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Posts posted by James
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I went back and saw how much I hated myself. I always knew I did, always knew I was an ass and acted out blindly and stupidly. Cocky, opinionated, chauvinistic. Truth be told, I hated myself at the time, too. Blamed myself for things I had no control over, blamed others for the things I did. I’m amazed I was tolerated. I guess people saw through the nastiness, saw the reasons written between the lines? I don’t know.
I wouldn’t have been friends with me.
I had a lot dumped on me at the time, had some opportunities that I both had taken away and let slip away. Acted out out of insecurity, of fear and aggression. It’s shameful. I am ashamed of who I was, and to an extent who I am. I think I’m a better person now. Maybe even a good one?I'm no authority on this, but the ability to introspect is a big part of self-improvement.
That’s the other part I hate. I don’t remember it all. I remember the feelings, I remember some of the names. I remember them being really important at the time, staying up late into the night and early into the morning having long discussions over AIM and reacting to every little perceived slight so egregiously poorly. I don’t know if it’s the concussions, the chronic insomnia, the depression, time, or something worse that dimmed those memories. My mom got diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and dementia at 65, and it’s horrible. She has good days and bad days and doesn’t remember them after, but everyday I think about “what if that happens to me, too?”Don't be too hard on yourself about this. It's been a very long time. I mean, I was most active on OB nearly twenty years ago. So much has happened since then, so much has changed in my life and in the world. And, frankly, the last few years have felt like they were filled with a lot of trauma for various reasons. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people forgot a lot of the things that happened while they were active on OB.
For me... my memory is generally pretty vague until/unless I am reminded of something. Just browsing through the boards reminds me of a lot of big and little things I'd largely forgotten.
Is AIM even still a thing?I haven't been on AIM in so long! I have no idea if the app even exists now, heh.
How about you? What do you regret? What do you remember? What do you treasure?I'm sure if I think about it I probably have a lot of regrets. When it comes to OB, I'm sure I was probably too strict at times, and maybe my behaviour impacted some people more negatively than I realised at the time. It's hard to say, that's just my assumption.
Having said that, I prefer to deliberately think about the good times; the past is the past, and I can't change it now. It's easy to ruminate about the negatives, or to wish I'd done some things differently. But doing that now won't help me or anyone else, you know?
For me, OB was a big part of my life, and the community here was very important to me. Like others, I'd say that OB helped me get through some very difficult times, especially when I first moved out of home. Even though most people have moved on now, I still cherish those years a lot and I have many good memories from that time.
It's been a long time, so maybe my memory is fuzzy...but I always liked you, and thought you added value to discussions here. To be fair, the way we perceive ourselves is often not the same as the way others perceive us. ? -
How gorgeous! Good to know that they are doing well.
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So, no word on what happened to Rick Hunter? ?
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On 1/15/2022 at 5:55 AM, Gavin said:
It struck me as the type of movie that benefits from multiple viewings, I'll probably give it another go in a few months.
This is my overarching thought too. When I first came out of the cinema, I really wasn't sure how to feel. Did I like it or not? I'm a huge Matrix fan (having argued passionately in favour of the sequels on these very forums for years, heh) but I was genuinely confused about Resurrections initially.
But over time - after watching some commentary on it, and re-watching - I've come to appreciate it.
It occurs to me that The Matrix trilogy is a very neat triptych; trying to extend the story was always going to be a daunting task. I think Lana Wachowski took the right approach by applying a meta lens on the whole thing. At the same time, she actually provided a very plausible chronological sequel (the front half of the film is wonderfully cynical, while the back half is lovingly earnest and digs into what happened after the events of Revolutions).
I suppose that my biggest criticism of the film is that its special effects aren't nearly as mind-bending as the original trilogy. Don't get me wrong, there are some wonderful shots
like the sequence that leads into the bullet train, and the 'tiny mirror' sequence
but I feel that the special effects here aren't as ambitious. That said, I like the transition to natural lighting, and I think you can see that Lana Wachowski leveraged a lot of her learnings from post-Matrix films (the cinematography feels less "tightly controlled" here, and more natural - aligned with the lighting, I guess).
