Redemption

[INDENT][size=1][color=white]The soft hum of Demetri?s [I]F-Truck[/I] resonated through the metallic structure of the car as he drove along one of the back roads to Bakersfield. It ran alongside one of the many channels that fed water to all of the farms in the district. The night was old and Demetri had only just finished working up a patch of soil on one of the large company farms in the San Joaquin Valley. His soft blue-mauve eyes closed as the twenty-four year old man tried to stifle a rising yawn. It was indeed late at night because he hadn?t passed anyone on the road since he left the farm. Demetri took his eyes off the road for a moment to glance at the moon. It was half-full. A perfect time to sew potato seeds, or so it was believed. He glanced back at the road only to see a woman in a tattered white dress standing in the middle of the bitumen. The young man wrenched the driving wheel to the left, swerving to miss the woman. He slammed on the brakes, the large car skidding to a stop, wheels smoking. Breathing in heavily, Demetri looked back at where the woman stood to see if she was still there. To his amazement, she was, and now she turned towards the truck and headed towards it. Now with his breath back, Demetri opened the door to his truck and jumped out, about to yell and scream at the woman for being in the middle of the road so late at night. But when he saw her face, his throat seemed to constrict. He could see she had been weeping. Her eyes searched the young man desperately, pleading for him to do something. [b]? Hey?. are you all right??[/b] Demetri asked in a soft, comforting voice, wanting to squeeze her shoulder reassuring, but decided not to. [b]? My - my children? have? have you seen my children??[/b] she asked, tears leaking out of her eyes. [b]? Your children??[/b] Demetri replied in question, a little shocked. He ran a hand through his longish medium sandy brown hair. [b]? I can?t say I have ma?am.?[/b] What the woman did next made the young man jump with fright. [b]? Oh my children!? she wailed into the night. ? Where are my children?! Where are my children?!?[/b] Demetri was about to head back to his truck to grab his cell phone when he felt the woman?s hands around his neck. They grasped tighter and tighter, making it hard for the young man to breathe. [b]? Hey?.. can?t?. breathe?? help?.?[/b] But it was no use. Before he could do anything, Demetri found himself being held under the water by the amazingly strong woman. He could see her weeping face above him, her hands firmly pressing him down under the surface. His legs and arms flailed around, trying to break the surface to get some air but she was too strong. [I]****? ?I?m going to die? I? I?ll have to use it?.[/I] Demetri mustered up what strength he had left and concentrated on the field of worked up soil across the other side of the channel. A splash of water signalled that he had moved some soil to the water. A small smile thinned his lips as his body began to cry for oxygen. He watched a hand, made out of the mud he had just created, wrap itself around the woman and pry her from Demetri?s neck. The young man burst up out of the shallow water, gulping down air as fast as he could. His sopping wet hair stuck to his face like glue as his blue-mauve eyes glared at the wailing woman. [b]? You?re?..?[/b] he breathed. [b]? You?re a Woman In White??[/b][/INDENT] Appearance ? [URL=http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g282/bishie_owner/Weiss23.jpg]Demetri Ashcroft[/URL] Other Special Skills: Demetri is an excellent negotiator. His quick thinking and intelligence can get him through most tight situations, including those concerning the authorities. Sorry it?s not the best Blayze.[/size][/color]

[INDENT][size=1][color=Sienna][b]? Name?s Sean.?[/b] Ally looked down from the sky and over at the man who now stood beside her, his hand out in a greeting manner. Her eyes scanned him for only a moment, taking most of his appearance in that second. He was ruggedly handsome ? a sharp jaw line and cheekbones and sharp, keen, deep teal eyes. His hair was spiked, a little long and near the same colour of his eyes, only a shade more blue. Ally could tell almost instantly from his smooth masculine voice that he was from Germany. She smiled on the inside. Everything about this man was sharp ? from his language to his appearance. It was rather bizarre. [b]? I am Ally Fournes,?[/b] Ally replied in her smooth but distinctive French accent. Sean looked a little surprised at the voice that came from the short, blonde haired woman. It was stronger than he expected, but still had a hint of delicacy hidden in the tone. As they started to converse with one another, Ally noticed a few others arrive at the doorstep of the luxurious, sandstone mansion. The building was indeed distinctively Australian - Ally noted that it must have been built by some of the first settlers. It would cost millions upon millions of dollars to construct a mansion like this today, but then, it would also be impossible because of some of the masonry skills lost to time. Ally also noticed the stare she was receiving from one of the other males from the group. He was very muscular; the French woman noted the ripples of muscles upon his upper arms. It looked like he was a fighter of some sort, a boxer even. His spiky, medium sandy brown hair glistened in the sunlight as he made his way over to Sean and Ally, his bright hazel eyes glinting wittingly. [b]? I?m Ben Moraes, and you two are??[/b] Ally could hear some sort of South American accent in his voice, but because his English was very good, she couldn?t tell which it was. [b]? I?m Sean Enttausch,?[/b] the German man said, taking a step forward and shaking hands with the South American. Ben gave an acknowledged nod before turning to Ally with a mischievous glint in his eyes. [b]? And who may you be??[/b] Ally raised her eyebrow at the man?s voice. It seemed he was far more interested in her than Sean. She started chewing her lip in a nervous fashion before holding out her hand in a shake gesture. [b]? I am Ally Fournes,?[/b] the French woman said, still holding out her hand. To her surprise, Ben took her hand delicately and kissed the top of it. Her eyes widened, showing her shock at this gesture. [b]? So?. a French mademoiselle? with golden hair and flawless looks? I?m surprised I haven?t seen you in any modelling magazines,?[/b] Ben commented, his voice smooth and flattering. Ally looked at him with strange look before Sean stepped in, changing the topic. [b]? So, Ben, which part of the world do you come from??[/b][/color][/size][/INDENT]

