Writing It's Only Rain

[Mist]

[color=red][size=1] Here's a little poem I'm rather proud of. I'm going though some rough times with myself, and needed a little outlet. So, here's the product!
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[B]It's Only Rain[/B]

The sun goes down,
through the night.
I shriek,
to wash away the rain.

Indisposed,
holding my tears silently,
as I offer my shoulder
for the heavans to spill their sobs,
in my stead.

Can you wash away the rain,
the gray clouds,
that just won't let me be?
Why can't you just wash them away?

I'm not the strong girl
I know I used to be.
All my dreams,
have realeased themselves
into the never-ending sky.


Can you wash away the rain,
the gray clouds,
that just won't let me be?
Why can't you just wash them away?


The sun goes down,
through the night.
I shriek,
to wash away the rain.

Wipe my tears away,
rain a'fallin' down.
Don't cry, baby,
it's only rain.

I never meant to hurt you;
Baby, don't cry.
Rain a'fallin';
Wipe those tears away.

Don't you worry, baby,
It's only rain.
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I would appreciate any comments/ critisim. Thanks![/color][/size]

[Phantom]

Beautiful poetry... You have done what i have been craving for... somone to do a free-verse poem with STANZAS!... also the repetition of Stanza1.. .nice nice nice... there is only one critisism i can think of making and im not even gona make it cuz this poem would suck if u changed it.. 9.69/10 EXCELLENT!

[Mist]

[color=red][size=1] As much as I appreciate your praise, I wouldn't change it for your critisim. I made this poem, and I wouldn't change ti for anyone, because my words are the one thing that I have complete control with. So go ahead and comment on what you think was off, it may just help me in the furture.[/color][/size]

[Phantom]

Yo...Laenska...CALM DOWN .. ive never seen u act liek that.....i dont want u to ever change it.... please dont misinperperet me...

[BearsBaby635]

hey I really like it Evelyn...it really makes me think....and I think its funny cause John calls me Rain..hehe 9.9/10..i cant think of anything bad to say bout it I dont know to much bout poetry so I'm not gonna say anything

[Corey]

Beautiful poem.
Another addition to the OB Book of Poems.
How odd that it perfectly captures my recent sad event.

9/10

Great Job Evie!

[vegeta rocker]

rain. i think any poem about rain is cool. I like the part about offering your shoulder, very cool, never ever change it!!!

[Mist]

[color=red][size=1] Hehe, thanks guys! I appreciate the praise, but where's the criticism?[/color][/size]

[Mitch]

Critcism...sure I'll give a little. It's a great poem, except for one aspect. Maybe it doesn't Rhyme would work....i'm not saying it threw off the poem...you just wanted that criticism so bad, right? 9/10!

[RicoTranzrig]

[COLOR=darkblue]Almost sounds like a jazz/blues song......I like the part where you say your dreams are released into the neverending sky and "Wash away the rain..." makes me think 2 things: that your dreams brighten up your life. And... You hold back your own sorrows and take on the task that you were given from "up above." As you go into the last 2 stanzas, it seems as if someone has answered your pleas, reassuring you that everything's going to be alright.[/COLOR]

[Mist]

[color=crimson][size=1] To AnimeLover, I rarely rhyme with any of my poems; I'm a free-verse junkie! :D Rico, it looks like you have me figuered out.[/color][/size]