Dan L

On the internet? Oh dear.. I think I missed that part when I read the initial post... :p

[QUOTE=lava lamp]I like how 16 year olds talk down to 14 year olds online like they're Vietnam veterans or something. A lot of the morals being preached in this thread are coming from people who can't get laid. If you feel ready to tackle sex, wrap it up and enjoy yourself. It's your learning experience and not "血"biHorseWoman's or whatever. Sex doesn't always come with emotional baggage. "you really have no right to have sex" I think his right is his penis.[/QUOTE] The only people to have responded to totalimmortal are me, Chibihorsewoman and Roxie. I'm 21, Roxie's age doesn't appear in her profile, and CHW is going on 23. so already, at least 66% of the people responding are contrary to your stereotypes of "16 year olds talking down to 14 year olds like they're Vietnam veterans or something" Then also, Chibihorsewoman is married, so your second comment is a l ittle off too. Once all your grossly exaggerated and frankly incorrect stereotypes are out of the way- I really see very little backing and reason to take the rest of your retort as actual truth. It may well be "your learning experience" and not someone else's, but the thing about it is, that it's often best to have your learning experience with a little bit of wisdom from people who've been through the age that you're in and understand what you're lacking. And as I've said, I'm not just someone who's a couple of years older, making out that I have "seen the light" or been through it all or whatnot. I'm in a completely different time of my life, and I actually am a lot more mature (arrogant as you may think it sounds) and so is CHW. and as for the "it's you life, start having sex whenever you want" crap, that's wrong for one plain and simple reason. You are [i]not[/i] just potentially screwing up your [i]own[/i] life when you mess around with sex, but also someone else's as well.

Proactivity is always a good way to look at things. i.e. "Don't just sit there, do something about it". Ultimately it boils down to several arguments- The only way to get something done is to do something about it- things hardly ever just "fall into place" (either one person or the other has to put some kind of pro-active effort into it. May as well be you, as you can't guarantee that it'll be them..) Live life so as not to regret later. Don't waste time moping about not doing anything about liking someone, and then acting all surprised when you miss your chance, and then feeling down about all the times it's happened for years on end. DO SOMETHING. There are only a minority of strange people who take the words "I like you" ("love" is too presumptuous a word to use at that kind of stage) in a negative way. Unless you happen to like one of these people, the worst you can do is brighten up someone's day by telling them. However, you'd be well advised to get to know them well first. Forget the "can't date them once you know 'em" bullcrap. You [i]never[/i] know if you like somebody until you know who they [i]really[/i] are. Until that point all you like is the person that you assume them to be. Also it's best to note that these thoughts generally apply to people probably beyond the age of 16/17. Before that, it's also wise to add the thought that maybe you're either stupidly infatuated or just plain neither ready nor in need of a relationship just yet. As for me- I'm starting being a bit more proactive- and actually talking to this girl I liked for.. probably since February- and I started making more of an effort in March. We were both very busy, and one time we arranged something but she was ill. Right now, she's in Papa New Guinea, for the next two months or so. When she gets back I'll have a lot more time due to my course at St Tom's finishing, and maybe I can actually plan something which will happen :p.

[quote name='TOTALIMMORTAL']Some people think we're too young but we're both mature and ready for it, and we really love each other[/quote] You're 14 Those two facts are practically mutually exclusive. Maturity, believe it or not, is probably not what you think it is. It's not a point which you get to where suddenly you're ready to take on more things which adults do- it's [i]also[/i] knowing when you're clearly [i]not ready[/i] for those things- and that aspect seems to be the one you're lacking. As for why you're not ready, there are numerous reasons. Financially, you're not ready- in that what if it doesn't go according to plan and she becomes pregnant? you most certainly don't have the means to financially provide right now. Emotionally you're no-where near ready. You may think you are now, but in a few years time you'll know otherwise. Unless you see sex as a non-commitment thing. I could probably go into way more detail- but that'd ultimately be needless. Sorry if this seems a bit harsh- I just seriously believe that a lot of people your age have themselves fooled about their maturity. (edit: Err... sorry to sway a little away from the topic- not quite sure if I'm officially "off-topic" yet :S)

On the other hand in the UK, we have the NHS, which everyone who pays taxes, pays for, whether they ever use it or not. Whic h means that even people who can't afford treatments, get it. However, one of the biggest problems with the NHS is that people have become accustomed to getting anything they need for free- even if they don't [i]really[/i] need it that badly, which is a drain on the money they recieve, and also the NHS has a bad habit of employing managers over the doctors who haven't the slightest clue about medicine and how it would actually be best to use the money. Essentially it's a great system, the problem is that it's both run by and used by idiots, a lot of the time.

