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Writing The Firestorm Directive [M - VSL]


Gavin
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[CENTER][IMG]http://zeitgeistglee.250free.com/Firestorm.jpg[/IMG]

[FONT=IMPACT][SIZE=4]Chapter One: Initiation[/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER]

[size=1]A single dirty beam of light permeates the pitch black of an unknown room deep in the heart of the City?s industrial plaza. Two figures reside in this small, damp room, one of them sits tied to a metallic chair while the other stands opposite asking questions, questions that determine whether or not the man in the chair will ever see daylight again. The man standing is Red Templar, he is part of an organisation that safeguards the lives of every citizen in the city , his accomplishments and those of his colleagues are measured by the fact that the city still exists, his failures are marked by the grieving families and the unmerited dead. The name of the man in the chair doesn?t matter, what does matter is that at some point in the last seventy-two hours he planted an explosive device somewhere in the city. Three hours ago he was captured by two other members of the Initiative and brought to this room, the very fact that he was careless enough to be captured gives Templar hope, not much, but enough.

?[B]Where is the bomb ?[/B]? Shadow obscures all but his mouth and upper chest, the light shines down against the face of the subject, an antiquated interrogation technique, and done so mostly for effect rather than effectiveness. His tone is even, cold, machine-like, he wants the answer to the question and will do whatever it takes to get it. ?[B]Do you have a family Agent ? Wife ? Kids ? Because if you do, I?m going to find them, and I?m going to kill them. I?ll kill them one by one and use it as a message to you, and every other agent out there.[/B]? Wrong move. The all-too-pleased with himself smile that sat on his face nanoseconds ago is now gone, replaced by blood, bruised flesh and the indentation marks of Templar?s right fist. ?[B]I will make one thing very clear to you, either you tell me where the bomb is, and you spend the rest of your life in a room no bigger than this, or you don?t, and I torture you until you change your mind.[/B]? He paused, moving off into the shadow to remove something from a nearby cabinet. ?[B]Honestly I would have been surprised if you didn?t make some kind of threat against my family, your kind usually do, make the threat, get me off-balance and then the score turns ever so subtly in your favour. Unfortunately for you, I don?t have a family, it?s just me, so let?s get back to the task at hand, where is the bomb ?[/B]?

The man in the chair scowls, his face aches from the impact of Templar?s fist, and now it seems that the agent is not above unsavoury methods of obtaining information. He tries to guess what Templar could have removed from the cabinet, any number of poisons in a syringe, a weapon, a surgeon?s scalpel ? Of course he still has the advantage, he knows where the bomb is, why shouldn?t he, he?s the very one who put it there, and as long as he knows then the agent can?t risk killing him. Even if he were to give up the information it would still be a death sentence, the organisation would not tolerate his failure, they never tolerated any failure. His thoughts were interrupted by the shrill chime of a cellular phone, Templar merely smiled and once again moved off into the distance, obscured by the darkness.

?[B]Yes ?[/B]? Anticipation was almost at breaking point, had the bomb gone off ? Had they found it ? ?[B]We?ve found it.[/B]? Relief, utter relief. The soft female voice was tingled with pride, they?d done it, he could almost picture the wonderful smile on her face, soon enough he?d see it for real. He was snapped back to conscious thought by the sound of the seated man hurling a profanity in his direction. He smiled again, endgame. ?[B]The subject ?[/B]? Moving slowly back into the light, the reflective coating of Templar?s weapon cast a harsh gleamed, the man in the chair paled visibly, it was over. ?[B]I?ll tell you ! I?ll tell y..[/B]? The newly discharged bullet from the agent?s firearm buried itself into the seated man?s chest, his head flopped down against his chest, blood pooling at his feet on the dirty cement floor. ?[B]Terminated. Returning to base.[/B]?


[CENTER]|||||||||||||||[/CENTER]


Forget what you think you know, seven years ago in November 2003 the member population of OtakuBoards was digitised and transported onto the Web. From there, those who survived built Otaku[B]Boards[/B] City, or just The City as it became known to it?s denizens, and more than three thousand scared teenagers had somewhere safe to call home. Unfortunately law and order were not easy to establish in the beginning, building a the city was one thing, getting it to work was a completely different enterprise. Many called for the then Moderators and older members to take charge, others called for political system based on experience and policy, mostly people wanted someone else to just tell them what to do and make everything OK. The city?s first two years were marked by bloodshed and atrocity on an unbelievable scale, today the death-toll stands at 729, including OtakuBoards Site Director James. The Renaissance Monument in Concordia Square is forever a memorial to those who lost their lives in the conflict.

In the aftermath of the bloodshed member and moderator alike realised one simple truth, there was no leaving the City. Real life was a dream gone by, you either existed online or you logged out, permanently. Before the end of the two year war that would claim the lives of so many people, then member Gavin approached James with a simple proposal, the creation of an organisation that would safeguard the lives of ordinary citizens by any and all means necessary, that group would become the Initiative, or shortened down to it's working codename OB1. In the beginning OB1 was made up of only a handful of codenamed associates, all of whom would be recorded among the death in Concordia Square. Now ?dead?, Gavin took up the title of OB1 Director and codename Red Templar King, often abridged to simply Red Templar. In the beginning the five core members of the Initiative were able to accomplish relatively little in the surging tide of violence, the city had become a war zone and five individuals striking at individual targets were simply unable to stem the bloodshed.