[size=1][color=#666666][INDENT]Neron peered over his glasses at the young man before him. He spoke so shamefully about himself that it surprised the doctor. He thought that the men chosen to be with him on board would have been all the brash, aggressive type. But it seems his theory was proven wrong. This young man seemed to feel he was weak and not worthy of his position upon the ship, especially with the women around. And the captain Neron had seen before they boarded the ship seemed clumsy and out of place. When the young man started to rattle on about needing a regular place at the ward, Neron gave a soft smile. At the end of his talking, the doctor looked over at him very seriously. He didn?t want to say anything too encouraging, just in case the things that he had said may be true, but the doctor also didn?t want to say anything that would confirm them. [b]? I shall keep a bed aside for you? but? after the first mission, I believe that you will be more sure of yourself. We are all new in this situation. None of us, including the women, has an advantage over the other because of this strange occurrence.?[/b] [b]? Heh? maybe??[/b] the young man replied, taking the last bit of his burger. Then the announcement for the Volker fighters rang over the ship?s intercom. Neron looked up at the speakers, wondering if anything important was happening. However, the young man he was talking to swore softly before standing up to put away his tray. [b]? You are a Volker fighter??[/b] Neron questioned. The young man nodded. [b]? May I have your name??[/b] [b]? It?s Axel.?[/b] [b]? Ah. Then good luck Axel. I hope everything goes well for you.?[/b] Axel nodded his thanks and walked out of the mess hall. Neron watched him walk out before noticing three other women walk out of the hall, heading the same way. The doctor then suddenly realised that Axel was the only male Volker fighter in the group. Neron then felt very sorry for him.[/size][/color][/INDENT]

[size=1]Err.... I really don't understand all of this. It's very confuzzling (especially the lunches thing) and I've been graduated from high school for three years now. So... err.... could someone help me out here?[/size]

[INDENT][size=1][color=Indigo]Zed couldn?t hold it in much longer. He burst out laughing at the note that kid Ezekiel had written to him. The whole class swivelled around at him, some glaring at him, some wondering if he was truly crazy. The dark-skinned, white-haired boy looked back at him with a serious glance. When Zed caught back his breath, and class resumed, he looked back at the freakish looking kid. [I]Fine by me? it?s cool if he wants to have a little chat?[/I] Zed thought to himself as he waited for the bell to ring. As if summoned, the sound of the bell echoed through the entire school. The din of stuffing books into bags and moving chairs and desks resonated loudly throughout the classroom and into the hall. Zed pushed his way through the departing algebra class, searching for the freak kid over the heads of the others. Unfortunately for Ezekiel, he stuck out like a sore thumb as he leant against some nearby lockers. Zed made a beeline for him, pushing seniors and juniors out of the way without regard. Upon approaching the dark-skinned student, Zed suddenly found himself slammed firmly into the lockers. The whole corridor became silent, as the group of juniors passing by looked on, horrified. Ezekiel had the dark blue haired boy by the scruff of the shirt, his eyes looking down on Zed with a loathing fury. [b]? You??[/b] Ezekiel growled angrily. [b]? What do you want, freak??[/b] Zed retorted, his icy blue eyes glittering maliciously. He felt Ezekiel?s grip tighten at his neck. A rush of adrenaline pumped through the dark blue haired boy?s body. He liked being the underdog in these sorts of situations. It gave him so much more of an edge. [b]? You should stop being such a nuisance to everyone and just leave,?[/b] Ezekiel snarled, the boys? gazes locked with growing animosity towards each other. [b]? Heh. You?ll have to make me whitey,?[/b] Zed replied with a smirk. [b]? If you wanna try me, meet me at the Boston Public Gardens tonight at 6:45. If I lose, then I?m gone. If you lose, then you?re gone. Get it??[/b] He watched Ezekiel think it over in his mind before letting the dark blue haired boy go. [b]? Fine. You have a deal. Turn up on time,?[/b] Ezekiel growled warningly. Zed cracked his knuckles and looked back at the white-haired boy with a lethal look in his eyes. [b]? Don?t insult me. I wouldn?t miss a chance to whoop your ass in a million years, freak.?[/b] They both glared at each other before turning their separate ways. Zed walked down to the hall where most of the kids in the school were eating during their break. He yawned, stretching. His body may have been tired, but his mind was racing. The prospect of a fight with Mr White Hair was something he couldn?t miss. Hopefully some girls would come along and watch him put down the freak in a matter of moments.[/INDENT][/size][/color]