This would be an ideal thing to put in your sig, but probably not so much as the sole basis for a thread. If you don't delete it yourself it'll get closed fairly promptly- but don't take offense at that. There [i]are[/i] rules to be observed but you won't get kicked off or warned or anything for a minor thing like this- you'll just get told that posts are meant to initiate discussion. Other than that there's not a lot to say but welcome to OB (since I assume you are new)

There is definitely such a thing as love. Just because something is human, doesn't mean that either it doesn't exist, it's purely a result of chemicals anyway, or it's some kind of ideal that can't be reached. The problem with love is that very often it can't be found in most of the places we look. Often we assume that if we love somebody, we will love them straight away, and we will always love them constantly, and if not then it is not "true love". Whereas in reality love is something best built upon. Love isn't about a perfect relationship of any sort- but one which can mould, and most importantly, one where both people grow and are molded together and grow closer through it. So really, the question is not "is love real" as an emotion but "is "quick-fix love" real". That is, the concept that we seem to have that two people can just fall in love and stay in love and have a perfect relationship, because well, they're in love. Is that real? No. And most importantly, that is [b]not[/b] love, it [b]is[/b] lust. Lust doesn't have to be purely sex-oriented. You can lust over money, over posessions, over anything. In this case, the lust is for a relationship- and the reason that it is lust is simply because you want all the good things in a relationship, but you don't want to have to have the pain of building on what you have. You want it all now, you don't want to still be getting there in 10 years time. People who have been in very long term relationships will tell you that it takes a great number of years- the problem is that as a society we aren't willing to commit to that kind of length of time any more, and we certainly don't want to wait for "love" to appear in the relationship- we want it now. And of course, nobody gets it instantly. What they do have from sheer novelty value fades soon and they wonder where the love went- where actually all they were really focussed on was lust, and lust never holds out for long when you actually have what you've been lusting over. So many have been brought to the conclusion that love is fake- that it doesn't last, all that kind of crap, whereas in actuality they never really found it. There are other types of love of course- but they all need building on. You don't instantly hit it off as friends with somebody, and your family has to invest a lot of love into you in order to build that love up too. As for the spiritual love- that grows too! The main problem is that in practically all cases, people expect that if there is love, then it is instant and perfect love, and this is never the case.