By late 2005, with the death toll now having reached nearly seven hundred, drastic action was taken, where before Red Templar and the Initiative had tried to avoid casualties on any side a new directive was introduced, Firestorm. All those who posed a threat to security were to be terminated, no compromise, no mercy. Lessons learned over the previous eighteen months allowed Initiative agents to penetrate different factional group eliminating those who posed a threat to the cease-fire. 29 members and 2 Moderators were terminated before Firestorm was rescinded. Now safe from anarchist hazards the nascent peace treaty The James Accords, in tribute to the murdered Site Director were ratified and a shaky government was founded. In aftermath of Accords being sanctioned, OB1 went off the grid, effectively becoming a non-partisan agency, it protocols still mandating the protection of The City but not answering to any arm or echelon of the government.

Now 2010, the Initiative is comprised of twelve agents, each of whom are recorded as having died during the Founding War. In the past five years they have averted an estimated 210 separate assaults on the city ranging from crude explosives to highly complex viral infections, unfortunately in that same period of time six attacks were successful claiming approximately 52 lives. Often these attacks were the work of rogue and dissatisfied elements of the populace, recently however certain attacks appear far more co-ordinated, and for the first time in nearly six years the Firestorm Directive is about to be reimplemented. War is about to approach the City of OtakuBoards, and only twelve individuals and seven days stand between it and complete destruction. [/SIZE]
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[size=1]To coin a phrase:

Interesting, most interesting...

Sorry, I've just always wanted to say that. Anyway, it just about sums up this little tale so far.

However, my only tiny little niggle is whether or not Red Templar is going to be this cold-hearted killer all the way through, because characters like that kind of annoy me. I like to be able to relate to the central character, and for them to have some basic human flaws and the like.

Nonetheless, I did enjoy the brief backstory of the plot. It really seems like the OB is in trouble in your universe.

I am eagerly awaiting the next part of this story.

(Also, was it intentional that "The Firestorm Directive" was supposed to sound a little like the title of a Robert Ludlum book?)
[/size]
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[QUOTE=Blayze][size=1]To coin a phrase:

Interesting, most interesting...

Sorry, I've just always wanted to say that. Anyway, it just about sums up this little tale so far.[/size][/quote]

[SIZE=1]You're more than welcome to use it Blayze, although too often and it becomes addictive.[/SIZE]

[quote][Size=1]However, my only tiny little niggle is whether or not Red Templar is going to be this cold-hearted killer all the way through, because characters like that kind of annoy me. I like to be able to relate to the central character, and for them to have some basic human flaws and the like.

Nonetheless, I did enjoy the brief backstory of the plot. It really seems like the OB is in trouble in your universe.

I am eagerly awaiting the next part of this story.

(Also, was it intentional that "The Firestorm Directive" was supposed to sound a little like the title of a Robert Ludlum book?)
[/size][/QUOTE]

[size=1]Ah, I'm trying not to give away anything here but Templar isn't as cold blooded as he seems, this will be explained over the course of the story, but rest assured he is a genuinely human character. As for the troubles of OB, well if 3000 young people were transported into a completely alien environment I think it would be the logical outcome, plus I prefer the setting to be a darker, grittier version of the OB: ETN universe.

As for the Robert Ludlum reference, honestly it's probably subconscious as I was reading that kind of genre when I came up with the idea, I believe it was [B]The Prometheus Deception[/B] at the time, preceded by Dan Brown's [B]Digital Fortress[/B]. Honestly though that's about where the homages end, the rest of the story is all original, except for the setting which is borrowed from Hugo's ETN of course.[/size]
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I like the premise of it Gavin. It's probably the first time I've managed to imagine what a writer's been saying when they do these OB Enter The Net-style spin-offs.

There's not much I can say for it appears to be the Prologue to the story, but you've already taken and used descriptive language appropriately, and for that I commend you.

However, I have a [i]serious[/i] problem with the way conversation was presented. I don't know about anyone else but I'm used to the traditional and clear system of a new line for every time a new person speaks. In this, it took me about two minutes (a frustrating amount of time) to work out the 'terrorist' had spoken.

Just a thought.

[center][b][Z][/b][/center]
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  • 3 weeks later...
[QUOTE=Zidargh]I like the premise of it Gavin. It's probably the first time I've managed to imagine what a writer's been saying when they do these OB Enter The Net-style spin-offs.

There's not much I can say for it appears to be the Prologue to the story, but you've already taken and used descriptive language appropriately, and for that I commend you.

However, I have a [i]serious[/i] problem with the way conversation was presented. I don't know about anyone else but I'm used to the traditional and clear system of a new line for every time a new person speaks. In this, it took me about two minutes (a frustrating amount of time) to work out the 'terrorist' had spoken.

Just a thought.

[center][b][Z][/b][/center][/QUOTE]

[SIZE=1]Thanks for the kind review Zidargh, I've been working on the second chapter which deals with the organisation mentioned by the terrorist in the first. I don't want to give too much away but I will say this, by the time I'm finished you won't be sure which side are the good guys.

In relation to the conversation set-up, I am going to change that, it only out of habit that I make everything into paragraphs of the same size. [B]Firestorm Directive Chapter Two: Personification[/B] coming soon. [/SIZE]
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