[INDENT][size=1][color=Sienna] The roar of the plane?s opening flaps awoke Ally from her deep slumber. Were they descending already? She leant over to her right and peered out the window. Between the clouds, the young French woman spotted a large port in which many container ships sailed in and out of. To the east of the large port was the wide blue Pacific Ocean. It shimmered its iridescent blue in the intense sunlight. To the west, buildings, trees and a large winding river could be seen far to the horizon, where small mountains jutted up from the land. Ally had heard that Australian beaches were some of the best in the world. It almost made it exciting enough to be there. But, in the back of her mind, where the trained soldier lay, warning bells were going off like mad. When Ally had checked her email two days ago, she was shocked to find an email from the ?Master of Games?, or so this man called himself. It wore on about fulfilling fantasies and desires, and being able to make any of those come true. Also, it mentioned this ?Master?s? fortunes that lay in the billions of dollars. Money didn?t really interest Ally, that wasn?t why she was going to the mansion at all. The prospect of having those memories, those nightmares, gone forever was an opportunity she couldn?t miss, even if she knew this wasn?t an ordinary situation. Her body shuddered at the mere thought of them. [center]======================================[/center] The crunching of the gravel beneath the wheels of the car made Ally?s body freeze instantly. She relaxed after a few moments, realising it was only the wheels that were making the noise. It had been a long flight, and Ally tried to stay up for the majority of it. She didn?t want to alarm people with her antics while she experienced the nightmares, especially when they were all enclosed in a small space. Finally, the car ground to a halt. Ally opened the door herself and stepped out onto the creamy coloured sandstone tiles at the entrance of the mansion. There were a few other people standing around at the entrance, all waiting to be let in. Hiding her shaking hands in her long sleeves, Ally grabbed her small suitcase from out of the boot of the car and walked up the steps to the waiting group. They all stared at her as she approached, but she said nothing to them, trying to hide her nervous shaking hands. In an effort not to look at the others, Ally shielded her eyes and looked up into the clear azure sky. It was a beautiful afternoon. A soft sigh of relief left her body as she felt a slight sense of comfort wash over her. If this was going to be an adventure of sorts, at least it started out well.[/size][/color][/INDENT]

[size=1]What do you think makes a person a good role player? Try not to use specific people as examples (I don't want people playing favourites here). But what aspects of their writing do you find makes them a good roleplayer? Personally, for just a general roleplayer, I think it's their character development. A character that doesn't have depth and doesn't develop, to me, isn't an interesting character at all. I like watching the character grow and mature as a person, and learn from what experiences they go through. A person that can roleplay a character like that successfully gets a big tick of approval in my book. As for an RPG creator, again, I like the depth of the details in the story (no matter if it's a traditional RP, or a out-of-the-ordinary one). It makes it all the more magical and exciting to be a player in, and it brings about more options for the roleplayer to dip their character into. Comments? [b]EDIT:[/b] Another question: How would one become a quality roleplayer?[/size]

[size=1]Was I even in season 3? O.o I can't even remember. Perhaps I should go back and read. And I agree with Neko, you can't keep that mind of yours hidden for long Kairi. :p Anyway, just as a side note, I'll be posting tomorrow Kairi (tomorrow my time, thursday night your time) because of time restraints [alas, yet again]. Sorry about that buddy.[/size]

[INDENT][color=Indigo][size=1]Fight, fight, fight. Was that all these punks could do? Zed dodged and weaved the myriad of punches and kicks, his eyes closed, an air of arrogance about him. Even he was getting tired of this ever-repetitive display of macho-ness. The junior he had beaten up the other day had told his older brother about the fight, so naturally, the older brother wanted revenge for the embarrassment his brother endured. That also meant he brought a couple of friends along to help. Chaos proceeded to flourish down the hallway just before class. A push and a shove in an already tense situation turned the corridor into an all out brawl. Teachers hollered over the din of people rolling around the floor, each having the other?s scruff in their clenched fist. Of course, Zed had managed to untangle himself from the fighting to stride coolly into the classroom. He sat down at one of the desks and propped his feet up on the desk, his hands behind his head casually. As he stared up at the ceiling, Zed remembered another fight he witnessed earlier that day. A girl with long pink locks had whooped some senior girl?s behind at the front entrance. He had only seen a moment of the fight before being set upon but the revenge-driven older brother and his buddies. Pity? he would have liked to have found out her name, but then, she did seem a little young for him. A bored yawn escaped his now open mouth, waiting for the commotion he unintentionally created outside. Zed could still hear the cries of the teachers as they tried to settle everyone down. A job well done, even if he did say so himself. Once the brawl had died down, everyone moved off into their respective classes. Some were not lucky enough to escape the wrath of the now infuriated and emotionally stretched teachers. Zed chuckled to himself softly. Now, the usual drawl of the teacher started to echo in Zed?s ears painfully. Something about 2a times 2b equals 4ab, or something like it. What did he have to know this stuff for anyway? It wasn?t like he was going to become a nuclear physicist anyway. A pain shot through his head. Urg?. too big a word to use so early in the morning. That was when he heard a soft thump on the desk two seats away from him. Zed looked over the person that sat in between his desk and the other to see a long red-headed girl sleeping lightly on the desk?s surface. The dark-blue haired boy tried hard not to burst out laughing. This teacher could put anyone to sleep. He ripped a page out of his notebook, scrunched it up and threw it over at the sleeping girl. It hit her fair square in the face. Hopefully that would wake her up.[/size][/color][/INDENT] OOC: The red-headed girl I referred to in the post was Cyriel?s character, just so everyone knows.