Harry- there's a little thing called being constructive. You did a very good job of showing what No_Regrets is flawed on, but you failed abismally to actually do anything about it. Try being a little more humble and focus more on helping, rather than proving that either you're right or the other person is not. [quote name='No_Regrets']:( Please don't get angry christians :([/quote] It saddens me deeply that Christians have a reputation for being intolerant and that people have to watch what they say in order to not offend them. Given the actual message of the gospel, of grace for everyone, it's a very distorted view of what Jesus was really all about. But what is even sadder isn't the fact that Christians are viewed that way, but the fact that that view is justified in the vast majority of Christians- as people's experiences in this thread shows. [QUOTE=No_Regrets]Yeah.....People used to think I was Wiccan....and I was for a while.......then I ran out of $ and salt...........But mostly for other reasons I became Atheist. I think that it's nicer to think, that when you die, your dead. Than to think that if you don't practically devote your life to praying and worshiping some 'god' that we don't even know exists.......and like....If you are bad a few times in life or you don't want to worship this ' character from a book' you get to spend a peaceful eternity burning and suffuring in HELL. I like to live, and not be concerned with suffering when I die. and part of living is being good, and being bad. EVERYONE is a bad person at some point in time. It's nicer to think the way of the Atheist. In my oppinion. [I]Now for the apology: I know this post could be seen as offencive to any/all christians. I do not mean to begin a arguement, or to make anyone angry/ and or convert anyone. PLease don't yell at me because I ment no harm. I really have no problems with christians. I like everyone for what they do and their outlook on life and their way they live......I know religion is a part of it, but it's not something I really ever look at. This was NOT MENT TO OFFEND ANYONE. [/I][/quote] I'd just like to ask something of you- Never apologise to a Christian (or anyone else for that matter) about what you believe. OK, it's true that Christians believe that there's only one way to heaven, and that's through Jesus- but it's been misrepresented so badly over the years that people have come to think that that means "God is sending you to hell unless you become a Christian". In all truth heaven isn't going to be full of christians- and there are lots of Christians who won't make it in. And that's because it's a personal faith in God/Jesus- NOT the "Christian" label and lifestyle, that counts, at the end of the day. There are parts of the world today where there are Muslims, who worship and follow Jesus rather than Allah, and follow the Bible rather than the Koran- they worship in a mosque, just as they always did (They are NOT Christians- in that they wouldn't want to be called that). The only difference between them and the other Muslims is [i]who[/i] they follow, whereas in the West the message is given that it's not just who we follow, but also who we follow him with. Catholics aren't going to heaven, Protestants aren't going to heaven- name any denomination you like, I assure you that the Bible does not give them an all expenses paid ticket there. The only thing that makes any difference at all to your salvation is "have you accepted Jesus". If you also happen to be a Protestant or a Catholic or whatever, then that's fair enough, but that makes no difference whatsoever. Also, as Christians we seem to have forgotten the long path that a lot of us have come from. When I look back to my first week or two as a Christian, I had some of the dodgiest theology going. I didn't really know the significance of marriage, or even that it should come before sex, nor did I know the Biblical stance on homosexuality, I knew nothing at all about praying, and didn't particularly think that everything in the Bible was necessarily true. What I have gained on Earth in the last two years is a fair amount of knowledge and experience- some of which may even be a hindrance to my faith if I take it too seriously. However, my salvation has not changed one bit. God is no closer to me now, nor any further away, and heaven is no more or less certain. Sometimes as Christians we can forget the distannce we've come in our faith, and equally we can forget that we were saved every second of it. And so very rarely do we actually make the connection that someone doesn't have to actually believe the same as us in order to be saved- they don't have to go to church every sunday in a massive old building, or a shiny new one, or whatever building a church can meet in. You don't have to read the Bible, you don't have to pray, fast, or anything else. All these things are very, very useful, but only after you have faced one simple fact: that Jesus' salvation is not conditional. It's not conditional on what you do, what you think, what you believe, or anything else- it's not conditional. And once you realise that, you can start showing the same unconditional love to others- regardless of what they do, think, believe, etc. Just as God wants us to. Anyway, that was a long rant about what Christianity is all about really, and what the Gospel really means. When it comes to faith, there is a hell of a lot more to it than that- but if you try and do that without the gospel it gets you absolutely nowhere so it wasn't my intention to touch on that subject.

