to say that everyone in their 20's is like that. There are a few lucky people I know who have it all together. It's rare, but it does happen.

Anyway, sakurasuka, it looks to me like you're looking for excuses [in the relationship itself] to break up. If you like him, then talk to him. So he has a high regard for your opinions and wants to ***** and moan about them, then forget him. He's too much of a pansy to accept that you're just trying to let him know how you feel. And on that note, he won't be able to accept how you feel.[/size]
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[FONT=Century Gothic] [COLOR=DarkOrange]I personally think you should break it off with the guy.

It's absurd to get into a serious relationship so early in life. If he is the one then he will wait. There are way too many things that can go wrong with a relationship that starts out so early in a person's life. People change a lot through their highschool/college years. What if you get pregnant? What if you grow tired of each other after making a serious comitment? What if you go on so far that you can't break it up simply because you don't want to hurt the other? It's a dangerous road. I'm not saying it's impossible, just improbable.

You might just be in love with the thought of being in love. Maybe you don't love the guy, maybe just you just love the though of being with a guy. I think you should at least take a break from the guy.

I understand it'll be tough to break it to him, but it's better now than later. Also if he really cares about you then he'll understand.

I hope everything works out for you, later. ^L^

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  • 10 months later...
With all do respect I don't see myself as a "[I]dim, 'white-boy-gangsta' skater kid[/I]" everything you said I really found interesting. Hence why I said "Cool"

I don't know, whatever. It's too late to do anything now.

I really would like to be friends with you, I haven't talked to you in forever and I've only seen you once since you broke up with me in june of '06.

I didn't know that's how you saw me for the whole time we went out.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest NIKI12345
Hey what do you know one of my kind has fell in love hopfully the same will happen to me someday counting on how much of a tomboy I am. Well if he really likes you go for it because you can lose a really good relashoinship with someone because you didn't do anything and trust me not all guys wait forever for a girl to tell her feelings about him. Trust me it happenes to me alot mostly with all the guys I call friends sadly there not Mr. Right. Me yeah I'm into the white skater thing not the Wankstes. What a weird name. White ganster aren't they all gansters no matter what color. Well back to the topic you should give it a shot.
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