OOC: Sorry to those that haven?t posted, but I?ve decided to move this along, even though this RPG may be dead. [size=2][center][u][b]Chapter 2: The Harvesters[/size][/u][/b][/center] [size=1][color=#666666][INDENT]A blaring alarm screeched through the entire structure of the [I]Obsession[/I]. All of the crew, including the newest and most important of the group, looked up at the flashing red lights on the ceilings above them. A booming male voice resonated through the metallic battleship. ? Captain, pilot and registrar ? to the bridge immediately! Volker pilots, stand by on level 2 battle status*!? Neron looked up from the paperwork he decided to get a head start on. His long, hazelnut blonde hair sat on his shoulders as he listened to the announcement. He wondered what all the commotion was about, then he checked the time. The time had come for the [I]Obsession[/I] to launch. A purge of excitement ran through his veins. This would be the start of some great adventure that would hopefully live up to his expectations. [center]========================================[/center] The launch of the [I]Obsession[/I] was pulled off without any major hiccups. The crew seemed to be working well together, but this was a fragile peace. It would only take one arrogant comment to send most of the crew into a fighting frenzy. All were on edge and ready to spring into action, especially the newest members of the crew. Well into the first stretch of the [I]Obsession?s[/I] maiden voyage, Neron decided to make an effort to befriend any of the new crew members, be it male or female. He did feel a little apprehensive about the reaction of any female crew member he may come across in his travels. They all seemed to be stuck in their ways of hating men, but of course, that was expected. Many of Neron?s fellow man had killed womankind. There was no doubt that this was going to be on hell of a ride. The doctor wandered up to the mess hall where he could hear the buzz of conversation. Upon looking inside, he could see that most of the new crew members ? the ones that had boarded the same time as he ? were eating. It was a perfect opportunity, however, he foresaw one problem. The room was separated into a male area, and a female area. Whether this was deliberate or not, Neron thought it was the best strategy to avoid conflicts for the mean time. He walked to the counter, grabbed a tray of odd-looking food from a very disgruntled female before joining the three men he had boarded with. They all looked rather solemn after the launch. [b]? My? this journey seems to have taken a turn for the worst already??[/b] Neron commented on the looks of each of the faces of the three men that sat at the table.[/size][/color][/INDENT] OOC: Men, have a conversation with Neron. Women, have a conversation with each other. We really need to get this moving along folks. Thanks.

[color=Sienna][size=1][b]Name:[/b] Ally Fournes [b]Age:[/b] 28 [b]Sex:[/b] Female [b]Location:[/b] Marseille, France [b]Appearance:[/b] [URL=http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g282/bishie_owner/girls39.jpg]Ally[/URL] [b]Personality:[/b] In the mornings, Ally is constantly on edge. This is because of the nightmares that she has during the night. However, as the day wears on, Ally becomes a little more sociable. She analyses situations thoroughly and with extreme precision, which sometimes leds to misinterpretation. People usually see her as cold and distant, but this is only the mask that Ally now instinctively wears to protect herself. If people get her to open up, she is wise and caring, but still has that cool demeanour. [b]Bio:[/b] The only remarkable event worth mentioning in Ally's life was her service as a military engineer in the French Army. This was what shaped the young, naive woman into becoming wiser and more aware of the world around her. It began with her service in Iraq. She, along with her battalion, was sent out to survey the area near Baghdad for recon work. However, her small group was ambushed by guerilla fighters and most of her comrades, with whom she had come through military training, were taken as hostages and executed on live television in a display of power. This unnerved her greatly, but like the soldier she was trained to be, Ally pressed forward with the job. Three monthes later, and the Americans had most of Baghdad under their control. However, there were still frequent bombings of civilians and armed forces alike. Ally was sent out with a patrol unit to, again, survey a property. The Americans had suspicions that a local, recently formed terrorist group was using it as a stash for all sorts of weapons. Again, the patrol was ambushed and the truck before the one Ally was in, exploded when a missile, from a hand launcher, collided with the ammunition in the back of the truck. Luckily, Ally received only minor injuries from the blasted windshield, but the horror she had witnessed almost broke her, as it would any one with a sound mind. The last straw was when the orders for the French troops came to withdraw. Ally and a few others were deconstructing a bunker when gunfire started to rattle off above her. Some of her feelow engineers went above ground to see what was happening only to never return alive. Some of the terrorists came down into the bunker to see if there were any soldiers about, as well as take any equipment that was left behind. Ally managed to shoot two of the terrorists with her side arm, her alive comrades taking out the others. When they came above ground, they all felt as if they were World War II, where masses of people lay dead on the ground. The only difference was the sand they lay in, instead of grass and soil. After returning home, Ally received counselling and was given an administrative job in the home engineering department of the French Army. [b]Greatest Desire:[/b] Gain a loyal companion that will be at her side 24/7 and be rid of the nightmares that plague her every night [b]Greatest Fear:[/b] The sound of guns and explosions, ants and the loss of comrades[/size][/color] OOC: Sorry if the post seems a little out of place. It's late when I wrote this, so who knows what I put down.