[QUOTE=Oceanborn]And, yeah, I am an atheist (kind of. I'd rather say, I have my own believings, and I stay out of confessions). So here we go a little more^_^. No offense. ... In that case, what is God? Deus? Is God something we truly believe in? Do we believe in ourselves? Are we our own Gods? Is God somebody(-thing) allmighty and powerful? What is almightiness? The possibility to absolutely create? The Human also can create; while time passes, the Human learns to create better and better. Is God the a final stage of evolution of one being? Is God something incomprehensible? God thought out Humanity and let Humanity thought out God? Is God a word that has a meaning, and which may be the meaning, if it's not something to understand. What does it understand? A Higher Power? And, by the way, God is not the only god thought out or believed by humans. Yes, words are here to have some kind of meaning; they are for humans to communicate with each other. God is incomprehensible? What could I say? Humanity is (oh, not again the type of thoughts... I'm going in circles) evloving, understanding things which were not to understand before. Therefore, at some point, humanity shall understand Godlikeness? Deus ex machina? A God Created? What would then be a difference between the Demiurge and one who has become Demiurge? What is a body? A material shell? Organs, blood, stuff? What does it exist for? To prove for us that we are (existing)? To wield our mind? What does a mind consist of? Protons, neutrons? Is a mind matherial? In that case, can you learn to create a mind? An arificial mind? Huh-oh, nowadays it sounds too much of sci-fi. (BTW, my dad is working in a science university... A few month ago we had some smart chitchat, he mentioned that efforts are positive in creating neuronets - that's actually AI, only at the real point it's smartiness is not really much more than of a cell. And I'm too lazy to go on on that, but anyway.) Fewww, I'm kinda tired of typing and doing wired-up logic combos. Anyway, here I am^_^![/QUOTE] I'm not going to answer any of this but go on a different note cos quite frankly, just because something sounds clever doesn't make it a good question, nor does it make it good philosophy. "Philosophy" itself means "love of wisdom" in greek. And I'd make quite a distinction between wisdom and the stuff that spews out from a lot of people these days, because our society (more particularly young people) is at the point that we don't [i]really[/i] value wisdom that much, but knowledge and "intellectual-ness". And that's the only flaw I find in your arguments. You either have a lot of knowledge or you appear to (not so much relatively- knowledge isn't as unique a thing as it used to be), but when it comes down to it you ask the questions out of emptiness. They may sound clever, but to me they positively reek of unfulfilment. By that I mean that even if I were to answer your questions, you wouldn't really gain very much from it. You'd still be in the same place- asking barrages of questions out of a hollowness of spirit. What I can tell you is fairly simple: There is no need to bother concerning yourself with the finer details of what reality is. There is very good spiritual teaching which basically says "don't concern yourself with matters higher than yourself, but learn to apply the gospel to your life", i.e. don't go worrying about the finer points of doctrine (did we evolve? when is christ coming? did god really make eve out of adam's rib?) but only really aspire to learn what is useful to know. Because if nothing works outwardly from what you learn, then you are wasting your learning on futile things. The same principal can apply to the whole question of reality. It's all well and good theorising about what reality really is, but what good really comes of it? If we are actually living in a real and spiritual world, and are going to an afterlife, then some day we will know about it. If we are living in some kind of false reality that we will one day awaken from, then again, some day we will know about it. However, if we are living in a real world, or a false world, or whatever, but we're just products of chemicals and all that we are destined to after death is nothingness, then someday we will know absolutely nothing. So really, [i]either[/i] we're going to find out eventually, or whatever conclusion we come to, will never really matter because we'll be too dead and nonexistant to know whether we were right or wrong. So at the end of the day, all intellectual pondering about what reality really is, is completely futile if it is the main focus of our philosophy. On the other hand, you can learn about all sorts of other things which will actually benefit you in your day to day life. You can learn and acquire all sorts of skills, and knowledge which you may need, and you will get a lot further than when you just spend a lot of time thinking about reality. Even if you end up dead and nonexistent after you die, what you will have actually done with your life will be much more significant if you spent it practically applying things into your life, rather than just sitting there thinking about things which are way over your head. You don't need to be a Christian or religious to see the sense in that; it doesn't matter [i]what[/i] reality is, it's what we make of it that will count at the end of the day, (regardless of whether that is judged by some higher being or not) because everything else will either be revealed or we'll be too dead to know. (I'd add my personal opinion on stuff and give some disclaimer but once again I've hit the boards pretty late and I need to be off to bed)