I can't say really what score I'd give this, because it almost defies numerical scoring for me. In some respects, I think Lana pulled off the impossible with this film. She actually made a sequel that simultaneously extended the plot of the trilogy while also itself being a super unique and conceptually ambitious movie (in a similar way to the original film). I think I have to accept the reality that no movie is going to completely replicate the impact of the original trilogy for me, which is okay.
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On 7/16/2021 at 4:44 AM, Shy said:
Also: My PMs are FILLED with planning and strategy for our rpgs. I forget how involved stuff like Final Quest For Glory 2 was, and all of the controversy surrounding it.
- Shy
Yeah, so much work went into those RPGs. I have really fond memories of them.
I'm wondering if anyone has heard from Kevin/Rick Hunter? What's he doing these days? He had a YouTube channel for a little while but it's gone now...
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On 7/3/2021 at 1:28 AM, Petie said:
Threads shouldn't have been lost - just broken because the converter that Invision supplied completely ruined much of the formatting. Are you seeing threads that are outright gone?
I personally haven't noticed anything missing, but certainly, the HTML-heavy RPGs we used to do are borked. But at least the content is still there! It's fun to go back sometimes and re-read that old stuff.
I'm still just blown away that the PMs survived! I feel like I could write a book about my PM discussions, haha.
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5 hours ago, Petie said:
I'm ashamed to say I haven't actually finished it yet but I have been playing Alyx and it's an outstanding experience.
When I heard it was coming out, I realized I had never actually played the original games so I played through all of Half-Life (and its expansions), and then all of Half-Life 2 (and the follow-up episodes) before starting Alyx and really had a blast finally experiencing them.
That's cool. I'm playing Alyx super slowly so that it doesn't end too soon, heh.
Like you I'm also playing through the earlier games as well. Are you playing Half-Life: Source or Black Mesa? I highly recommend the latter. Although it's created by a fan community, I'd say it's really the definitive version of the original game. And Half-Life 2 is simply incredible. It remains an amazing game even now in 2021.
Out of curiosity, where are you up to in HL: Alyx?
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3 hours ago, Heaven's Cloud said:
James, I hope so.
Me too. Last night I went into my private messages on here and realised they'd all been retained! My god, it was a cornucopia of wonders from (almost) the last 20 years. At one stage, Kevin from AE invited me to participate in a podcast debate about AE/OB...haha. So bizarre to read that (and my response) from the time.
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Has anyone played Half-Life: Alyx? I can't believe OB has been around for so long that we actually saw the arrival of Half-Life 3 (well, kinda).
Playing through Half-Life: Alyx has prompted me to (yet again, for the millionth time) play through Half-Life 2. It's incredible to me just how well that game has held up. It still looks and sounds amazing, and the gameplay is as sharp as ever. It's really stunning - definitely one of my favourites.
Also, Mass Effect: Legendary Edition is pretty good. It's definitely bringing back memories. The series really holds up well.
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"OB will exist until the end of the world."
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On 8/22/2020 at 6:36 AM, Japan said:
I can't wait to see photos! I know about the food.... There's this Japanese Italian family restaurant I ate at a few times while there. (I also finally got to try okonomiyaki! Yay Ranma 1/2 dream realized!) I had this Japanese ish spaghetti with long skinny mushrooms? Which apparently is only native to Asia so I can't replicate here ? but it was oddly SO GOOD!!!)
Also unrelated this happened Wednesday
Oh yes I saw this on Discord. Congratulations!! Such gorgeous photos. ?
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On 8/22/2020 at 6:26 AM, Japan said:
Hmm maybe mandalorian?
Hm, not a bad idea. But I don't think I could do justice to it. ?