[size=1]As the others have said, observing what other authors do when they write is a good start. But notice that nearly every one of the authors you read has their own distinctive style of writing. Generally, you can't tell what it is, but if you read a passage from an author you've read a lot of, usually you can pick it. It may be their detailed descriptions of the surroundings, or the deep development of their characters, maybe their punctuation techniques or the way their characters interact. Develop your own style of writing, perhaps by combining aspects of other authors' writing that you find appealing, or you like doing. Or just create something entirely on your own. In the end, reading other authors' works is research, and research shouldn't be copied word for word.[/size]

[quote name='Sandy']I also feel very lucky for living in a small, peaceful country where guns aren't "free market" items.[/quote] [size=1]I know what you mean Sandy. Ever since the Port Arthur Massacre in Tasmania, strict gun laws have been enforced in Australia. All publicly owned automatic and most semi-automatic weapons were bought back by the government and destroyed. I say most because I know that some semi-automatic shotguns are allowed (under very very strict guidelines). I say all this because I think some gun laws could have prevented a few of these shootings. But like the others have mentioned, preventing a person from getting to that stage in the first place would probably be the better solution, and would benefit everyone overall. Erg..... I sound like a teacher or something to that description when I reply to these types of threads. Bah! Back to the Square I go.[/size]

[quote name='Fasteriskhead']Also: how did you people know that I look kind of like Gendo?[/quote] [size=1]Haha. That was kind of ironic. Anyways, congrats to all the winners. And to the other graphic makers, you all did a fantastic job (especially to Eclipse - I know you were bored and all :p ).[/size]

[size=1][color=#666666][INDENT]Neron felt the intensity of Abelia's glare. Inside, he gave a soft chuckle. It should have been expected, for, he assumed, females were taught that men were demons, as men were taught that women were demons. He had no doubt that this would be the case. Abelia's glare and the reaction the other females had proved that theory. [b]" So.... you are a Volker pilot.... are you not supposed to be down in the hanger?"[/b] Neron questioned, his grey eyes looking searchingly at the delicate girl before him. She gave him a surprised look. His voice was gentle, and free of any malice. But it was also cool and distant - something she did expect. [b]" I'm taking my time. There is still a while before we launch,"[/b] Abelia replied, a certain iciness in her voice. Neron couldn?t help but smile at her defensive nature against him. It was odd, but rather humorous in a way also. The overall situation was odd. Neron could just imagine God sitting up there, looking down and laughing at them. [b]? Have you past the ward on your travels??[/b] Neron asked, trying to sound less intimidating so he might actually receive an answer. [b]? It seems that this ship is rather large and I haven?t been given any directions.?[/b] Again, Abelia was shocked. This doctor? was so polite, even to her ? a woman. Something wasn?t right here. Warning bells went off inside of Abelia?s mind, making her keep on her toes. Why would a man be so polite to her? It didn?t make any sense. [b]? I think I saw it near the hanger,?[/b] she answered simply and stiffly. [b]? Why thank you.?[/b] Neron gave a slight bow of the head before walking off. However, he paused mid-step and looked back around at Abelia with a small, reassuring smile upon his lips. [b]? Perhaps you should accompany me, since I am heading in the same direction you should be.?[/b] The doctor knew this was a bold move, especially with how this situation unfolded. But, they had to start somewhere. Now was as good a time as any. He watched Abelia debate within herself if she should go or not. After a time, she seemed to have come to a decision. Looking up at the doctor with hard eyes, she nodded. [b]? Fine. I?ll go with you. Just so you know, I wouldn?t be going with you if I couldn?t help it.?[/b] [b]? Very well,?[/b] Neron said with a knowing gaze. Abelia took the lead and strode down the largest of the corridors. Neron followed, taking note of his surroundings, making a mental map inside of his mind. They passed a few people on the way, mostly women to Neron?s surprise. He wondered where the male part of the crew were hiding. After ten minutes, Abelia stopped and showed him to the ward. Neron looked in through the doorway, smiled then looked back at Abelia. His grey eyes were warm from behind his glasses, but his persona was still cool and distant. [b]? Thank you for brining me here. I expect we?ll see each other often since you are a Volker pilot, and I am the one that will treat your wounds.?[/b] With that, Neron walked into the ward without another sound. [/size][/color][/INDENT]

[size=1][color=#666666][INDENT][i]Get to know your fellow crew members because you?re going to be with them for a long time....[/i] Easier said than done. Neron watched as everyone dispersed onto the [i]Obsession[/i]. He studied them all closely, receiving some disapproving glares in return. But that's the sort of person he was. Observant and distant. It was what made him one of the best doctors around. However, he couldn't help but feel somewhat excited about the whole situation. Indeed, he expected things to be out of the ordinary on board, but even this had flung him out into left field. The opportunity to study the females was a most exciting prospect, considering that man had never had a chance to before. Then something suddenly clicked inside his mind. The Rasm government had asked him to document the ship's events, including those that the crew on board had experienced and all of his data from his ward. That would certainly include the females' data. Neron wondered what exactly the Rasm government had up their sleeve. But there was no point in thinking it over now. He didn't have much information because this was only the beginning. Things would get much deeper before this adventure was over. Sliding his circular framed glasses back up his nose, the doctor strode on board and went about finding his workplace - the ship's ward. Various crew members dodged around him as he walked down numerous corridors. The internal structure of the ship was like a maze - one gigantic maze. Supposably, the [i]Obsession[/i] could support 450 crew members. That was a lot of members for Neron to treat. Hopefully, he would have some help.[/color] OOC: Anyone can meet up with Neron if they like.[/size][/INDENT]