Your question in itself may seem a little bit cliched, but it is a very spiritual question in itself. Before hoardes of people dismiss what I just said, let me explain- The universe, God or no God, is a creative place, and a created place. You don't necessarily need to believe that God made it out of nothing in order to see this. Even if you think the materials have always been around, they have been shaped by the natural forces of the universe into something infinitely more useful and beautiful- something which far surpasses the work of any artist or creative genius of man. "[i]Andre Gide describes the time when he observed a moth being reborn from it's chysalis. He was filled with wonder, awe, joy at this metamorphisis, this resurrection. Enthusiastically, he showed it to his professor who replied with a note of disapproval, "What! Didn't you know that the chrysalis is the envelope of a butterfly? Every butterfly you see has come out of a chrysalis. It's perfectly natural." Disillusioned, Gide wrote 'Yes indeed, I knew my [b]natural[/b] history as well, perhaps better than he...But because it was natural, could he not see that it was marvellous? Poor creature! From that day, I took a dislike to him and a loathing to his lessons[/i]" (Source: Richard Foster/Celebration of Discipline, Chapter 5- Study) A very common problem today among more intellectual types is what I deem as excessive "head-knowledge". Essentially people know all the stuff in their textbooks, and they know all the arguments for and against what they believe, they know how things work, etc. They know stuff in their heads, and they assume that that's all that's really necessary. Like the professor in the quote above, they already know how stuff works- so why on earth should they be amazed by it, captivated by the beauty of the natural? I'm not saying it's wrong to have lots of knowledge- but if that's all you have then you are a very, very empty being. Just as emotion without some kind of head-control can be a very dangerous thing, a set of boundaries with nothing contained within them makes you hollow. As I said, we live in a creative and created universe. thus our mindset will take the form that nothing can be unless it is created- whether it is created by a force or a God, or who knows what else. However, if God is the creator of the universe, then that means that he is outside the barriers of creation. You can't create something from the inside- you can build it around you, so that when it is finished you are inside it, but you can't create it from inside, in that I can't create a car, being already sitting in the car before I set out to build it. God did not create the universe from the point of view that he was already in a created universe- but rather he is outside this law that things are created. He created the universe, and he created us to create. Our whole lives are meant to be following the pattern of his creation process (ie. the seven day week with one day rest, etc), and to create things ourselves. It doesn't matter what you do as a job, you are creating something. Even if you are only sorting things or cleaning things, you are putting effort in and changing whatever you put that effort into. So our whole lives are a process of creation (also destruction- which when used properly is merely an aid to create some more- but we live in a fallen world, so it's not always like that...), within a universe where creation is a key thing. However God, even though he initiated all of creation, did not come from the sort of created place that our lives are set in. In fact the very term "came from" in itself infers some kind of creation, which in itself points out my own disposition towards everything being created. The fact is that as we live in a creative world, and God is outside that boundary, we can never really understand how exactly he can be uncreated. It's just useful to know why that is. OK, up until now I haven't really answered the question, just gone from one random idea to another. But here we go- The answer to the majority of your questions, from my point of view, is simple. God created you. God created this universe. The universe exists, it's not just some made up fictional thing which we're connected to. As for who you are- God creates you in a certain way. I am completely different to my housemate Jude- we're practically polar opposites, and that's the way we were made. But there [i]are[/i] things which you get to decide. You get to decide whether you're going to be controlled by your situation, or whether you're going to seize control of your life, for example. Are you going to let everyone and everything else decide your fate, or are you going to find out what you want and go for it with all you've got? That isn't something exclusive to some people and not to others, unlike some personality aspects- it's just something which some people decide to do and others don't, even though they could. You are what God makes you, and what you make yourself. and, to a lesser extent, what everyone else makes you out to be. Other than that-.... man, I'm tired. I don't know if I've really finished this properly, but heh, I need sleep. Everything in this post is my opinion and is not necessarily absolute truth, so don't treat it as though I'm shoving it down your throats, please -dan

I've never lost a good friend over religion- note the word "good". That doesn't mean "good" has to mean morally sound and perfect, but as someone who actually builds you up and is there for you, that is good regardless of whatever else may be in their lives, and God's grace is sufficient to cover the rest. However, there are some people who just aren't very constructive at all to one's faith. And often you'd be surprised who those people are. The Pharisees were one example of people who weren't constructive to people's faith, before and after the death of Jesus. And today, it's often better for your faith to go out and befriend those shunned by the world as "bad" than it is to listen to the words of many a vicar/pastor who is legalistic and faithless. And it can often be better to spend time with the simple who let faith in, than the "intelligent" who just resort to cynicism because it sounds clever, whereas in actual fact it's a constant drain on faith. I'm not saying people with faith should completely break off any connections with those faithless church leaders, or the cynical people of the world. Some people are a more extreme drain on your faith than others- and it's only really when they are completely against what you believe (as opposed to not really following it) that you should "kick the dust off your feet and leave". But there is a time and a place for cutting off friendships which are damaging to your faith. Unfortunately a lot of Christians think they're in that time and place a lot more often than they really are.