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Right now I'm playing:
Persona 4 Golden
I had bought a Vita a while ago and kinda just left it collecting dust. I didn't get Persona games...I kept dying in Persona 4 Golden, heh. But then I played Persona 5 and I began to understand how you're supposed to play these games...so I've now gone back to Persona 4G and I'm loving it. I just picked up Freedom Wars as well, which I'm keen to try out.
Ghost of Tsushima
What can I say about this? It's getting rave reviews. It's really good. I'm slowing down on it a bit more now though...it's a very large game, and starts to feel a bit repetitive. But it's still lovely. I'm chipping away at it here and there.
Catherine Full Body
Never played the original version of this, so I was keen to try it out on PS4. I'm enjoying it so far for the most part.
Pillars of Eternity
This is my first real go at a CRPG (even though I'm playing on console). I've never been able to get into CRPGs really - never had the patience. But I'm giving this a serious shot, and I'm generally enjoying it. It's really fantastically written. I've mostly got the hang of how combat works, but there are some things that confuse me and aren't explained well in-game, so no doubt I'll be hunting for some tips on YouTube. ?
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On 8/13/2020 at 5:20 AM, Japan said:
I stayed in chiba as that's where my friend lived that I visited. It was just a two week trip. From there I got to see:
Narita shrine
Asakusa
Tokyo skytree
Harajuku (cat Cafe here... Scottish folds dressed as vampires so cute!)
Takeshita Street, the crossing and Hachiko statue in shibuya.
Odaibya (gundam statue and gundam Cafe)
Ikebukuro (looked up real life places in Durarara)
Akihabara for gashapon store and ff15 cafe
DisneySea
Osaka for takoyaki on the street, universal studios japan
Kyoto for fushimi Inari shrine (we got stormed out so it was the only thing we got to do here but my Kyoto bucket list basically done)
Went to a local playground, local onsen to try it out, mcdonalds and I forgot where but I hung around town while my friend went to her university for a university test.
I was a little disappointed with Disney sea mainly cause my friend took me there with her boyfriend and I felt left out and third wheel. Fushimi Inari was exactly how I dreamed. Ikebukuro was sort of... Meh? I absolutely loved the rest though and the onsen was the most relaxing experience ever even though I was the only foreigner there. Mcdonalds portions are HUGE in America and I felt like I ate a kids meal. I should of known better to visit end of monsoon season (end of September early October) but the tickets were cheaper.... (thus the storm in Kyoto) I'm glad I went. Next time I want to do more history stuff and go to Disneyland. USJ was great! Japanese hogwarts was interesting and Hermione sounded like a mouse. But... The best part of the whole trip was the food. I learned to cook more Japanese food and I felt like I was in heaven. (it's hard and expensive to get good takoyaki at home so it was neat that I got to eat so much of it! On the way home, I flew into LAX. The flight home was way better than the flight there. I ended up sitting next to this rocker dude enthusiast who was going to Los Angeles or Vegas to see a big concert. We chatted in broken English and Japanese and it was a great time. I also got to see wolf children for the first time on my seat TV. I can't wait to go again.
Nice one! Looks like you got the chance to do quite a lot.
I agree with you 100% about the food. My goodness. There's SO much great food everywhere you go! The best food I had was probably at a little Japanese curry place at Nara Station. It was really small and didn't look special from the outside, but when I went inside, there were a lot of awards hanging on the walls. The curry was so incredible - best I've ever had in my life. I still get cravings for it, haha.
Fortunately there's a lot of great Japanese food in Australia, as Japanese restaurants (often run by Japanese folks) are very common. But still, there's nothing quite like eating Japanese food in Japan. Mind you, the moment you stray from Japanese food over there it starts to get a bit iffy. Their western food is often a bit patchy, and I was surprised that their Chinese food is often not great (at least in my experience). Ironically, we also went to an Indian restaurant in Ginza (one of the very few I saw) and it was also one of the best Indian restaurants I've ever been to. I love Indian food... so that was a nice surprise.