[INDENT][size=1][color=Indigo][i]Morning.... urghhh.....[/i] It was Zed's least favourite time of day. The sun shone brightly into his eyes as he woke from a restless night of slumber. He sat up in his bed, scratching his bare stomach with one hand while stretching out the other. A loud yawn resonated from his wide open mouth as the young man slid out of bed, standing wobbily up on his still sleeping legs. Shuffling out into his small kitchen, Zed made himself breakfast - a cup of strong espresso coffee. It was all that he needed to get until lunch time, and it was all he was capable of making in his half-sleep state. [i]School....[/i] was his next thought. He groaned. To Zed, school was the equivalent of prison. The only reason why he was staying in school was so he could live off the government. Their cheque every week was quite a nice reward for doing nothing but creating chaos. After a cold shower, Zed shuffled back into his room to get dressed. His dark red, tribal-like tattoos glistened menacingly on his still moist body. They sprawled over his skin like a spider's web - from the top of his left hand, up his left arm, across his back and stomach, down his right arm to the top of his right hand. Zed looked over at his bedside table and saw the time. A string of curses hissed through his clenched teeth as Zed quickly pulled on his long black pants and white, long sleeved shirt. With keys in hand, he ran to the front door, grabbing a small dofflebag on the way, and burst out into the street. His half-buttoned shirt flapped in the breeze as Zed ran along the sidewalk. People darted out of his road as he tore along, looking like a poorly-dressed bat out of hell. But soon enough, he reached the school grounds with a few minutes to spare. Zed managed to fix his shirt up before heading up into the main building. His spiky, dark blue hair flailed around upon his head as he forced open his locker and shoved his doffle bag in there. Yet another day in the prison. Yet another opportunity to create chaos.[/size][/color][/INDENT]

[color=white] [font=Trebuchet MS][size=2][b]Name:[/b] Zedidiah 'Zed' Kiefers -[URL=http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g282/bishie_owner/alviss.jpg][b][color=LightBlue]Appearance - including tattoos on arms[/color][/b][/URL] [b]Age / DOB:[/b] 16 yrs old / 13th October 1994 [b]Persona:[/b] [URL=http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g282/bishie_owner/guys175.jpg][b][color=LightBlue]Ikorose[/b][/color][/URL] NB: Add a mask (like Zorro's) to cover the face. There are also no eyes visible behind the eye holes in the mask, only darkness. [b]Blood Weapon:[/b] Hael - [URL=http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g282/bishie_owner/Alviss_003.jpg][b][color=LightBlue]On hand in picture[/b][/color][/URL] He has four rings, as seen in the picture. The first has a nooseman's loop on it, the second - a wing, the third - the yin-yang symbol, and the last - a skull. [b]Snippet: ? That?s enough you two!? Zed gave a sick smile as he heard the shrill voice of his distressed female teacher. One more knee to the freshman?s gut was all that was needed before the little punk started to plead for his senior to stop. ? Stop it now Zedidiah!? his teacher screeched again, calling out his full name. The boy?s icy blue eyes glanced over at her lazily, as if nothing remotely interesting had happened. The crowd surrounding the two fighting students were now in shock. The freshman lay unconscious on the floor, bloodied and bruised, and Zed looked like he had no sense of remorse for what he had just done. ? What?s the matter Miss? He was the one who insisted on making a fool of me. I just taught him something you could never teach,? Zed replied, a mix of sarcasm and deadly seriousness in his dark voice. This irked both the teacher and his fellow students. They knew he wasn?t the nicest of people, but now they just thought of him as plain evil. However, the female teacher mustered all her courage and stepped towards him, her face glowering. But Zed could feel her quaking inside ? like all the others. ? There is no reason for that kind of behaviour in school, or even in life! Headmaster?s office? NOW!? ? Now now Miss, there?s no reason for that. You should really calm down. After all, all I did was teach ? something you can?t seem to achieve quite as well.? Zed let a smirk thin his lips as he left the classroom. Inside, he felt a chuckle rise. That had been the most fun he had had in quite a while, all the while punishing the blundering idiot who had the balls to insult his pride. After passing through the doors of the classroom, he could feel a huge sigh of relief come from the people inside, his presence no longer hindering their mental wellbeing. As he dawdled down the long white hall, two rather attractive girls passed him by. Zed stopped, stepped aside to let them through and pretended to tip a non-existent hat that sat upon his head. ? Ladies,? he said in a very gentlemanly way. The two girls giggled after passing him, their books clutched to their chests. Even Zed managed a snigger. But it wasn?t a good-humoured snigger. It was something more menacing. [I]What idiots?[/I] he thought to himself. [I]You?d think they?d get it by now that I?m bad news. Cause all the chaos I want and still the headmaster keeps me locked in prison. You?d think he?d have some sense and just expel me. But whatever? I?ll just keep causing havoc, and maybe he?ll come to his senses.[/I][/b] [/font][/size][/color]