[quote name='HOTpage2004']Why are we afraid to die? Some say they do and some say they dont. But they ones that dont, inside are they really afraid. Lets say that right now, someone is standing over you with a blade and is going to kill you, why do you feel afraid? Everything that is born has to die, it's nature. Even I am afraid to die, but why? Can anyone answer that?[/quote] There are some who do not fear death. Whether that's because they are better culturally equipped to deal with it (in the West we run away from it so much that we naturally fear it) or whether they just don't think about it, there are some who don't fear it. But death is a big deal for everyone. Some fear it, some celebrate it, some can't get enough of inflicting it, some meditate upon it, some are so deeply affected by it that they are numb to it, but it has a great affect on all of us. The way animals deal with death is a little different. One of our cats died, and all the other did was lick it's face, kind of a "goodbye kiss" and that was that. She wasn't particularly bothered after that point. Animals really don't seem anywhere near as concerned about death as we do. They only really seem to fear death at the point where they could be killed- kind of an instinctive thing. whereas humans fear the inevitability of death itself. When you think about it, it doesn't make a lot of sense. Why would something evolve to put such emphasis on such a great anticlimax, as death? That is, to fear or to look to death while it is far off, and either fear that there is nothing later or to look forward to what is- rather than to fear it because of our instinct to survive. The only solution I can really think of is that we're simply not meant to die, or that we're not simply meant to die and that there is in fact more. And actually, there is absolutely nothing in our genetic code which tells us that we have to die. Don't think that's some stupid Christian science rubbish- I knew that long before I even became a christian. consider this- God made people, without the original intention that they would die, they would just live with him for ever, and then all of a sudden, he has to change his plans because man just made a stupid mistake, and people have to die. God already has a plan to redeem them and to bring them to fullness of life, without death. But because the world itself has been so affected by man and his stupid ways, God can't actually do it here and now, but has to start from scratch at some point in the future, with a new world, full of redeemed people who through [b]grace[/b] managed to get in on the plan. Consider that actually the plan of redemption is for everybody, despite the fact that not everybody sees and accepts it. If God made us with no intention of death, and then all of a sudden we started dying, don't you think it would be a pretty big deal for people to cope with? We just can't get our heads quite around what it must be like to be dead, because it's just not what's meant to happen, so we fear it. Or we try to understand it and become pretty morbid, lifeless people. Or maybe if we're sadistic we inflict it upon others, because we can and it makes us feel powerful. Also, if God's purpose for us then changed to live on after death, then surely people would start looking beyond it, even preparing the way for each other, celebrating the passing from this life to whatever is to come. Animals on the other hand, tend to see a dead animal and either start eating it or don't really react that much to it. Of course, the other part of the story is that everyone continues to live after death, but not everyone is in on the plan that God has for redemption. And for God's sake, don't interpret what I'm saying as "you're all going to hell cos you're bad, I'm going to heaven cos I'm good". I'm not any better than anyone here- all I've done is accepted Jesus and the second chance he's given me on life, and hence I am forgiven. It's not as if it's a particularly hard or holy thing to do, and nor does it require that you change yourself in any way, or that you be worthy to do it- you just need to ask god for it, exactly as you are. If you can't or won't do that, then I'll pray for you, but beyond that it's all down to you and God. Assuming my beliefs are accurate, you have to understand that I don't want to see anyone not given a second chance and eternal life- I don't want to see anyone who is in fact no worse than me, condemned to a much worse fate. Most people do a lot of complaining that the Bible teaches that those who don't believe in Jesus are destined to a not-so-brilliant-fate. Well, that's exactly why I keep raving on every so often about how you can opt out of it- because I don't like that fact any more than you do. I'm going to stop there, to avoid going on an even greater tangent. Thus concludes my view on death.