You did quite a few things I didn't. For example, I didn't get the chance to go to the Fushimi Inari shrine...despite that being so famous! But I did go to Nijo Castle and Honmaru Palace as well as a few other historical places, all of which were stunning.
In terms of our journey, it kinda went like this:
- Arrived in Tokyo and stayed one night in Shibuya.
- Next morning (super early... ugh) took the Nozomi Shinkanzen to Hiroshima.
- Spent a good few days in Hiroshima and did NYE there (which was amazing).
- Took Nozomi from Hiroshima to Kyoto.
- Spent a few days in Kyoto and while we were there, we also visited Nara and Osaka (we only did one night in Osaka, I wish we'd done more).
- Went from Kyoto to Tokyo on Shinkanzen.
- Stayed in Ginza for about a week and explored around Tokyo from there.
We did a ton of stuff around Tokyo. The biggest highlight for me was the Studio Ghibli Museum in Mitaka. Words can't describe that place. Honestly, it brought me to tears at one point. It was beyond gorgeous.
Really lovely to hear about your trip - I am going to see if I can share some pictures here. I've gotta get 'em off my phone! ?
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On 8/13/2020 at 5:40 AM, Japan said:
Yesssss more rpgs just to get this place active again!
Any ideas on a type of RPG/theme?
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On 7/13/2020 at 10:47 AM, Gavin said:
I'm sure you could coax a few old faces into it you big charmer. ?
The big question is, what should it be about? I haven't written any kind of fiction in years. If I could get the gang back together (or most of them), I'd like to have a crack at either a new Maverick Hunters RPG or even just continuing the last one. It'd be super weird (but also kinda cool) to just resume something we stopped a decade ago. ?
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On 8/10/2020 at 9:01 AM, Japan said:
So it's check in time. It's been over eight years. Were your predictions true?
I actually went the Healthcare route, getting my cna and working in in home health. Surprisingly I am married, a step mom and another baby on the way. I do have a car.... Second car actually. I upgraded. I also finally got to visit Japan in 2016.
It's so strange knowing I'm going to be a stay at home mom soon too.
It's cool that you made your way to Japan. What areas did you visit? Was it what you expected?
I went to Japan last year (well, end of 2018 through start of 2019). I went to NYE celebrations in Hiroshima, which was a ton of fun.
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On 1/26/2020 at 9:37 AM, liamc2 said:
Getting pretty lively here the past few days. What’s the plan for all our twenty year anniversaries next year?
Edit: Even I can’t believe it’s been that long, apparently.
Twenty years! We must do something.
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On 4/22/2020 at 11:22 AM, Petie said:
Hey everyone! I know things here aren't anything like they used to be but I just want to wish any of you who still pop in to visit from time to time the best during these times. I hope you're all doing well, staying safe, and getting through COVID-19's visit to the Earth as best as you can.
You too mate. I must admit, this COVID-19 situation kinda has me hankerin' to create an old-fashioned OB RPG...
- Gavin, Petie, Whiteblaze and 1 other
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On 10/08/2018 at 2:43 PM, John said:
Could be that as you get older, social and capitalist pressures make you feel guilty for ever spending large chunks of time idly. Or it could be that the ever-mounting sense of life's precious brevity does the same. There's also the fact that most games are still made to appeal to adolescents, and you're probably just outgrowing their aesthetic appeal and crave something more meaningful or at least artful. And like you sort of alluded to with D&D, most video games don't fill people's needs to build and maintain real friendships (unless it's local multiplayer), and tabletop games do.
The new Mario Tennis slaps though.
My problem is that I buy far more games than I actually play. Growing up, there were always certain games I missed out on, and in some way I feel like I'm "catching up" now. But I don't have time to play them all. Also, it doesn't help that Assassin's Creed Odyssey takes 50-bazillion hours to finish, so it kind of sucks the oxygen out of the room for every other game. :-\
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Guild Wars
in Noosphere
Posted
I have such great memories of Guild Wars. I mostly played this with OBers and we had so many great adventures.