[size=1]Just PM me with what kind of Volker you're thinking of creating and maybe I could suggest something. That's only if you want to, of course.[/size]

[size=1]Astdis, that's cool with me. No question is a dumb question Nucifer. Here are the answers to your questions: 1) For the moment, I don't want second forms of your Volker fighters. But as we go through the RPG, your Volker can get upgrades if you wish. 2) Volkers are not limited to humanoid and animal-looking mechs. They can be spacecraft looking if you wish. Hope that answers your queries.[/size]

[size=1][color=#666666][INDENT] The minute hand of the clock above Neron tickled closer and closer to the end of the sixteenth hour. As the deadline drew nearer, the doctor noticed two other males mulling around the meeting area. The officers that stood by the large steel doors scanned the small group of men, counting them mentally. After reaching the total, they nodded to each other before one stepped forward, two minutes after the deadline. [b]? Jaden Dawn, step forward!?[/b] barked the officer. No one moved. Neron arched his eyebrow. The officers looked at each other in slight confusion before looking back at the group. [b]? Very well? we shall deal with his absence after we finish,?[/b] the officer mumbled in slight annoyance. [b]? Next. Yuri Grant, step forward!?[/b] A young man with spiky black hair and light golden eyes stepped forward. Neron took note of this young man?s appearance and name. He would need it for later on when things were busy. The officer who called his name handed Yuri an ID card as well as a rather thick booklet. Yuri looked at the booklet?s title that read ?Piloting Manual ? Obsession?. He backed away after snapping to attention and saluting the officer. [b]? Next, Axel Veto! Step forward!?[/b] Neron watched as the only other young man stepped forward. He had medium-length blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. The officer looked Axel up and down before handing him an ID card as well as a booklet. [b]? Once on the battleship, go down into the hanger and choose your desired Volker fighter spacecraft. Slide your ID card into the main console of the Volker and it will be registered in your name. That is all.?[/b] Axel nodded and saluted before backing away. Now it was Neron?s turn. He stepped forward, his dark grey eyes looking at the officer in front of him. [b]? Neron Reinhardt I assume??[/b] the officer questioned. Neron nodded his affirmative. The officer handed him an ID card like the other two as well as what looked like a hand-held computer. [b]? It is by the request of the Rasm Government that you document the events upon the [I]Obsession[/I] for review in the future.?[/b] Neron?s eyes sharpened warily, sensing that something was amiss. However, he kept that thought to himself and took the two items of importance with an agreeable smile. [b]? How could I refuse the Rasm Government??[/b] the doctor said in a non-threatening manner. However, there was the slightest hint of sarcasm lingering behind the words. A sudden thump alerted the group to another person?s presence. They all looked around to see a golden-haired young man face first into the floor. Neron looked at the man with slight disdain. He seemed very clumsy and almost foolish as he lay there upon the floor. What exactly was he here for? A few moments later and the young man hastily stood, brushing himself off. The officer who was calling out names beforehand stepped forward. [b]? Jaden Dawn??[/b] [b]? Yes sir??[/b] the golden-haired ?boy? replied. The officer looked shocked for some reason, Neron noted. However, he quickly shook it off and handed Jaden an ID card, like the rest of them, and a thick manual. The doctor became suddenly curious as to what that manual was for. He didn?t manage to catch a glimpse of the title before the young man stuffed it away. [center][b]=================================================[/center][/b] [b]? Ladies, it?s time.?[/b] A group of four women, scattered across the room, looked towards one of the female officers that stood either side of a pair of large steel doors. It was three minutes past the deadline. The officer looked at them all with a warm smile. [b]? If you all gather here, I can give you out your ID cards and manuals.?[/b] The four women closed in on the female officer, surrounding her in a semi-circle. [b]? Lexiana Cartel??[/b] A woman with dark brown eyes and medium brown, shoulder length hair grabbed her ID card and manual. [b]? October Long.?[/b] A woman with warm chocolate brown hair and dark brown eyes grabbed her things. Her hair was short and styled in a funky way. [b]? Abelia Ondore??[/b] The only woman with long golden blonde hair and deep blue eyes stepped forward and took her card and manual. The officer looked at the three who had just received their items of importance. [b]? You three are Volker fighters. When you get on the battleship, go down into the hanger. There you can choose your own Volker fighter spacecraft. Slide your ID card into the main console of the Volker and it will be yours. Got that??[/b] The three women nodded and dispersed, leaving one long dark-haired woman left. The officer smiled at her warmly. [b]? Dr Laura Xerinth??[/b] The woman nodded. [b]? Here?s your ID card and your inventory for the registry. Good luck.?[/b] [center][b]=================================================[/center][/b] The doors in both the western entrance and the eastern entrance opened simultaneously. Each group filtered through the doors, the corridor they passed through only dimly lit. Their footsteps echoed loudly off the walls until they walked into an enormous room. Both groups walked instinctively to the railings they could see in the dim light. Then, all of a sudden, the lights switched on. Neron was dazzled for a few moments, his eyes not adjusting to the brightness quickly. However, as his vision returned, he could see a magnificent ship of silver and white hovering in the hanger. It truly was a work of genius. Even the doctor could see it was superbly built, able to put up one heck of a fight when the situation called for it. Suddenly, an odd sound reached Neron?s ears. It sounded? like voices, but honey sweet and high-pitched. He turned to the source of the murmurings only to see a group of four women looking back at him. His body froze like a statue. [b]? What is the meaning of this??[/b] The other males had also turned to see the women standing not 10 feet away from them. [b]? Good, you?re all here,?[/b] came a familiar voice from the right side of Neron. The doctor looked over his shoulder to see a holographic screen with Arusun Zeris? face upon it. Beside it, another screen popped up, instead showing a face of an elderly woman. [b]? What?s going on here?!?[/b] the short, brown-haired woman shouted at the screens. [b]? What are men doing here!?[/b] [b]? Calm down all of you,?[/b] the elderly woman said sternly. [b]? You have all been summoned here for a reason.?[/b] [b]? What reason could there be if women are involved??[/b] one of Neron?s group members, Yuri, growled. [b]? We did not intend for this to happen, but under the current circumstances, it was necessary,?[/b] Arusun Zeris said firmly, silencing all retorts from both groups. Neron stepped forward, towards the screens, pushing his glasses up his nose a little. [b]? What circumstances may those be, General Zeris??[/b] [b]? Three days ago, both Rasm and Svune Main Tower received a distress signal from one of the outer colonisation stations. As per the instructions in the message, both Agea and I read the contents of the message as first generation citizens. The message warned of a threat only known as the ?Harvesters?. There were sketchy details at best, however, we were able to determine that these ?Harvesters? were a threat to us.?[/b] [b]? This is why you all must work together,?[/b] the elderly woman, Agea, said softly. [b]? The [I]Obsession[/I] was designed to be the flagship of the Svune main corp. However, since this new threat has surfaced, it was decided that this battleship, and Rasm?s new Volker fighters were to combine forces and fight.?[/b] [b]? Unbelievable!?[/b] the long-haired blonde female cursed. [b]? It is for the sake of your home worlds that you work together,?[/b] Arusun said stiffly. It seemed he wasn?t in favour of this arrangement. [b]? But it?s necessary for our species? survival. Now, your orders are to organise yourselves for launch at 2000 hours. Get to know your fellow crew members because you?re going to be with them for a long time.?[/b][/color] OOC: Instructions are in the underground.[/size][/INDENT]

