Heavyblade

I love the first one! It's great how you included the good and bad of vampires (sex then your soul) I dislike the second one because it really doesn't flow. The stanzas are too short and choppy and need to be stuck together. Good work with the subject. I think you captured the vampiric essence very nicely. Good work.

Yeah they're alright. They just don't have alot of feeling and depth to them. But that's just me. Loads of grammatical and spelling errors. Still good though. Good job

Yeah it's ok but it just doesn't "click" you know what I mean? The lines are kinda choppy and thoughts are scattered throughout the stanzas. Still good but it's kinda "run of the mill" prophecy stuff. Ya know " the light wil destroy the dark" so on and so forth. Still good, I like the voice in it. Good job.

Really good. One thing, you say something about a tainted one then for the rest of the poem you refer to it as a thing not a person. You might've meant to but I think it sounds awkward. Really good I want to see some more work from you in the future.

Wow! Really good! I write like this to. I think it's easier to write about dark things. You did beautifully with your words and descriptions. Very good. Just a few minor problems that are easily dealt with. Good job.

I really like this poem and are more to come so keep coming back. Different I don?t want to go out there I know they?re waiting Waiting to see my ruin They have no problems Milling in their delusional pictures of happiness They don?t know what it?s like to be different Yet on the inside they are all tortured Tortured by the steel spike of organized society They drown in their own despair and sorrow as I do Alas, they keep a smiling face Putting on a show for those around them Never showing what they truly feel I do show what I feel Which is the cause of my public ridicule The truth is not what they want to see For these reasons I am banished Banished to a life of mockery A life where even the lowest look down upon me If I had a chance to start over I would without question This life has nothing for me The days pass slowly I watch the shadows dance on my wall Chased by the lights of the city My time is wasted All of it is slipping through my fingers Like trying to catch water Everything is empty Everything is pointless Nothing matters anymore Hatred burns within me For those who treat me like dirt I can?t stand them anymore I want everything to end I want nothing more from here I want it all to be over It will all be over soon Darkness envelops me All is done and gone They not need come for my body There will likely be nothing left But it doesn?t matter anymore I am different

I thought it was good exept for the part that said I'm a teenager. I think that took away from the piece. Otherwise good 9/10

Whoa! Psycadelic man! Cool beans! Really good like the swirly things. 9/10 PINK! YUCH! *splutters*

It looks kinda funny. And what the hell is with the rabbit? Nude Chicks? *runs to movie theatre* It looks kinda and what the hell is it about exactly?

I think that the sport is just a chance to show off ones masculinity and how good they are with a wrench and a car. I think the thing they do it for is just to see if they can get away with it without getting busted. I guess it's an ok sport (if you could call it that) since it doesn't bother me and I don't participate.

Yeah I like it alot. And,damn! That guy in the corner is loaded! Keep writing!

Thanx I really like the second one too and the title is the way it is because I didn't really want to come up with an elaborate and deep title. I kinda like the simplicity. And I never really feel like the first one so no need to worry. More to come. Here's the next poem::) [SIZE=3]Fly Away[/SIZE] I used to have wings But they were clipped By my own close-mindedness I can no longer fly I have been grounded here Here in a world where imagination Is an utter joke I begin to regrow my wings But their growth is forever stunted By a world who no longer believes In the power of a child's imagination I long to fly As I have done in the past Still I am grounded I cannot rise Into the endless possibilities That are my youthful mind Whatcha think?

Nice1 I really like the pic of the girl. I write most of my poetry at somewhere around 3. Nice job. 10/10 Really good.

Good job! Like the pic and the txt and...well everything. Nothing wrong here...*moves to next thread* 10/10 Nice

Very nice! I like the colors and the skin tones. I know you've heard about the arm enough so I won't say anything. >_< Good job overall I like the rose. 9/10 really nice.