O_O Al, you've gotten very, very good. I never realised you could draw quite like that.. heh. Love the sheer detail you've put into it, very impreesed by the line-work, and quite frankly I can't see why you've not got more responses so far.. heh DO ME NEXT!! :p -Dan

Bush tries to appeal to war veterans by convincing them that he lost his two middle fingers back in Vietnam

[quote name='Emme888']OH yeah i told my boyfriend everyone.. and he dumpted me... said he didn't need all the stress of things.. and to boot i found out that he's now going with another girl....[/quote] I don't think it was a stupid idea for you to have told him. For one thing now you know where he stands with regards to the real you. In contrast to what Harry said, I'd say that it was definitely a good idea, and certainly not a horrible one. As human beings, we were made for relationship. And if you don't believe that, then we just evolved that way- but either way, relationships are key to our existence. Regardless of how trivial a deal it may seem at a young age, a boyfriend actually makes quite a large contribution into most girls' lives, and even if he doesn't do so intentionally, he makes a significant commitment to her. Regardless of whether you're intending it only short-term for the moment, or whether you're looking to bigger things in the future, ultimately two people in relationship like that share their lives with each other (that is, when it is a relationship, as opposed to dating for the sake of it). So, if you shared something of what you're really going through and he couldn't deal with it, then at the end of the day, you're really better off without him. You don't really get much lasting good from a relationship where you can't get support for the things you're going through. Essentially that's like saying "hey, I really like you, and want to be with you, but you're basically on your own" which isn't much of a fair deal. A lot of this is much more applicable to more mature people- ie 18+, and virtually not at all at the age of 15 and below (because the concept of relationships is just to be cool, rather than to actually share anything), but to a certain extent these things hold true for everyone.

Straight off, I'd like to say that [i]ideally[/i] any and all problems of this magnitude should be dealt with with real-life contacts. For the simple reason that there is far greater accountability- it's a lot easier to just disappear off a website, and you can't always guarantee that you'll even see the people you talk with, and rarely do you meet them. In a real life situation where you discuss it with real life people, they will see you again and hold you accountable (or they should, if they want to help). Despite all the "net communities", interaction over the internet really isn't anywhere near as personal or as helpful as in real life. Discussing it with someone you know, or simply someone you have to meet, is a [i]lot[/i] harder, and even more risky, in that sometimes it's a stupid thing to talk with a particular person about it. I recognise that, but if you can find someone you can trust, it's the absolute best advice I can give. That said, I did say that [i]ideally[/i] that's what you should do- and I believe that you'd get far more help that way than any other. But if you really feel that you can't do it, I'll gladly hear you out. Just know that I don't think any of us will ever help you quite as much as someone who can actually relate with you, as opposed to just relate to you. Second thing, it's a fairly widely recognised fact that for the kind of problems you're talking about- you personally can't get out of it. What that means is not that you are beyond hope, but that you, on your own, can not lift yourself out of whatever you're in. A lot of programs aiming to help people out tell you to recognise that and to rely on a "higher power" of some sort, to help you out. For me, being a Christian, that's God. For someone else, it's something different. But essentially, whether you're a Christian or not, I recommend praying about it, or something similar, regardless of whether or not you know who or what you are praying to. That's about all the input I' probably need to give. I know you said you "do not always need help on recovery, and do not always want it", but that just had to be said from the start :p. Don't worry about condemnation though- I'm not giving this advice cos I see something wrong with you that I want to cure, I do it because you deserve better than these problems and I want to see you free from them. God loves you, whether you can find anything to love in yourself or not.

*in reference to the first post* Ummm.... that's all very true, but what are we actually discussing here...? I mean- you've spouted a lot of facts there, but I don't really see where the interaction is supposed to come in..

A few highlights from my day at work: 1- Flicking elastic bands at a workmate 2- Hiding the workmate's tub (I work in a warehouse- you pick stuff off the shelves and put it in a tub) 3- 4 of us watching a mosquito suck the blood out of another workmate (including the "suckee") 4- throwing a large, flat peice of cardboard around like a frisbee 5- stuffing yet another workmate's shirt pocket with polythene I think most of us in that workplace are very easily amused..