[size=2][b]A picture of the [i]Obsession[/i] is attached.[/size][/b] [size=1][U][b]INSTRUCTIONS[/b][/u] [b]ALL - [/b]These instructions are to be played out over a few posts, so don't try and squish it all into one post. As soon as the ship is ready for launch, then we start a new chapter. [b]Volkers fighters (Astdis, Veritas, Engel & Nucifer) - [/b] You are to go down into the hanger of the [i]Obsession[/i] and choose your fight, which means make up your own and describe it to the rest of us. It can be like a Gundam, Zoid or general mech. It's up to your imagination. [b]DC -[/b] You are to try and meet with everyone and learn their stations upon the ship. More than likely this may cause havoc because you have to interact with the females aboard. Remember that they are hostile towards men, and the same applies vice versa. Also try and check out the weaponry for the ship. This is up to your imagination. [b]Kairi - [/b] Your character is to make sure that everything is well stocked and the ship has plenty of supplies for the journey. You may also need to consult with the captain on what needs to be done, but remember the situation between the two genders. [b]Soliel - [/b] As your character is the pilot, you are to get him familar with how the piloting system of the [i]Obsession[/i] works. This means reading the manual and actually going into the piloting sphere itself. If you don't understand how the piloting system works, please PM me.[/size] [size=2][b][u]IMPORTANT -[/u] You can add as many NPCs (non-player characters) as you like. But if you do, please post their names, job description and general personality up here in the Underground. It only needs to be a couple of sentences all up for the three things. I will be keeping tabs on the NPC list and keep it updated here for those who want to use the same person. Also, our characters aren't the only ones on the ship. There will be mechanics, cooks, attendants, etc, etc, to help out with jobs on the ship. If you do create an NPC, put their description in here. Thanks all[/b][/size]

[size=1]Just a quick review. There was a few spelling and grammatical mistakes that need to be fixed up so that the story could flow more easily. The introduction to the main characters (Shea and Ilda) is well done. You really get a feel for what they are like. Although I haven't played Zelda, I can still understand this storyline. Good background detail into the clan and what the people of these clans are like. Lastly, I got a little confused in the middle section somewhere. I can't remember what I got confused about, sorry. But other than those few things, the chapter is well done. [b]- Redemption[/b][/size]

[size=1]Here's a quick banner. Dunno if its good or not. I haven't made an avi to go with it yet. If you would like one, PM me.[/size] [IMG]http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g282/bishie_owner/ob_creations/riku_banner.jpg[/IMG]

[size=1]*blinks..... blinks again* Well... that was.... hmm... It reminded me of Corpse Bride cross with some musical crossed with just plain randomness. With that said, I couldn't help but laugh. The story flowed well, even for its length. I thought that would put off people when they would read it but you'd finish it before you realised it. And the characters were hilarious. Well done DW, you're the scariest, most random person I know. *applause allround*[/size]