Well I'm 21 and.. longest relationship eh..? Precisely 0 days and counting... Counting from when, I have no idea. But hey, I'm not much for having a long list of women or a short list of long-term women which I've been in relationship with. As long as one turns up at the end of the day, I'm happy :p.

Actually, the main reason that intro's aren't allowed any more is that there used to be an intro section, but it ended up filling up with spam. (it was probably slightly more complex than that, but that was the basic gist of it)

Merlin Matrix: Your idea of mercy is incredibly flawed; "if they show no mercy, then give no mercy". Where exactly do you suppose that mercy comes from? Mercy is to withhold something which somebody deserves (as opposed to grace, which is to give something good which somebody doesn't deserve). What you are referring to is favour- "they've shown us favour despite being our enemies; we'll do the same": it works on a two-way basis where both sides treat each other well on the condition that they get treated well themselves. Mercy is about forgiveness- it has [i]nothing[/i] to do with whether or not you have already been shown mercy, because it is about [i]forgetting[/i] what you have had done wrong to you. So don't go blabbing on that mercy should be shown when you're given it, cos that's just not how it works.

[quote name='Transtic Nerve']Maybe those people should learn better ways to defend themselves. I once saw a blind woman beat up 4 guys attacking her, who weren't blind. She didn't seem to need a gun, why would anyone else?[/quote] that and I think a blind woman would be far more dangerous to everyone in general (as opposed to just her attackers) with a gun, than without one. ---- I'm british, so I live in a place where gun control is a lot more.. well, I guess you could call it strict. Thing is, I don't really see it that way, and I don't think many others around here do either. I mean, what need is there to have a gun, [i]really[/i]..? If anything, I don't consider our gun laws strict as much as I see America's to be incredibly loose to a rediculous level. The simple fact is that you don't even need a gun in day to day life. Over here, hardly anyone has a gun in their house, and you just don't walk around, even at night, in fear of being shot (though there is a fair share of dodgy goings on at night which don't involve shooting). The other week there was a shooting in Netheredge, a part of Sheffield quite near to where I live- and it was quite a shock.. that sort of thing rarely goes on in Britain at all. Believe me, if there is tight gun control to the point that hardly anyone owns a gun- nobody even needs a gun, so the fact that we have tighter gun control is not generally complained about.

[quote name='Serraph-Angel][size=1']when Im with her I just feel like Im a different person.[/size][/quote] You're naive if you think that it'll always be that way. Don't get me wrong- I'm not being cynical about anything here, just stating the fact that in the end you will only end up being yourself, not some "different person". If you're somehow better around her -probably just due to the novelty of it- then as soon as the novelty wears off, you're just back to yourself and that particular argument falls to bits. Not only that, but by that time you've no doubt noticed all the annoying things about her too and she's not the "different person" either. By all means, keep a relationship going because of love- but that "different person" feeling doesn't last forever, and in most cases it doesn't last all that long.

[quote name='Buraso_Saru484']:bawl::bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: HAMANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NOBODY EVER ANSWERS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: THAT'S NOT NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU PEOPLE ARE MEAN!!!!! ::runs off crying::[/quote] .....that's one way to do it... unfortunately not the best way... try waiting a bit longer.. (and maybe putting something into a thread rather than operating on a "I'm bored, you go first, then I'll say something" basis.)

[QUOTE=callmegoddess04]Well, I wad doing some research, and this came up: Apparently there are different personalities for the years, too. Myabe the reason you two are different is because your years are different. ^^ I was born 1991, as a goat, and my personalities are very close. Destiny's, though, are kinda... different. Rabbit(delicate), and Libra(non-delicate) if you see what I mean. You know, I think they made this stuff because they knew we were gonna come up with this eventually. ::nods sagley:: j/k. I think they made it because a majority of people born on the same dates all acted alike, or something. But of course, people change. I also think its like the superstition thing: It works if you believe in it.[/QUOTE] That would account for it, except when I was in high school I had two friends, one of which was born two days before me, another a day later- and there was someone else who I knew who was born two days after me. We were born the same year, in the same star sign, and we were all completely different.